


Committed Rebound

by imperialMachine



Category: Solar Opposites
Genre: Alcohol, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - College/University, Anal Sex, Break Up, Character Death, Cheating, Drama & Romance, Drug Abuse, Drug Addiction, Drugs, Drunk Sex, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Friends With Benefits, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Jealousy, M/M, Marriage, Misunderstandings, Oral Sex, Partying, Sex, THEY'RE ALL HUMANS, Unplanned Pregnancy, made up characters - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-29
Updated: 2020-10-04
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:07:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 86,451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26178475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imperialMachine/pseuds/imperialMachine
Summary: Two men just got their hearts broken and they meet at a party and have a one night stand. Turns out, they're actually roommates.
Relationships: Korvotron "Korvo"/Terry (Solar Opposites), Terri/Terry (Solar Opposites)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 19





	1. Chapter 1

This wasn't the first time Terry's been to a college party, and it certainly won't be the last. When he heard about this party from Kim, he knew he had to show up because he's a huge party guy. Everyone on campus knows about him. He never misses a good party. He's definitely not here because he just got his heartbroken by his ex-girlfriend, Terri. That's ridiculous. He's Terry, the cool guy, who doesn't get attached to- to cheating bitches. 

The place was already filling up with people. He couldn't believe he showed up early for the party, talk about lame. Terry didn't want to be alone in his dorm today, especially not with Korvo around. He has a weird name but Terry didn't mind. He dated someone with the same name as him. If that wasn't the definition of egotistic, then he didn't know what was. Terry was mostly afraid that he might cry about getting cheated on, and he'll be damned if anyone saw him while he cried. He hasn't even fully processed his emotions yet. 

Looking around the place, there were couples everywhere. Terry's starting to think that coming here alone was a mistake. He just hopes that Terri didn't come here with her new toy. Another heartbreak was crossing the line, and frankly, Terry couldn't handle that after today. 

Now was no time to be moping around over a cheating ex. This was a party and Terry is the best party guy in town. He grabbed the shot glasses that contained tequila and drank it down. The crowd noticed and cheered him on, yelling, "Terry, Terry!" 

He wasn't even three shots in, and Terry felt like he was gonna pass out. He made it to five shots and his stomach was beginning to betray him. The party people eventually partied amongst themselves, leaving Terry to wobble to the stairs. He held his head in his hands. He couldn't believe he forgot to eat something before showing up. Terry could last way longer when it comes to tequila shots. 

Over by the door, Terri shows up with the guy that she cheated on Terry with. He gasps a bit too loudly. She was smiling and talking to the owner of the house, Kim. Her fingers were interlocked with her date and she looked happy. 

Terry felt like crying. But instead of letting his emotions out, he ran upstairs to hide from her. Kim had a sign at the top of the stairs that explicitly said, "Do not enter." Terry was drunk enough to be illiterate and entered anyway. He wandered in the hallway, burying his head in his hands while he walked. Why was she here, he thought. Terri wasn't a party person. She was the smart, beautiful, girl next door kind of chick. And she was wearing makeup. She never wore makeup when she was with him. 

The music was still ringing in his ears from earlier and his sight was fucked. Everything looked darker. Maybe because the lights were dim in the corridor of the second floor. Terry stops short when he sees a familiar person, dressed in a black sweater vest, suit pants with black dress shoes. Terry only knew one person who dressed this nerdy and depressing. "Korvo?" He rubbed his eyes to get a better look at his roommate. 

Korvo was sitting on the floor, leg crossed over the other, with a 40 in one hand and a joint in the other. And it looked like he'd been crying. He makes a "hmm" sound but doesn't move from his spot. His eyes could've been red from the weed. 

Terry goes over to Korvo and takes a seat next to him. He figured Korvo wanted to get away from everything like he was. He leaned his head back against the dark wooden wall, and glanced at Korvo without moving his head. He wondered why Korvo was here of all places. Korvo wasn't the type to go to a party, if anything, he's usually locked up in their room doing physics or chemistry stuff. He didn't know Korvo was a drinker either, nor did he know that he did weed. To Terry, Korvo looked a lot cooler this way. Korvo's cheeks were pink as he wore the same expression of impassive behavior. 

Terry closes his eyes, feeling almost calm with his presence around. He opens his eyes to see Korvo resting his head against the wall too, and putting the joint to his mouth, sucking in the devil's lettuce. A second later, he exhales as the smoke leaves his mouth. Korvo doesn't bother looking at Terry as he hands him the joint. Terry glanced from the joint to Korvo and took it. Taking a hit, Terry felt a bit better. Korvo took a sip from the bottle then he would trade with Terry for the blunt. 

"So, what's a nerd like you doing at a party like this?" Terry takes a sip from the bottle, trying to not make a face from how gross it tasted. Korvo liked this stuff?

"You're not the only one who can party." Korvo spoke slowly as he takes a hit of the joint again. The smoke escapes his mouth when he exhales. "There was a sign that said you aren't allowed up here."

"I was gonna be an idiot tonight." Terry looked towards Korvo. "Apparently, so were you."

Terry smiled when Korvo chuckled at his statement. "You can't always follow the rules." 

"That's surprising, coming from a guy who does things by the book." Terry drinks from the bottle again and makes a bleh sound. He forgot this tasted like piss. "God, that tastes like shit."

Korvo chuckles as he brings the joint to his lips again. "I know." He breathes out the puff of smoke and hands it to Terry, saving the last suck for him. 

Terry takes it, breathing in the last of the lettuce. "Fuck, yes." He breathes out the smoke. "You know, Korvo? I didn't know you were this cool." They looked at each other and began to laugh like two idiots sitting in the hallway of a big mansion. The laughter soon dies down, and Terry notices the soft look on Korvo's face. He looked sad. "So, what happened with your crush?" 

Korvo raised an eyebrow. He didn't think Terry would care about his personal life. He did tell Terry that he was going to confess because he doesn't have many friends to talk about his life with. But still, he was surprised, and so was Terry. "Uh," Korvo utters, rubbing his arm. 

Great. He made him uncomfortable. He's not having the best luck with anyone as of late. "Sorry, I didn't mean to-" 

"No, it's okay." Korvo stops him from finishing his sentence. "He rejected me." 

Terry's eyes widened. He patted Korvo on the shoulder. "I'm sorry, man. My night isn't going well either." He takes a swig of the 40, then sticks his tongue out. He forgot that he hates this swill. 

Korvo looks at him, tipping his head to the side. "What happened with you?"

"Ah," Terry rubs the back of his head. "It's kinda embarrassing."

"It's okay." Korvo assures him, chaff in his voice. "I won't tell anyone."

Terry sighs and blows air out of his nose, chuckling at Korvo's comment. "Okay. I found out that Terri has been cheating on me."

"Terri?" Korvo repeated. "Your- your girlfriend Terri?" 

Terry nodded. 

"Wow. I am sorry." Korvo says, meaning it.

"It's cool." He brought his legs up to his chest. "She brought her date here."

"Is that why you're up here?" Korvo asked, bringing the 40 up to his lips and drinking it. "Eugh! Gross."

"Then why did you-" before he could finish, Terry realized he was doing the same thing earlier. "Actually, nevermind."

They sat in silence, drunk and high from the substances. They continued to drink and feel bad for themselves. "Love sucks." 

Terry agreed, laying his head on Korvo's shoulders. "You loved him?" 

"Well," Korvo started, "he was my best friend since coming here and I fucked that up by confessing. Turns out, he's not into guys. Could've fooled me though. The amount of times he kissed me when we were drunk…" He shook his head. "What about you? You loved her?"

"I- I don't know." Terry rubbed his head, thinking about his feelings for Terri. "She was my longest relationship, probably the closest one to a real relationship."

Terry moved so that he's laying his head on Korvo's lap. He opened his mouth to say something but decided to leave Terry there. He puts a hand on Terry's forehead. Terry looked into Korvo's blue-gray eyes, they reminded him of clouds right before a storm. He always thought Korvo was cute, when he's not rambling about science or math. The light freckles spread across his cheeks and nose, but one can only see it when they're really close. And Terry was really close.

"I didn't know you were gay." Terry's gaze moved from Korvo's freckles to his lips. With all the liquor in his system, he’s having irrational thoughts. Thoughts like, what would it be like to kiss him right here. As quickly those thoughts came, they left with the same swiftness when Korvo chuckles, his voice sounding like music to Terry's ears. 

"Now, you're just assuming." Korvo says in between his laughs. Terry blushed. He was right. 

Terry sat up, with a sly grin on his face. "Haha. Sorry." He hadn't realized his face was really close to Korvo's. "I have a dumb thought." He admits. 

"So? Spill it." Korvo says, casually as Terry could feel his breath on his face. 

"It's a secret." Terry whispers. 

"You don't wanna share a secret with me, your good ol' friend, Korvy?" He has a goofy smile plastered on his face. Terry liked him this way. Korvo was just as silly as Terry was.

"Pssh! It wouldn't be much of a secret if I told you." Terry says, grabbing the bottle to drink from it only to find that it's empty. "Huh. Looks like we're out of drink."

"We could get more." Korvo got up from the floor and held his hand out to Terry. His vision became hazy while he waited for Terry to grab on to his hand. 

Terry ends up tripping over his own feet and falls on Korvo, who also tumbles to the ground. Korvo hit his head on the wooden floors, having a bigger headache than before. He looks down and sees Terry laying on his chest. He pushes himself up with his elbows, and comes face to face with his roommate, Korvo. They break out laughing, realizing how cliche this was. This would get so many clicks in for a romance scene in a dumb romance movie on YouTube. 

Korvo was the first to stop his chortle. “Could you tell me your secret now?” He asks.

Terry answers by pressing his lips on Korvo's. Korvo wrapped his arms around his waist, accepting the kiss, while Terry snakes his arms around the back of Korvo's neck, cushioning his head from the ground. He chuckles into Korvo’s mouth as he breathes him in. They begin to feel hot as they continue. He licks his lips, feeling the curves of Terry's sides. Terry bites Korvo's bottom lip as he breathes heavily into the kisses.

"Terry…" Korvo breathes him in. 

He hums into the kiss as Korvo kisses him back, feeling a certain hardness in his pants. 

"We should go somewhere private." Korvo says in between smooches.

Terry pushes himself up from Korvo, with his legs on either side of him. "I think here is fine, if you're really quiet." He leans down and bites his ear, sending shivers throughout Korvo's body.

A certain question popped into his mind that hadn't occurred before. "I thought you weren't into guys." 

Terry whispered, still close to Korvo's ear. "Now, _you're_ just assuming." 

Korvo blushed, red across the face from both the liquor and from Terry's comment. They both stumbled to their feet, but once they were standing, Terry had Korvo against this small table that had a vase on it. Korvo knocked it over when he made the table wobble with his hand and Terry, being the one to see it about to fall, stops and dove to catch the vase. Korvo watched as Terry fell to the floor and the vase was unharmed. 

"Holy shit." Terry uttered. Getting to his feet, he places the vase back where it came from. 

"You okay? You hit the ground pretty hard." Korvo tilted his head, his eyes still half-lidded, either from lust or substances.

"I'm fine." Terry looked around the place. It was still dim in here. The mood felt like it was over and Terry _definitely_ doesn't want to continue making out with Korvo. "We should go back to the party." He didn't mean it.

"We should." They both stared at each other for a moment, imagining joining the party again. But their bodies do the opposite of what their minds are telling them. Terry and Korvo were lip locked again in the hallway of this big ass mansion. 

Moments later, Terry pulls on the door handle to the nearest room upstairs. It happens to be an empty guest room. They made out against the door as Terry reached for the lock on the door, just in case. They somehow made their way to the tidied up bed. It's not gonna be so well kept once they're done with it. 

Terry sat on the edge of the bed as he watched Korvo get on his knees. He's blushing, knowing what he's about to do. Korvo fumbled with the zipper then he noticed how Terry was averting his eyes. "I can stop if you want." Korvo says, not wanting to move further from where they already were.

"No!" Terry held his hands up in defense. "It's just… I was always a giver."

Korvo had a grin on his face. "I don't mind switching." 

"Nah," Terry dismissed, caressing Korvo's chin with his thumb. "I like seeing you like this. Maybe you could put that mouth to good use."

Opening his mouth to comment on what Terry said, Korvo figured it's best to say nothing because it'll only ruin the moment. He unbuttons Terry's pants and shoves his hand under his boxers, grabbing into Terry's balls. "Might wanna rethink how you talk to me." He squeezes causing Terry to jolt. 

"Okay, dude. Jeez!" Terry crosses his arms and pouts. "Ever heard of dirty talking before?" He whispers the last part but Korvo could still hear him. 

He pulls down Terry's underwear as his dick pops out, still hard. Korvo gives the shaft a good lick and sucks the tip as Terry lets out a small gasp, feeling the sensation of Korvo's warm mouth. He strokes Korvo's black hair while he bobbed his head up and down on Terry's dick. Terry's face felt hot. Man, he's good at this, Terry thought while he watches Korvo lick the tip again. Korvo notices Terry's gaze and winks at him, causing Terry to avert his eyes. 

He gulped. His heart thumped in his chest harder than usual. Was Korvo flirting with him? It didn't matter if Korvo was flirting with him. He has his dick in Korvo's mouth, not to mention that he just got out of a relationship with Terri. Terri. What a bad time to think about her. He shakes the thought of Terri out of his head. He doesn't need her! He has Korvo, his cute, nerdy, roommate.

Terry doesn't even notice that Korvo stopped to look at him. "Hey, you okay? You look like you're about to cry." Korvo smiled awkwardly, rubbing the back of his head. "I didn't know I was that good." He chuckles. 

Terry wipes the tears lingering on his eyes. Covering his face with his forearm, he lays his head down on the bed. This was so uncool of him, crying like this, especially in front of Korvo who he wanted to avoid doing this in front of. Korvo kept quiet as he took a seat next to Terry on the bed, resting his weight on an arm. 

"I'm no psych major, but I know you're not supposed to cry while getting head. Or maybe you are? I'm not sure. I didn't think you were the type to cry during sex." Korvo reached over to Terry's shirt, drawing a circle on his chest. "Your dick is out, by the way."

Terry tries to suck his tears back into his eyes. "I know." He pulls his arm away from his face. His eyes still feel damp as he stares at the ceiling. Korvo wasn't the best at comforting but at least Terry could appreciate him trying. "I'm sorry. I ruined everything." 

"Well, I'm no longer erect, but you didn't ruin everything." Korvo spoke. His eyes were still half-lidded with a dopey smile on his face. 

Terry reached down for his underwear and his pants to pull them up. Korvo lays his head next to Terry's and they stare up at the ceiling. "Tonight was supposed to be fun. I just wanted to forget about her, you know? And I'm doing the exact opposite."

"I understand. I'm doing the same thing." Korvo runs a hand through his hair, a sigh escaping his lips. 

Terry sits up, creaking the bed. Terri wasn't coming back, at least not to him. What did he ever do to her? Sure, he has a history of cheating but he was completely faithful to her during the entirety of their relationship. No one had his attention as much as she did. No one loved her as much as he did. 

Korvo sat up too, once he heard Terry sniffling to himself. He gives Terry an amicable pat on the shoulder, attempting to give solace to his friend. Terry turns his head to face Korvo, tears streaming down his face like waterfalls. "Why did she leave me?" Terry's voice cracked. 

Korvo's eyes soften as he pulls Terry in for a hug. He sobbed into Korvo's shoulder, covering his sweater vest in tears and snot. This was not how either of them expected this night to go. Korvo patted Terry on the back, telling him that he's fine. This was strange for Korvo, though he would've reacted differently if he was sober. Terry never cried, if anything he would've just kept partying but that's not happening tonight. He didn't know Terry actually had feelings. Terry had a habit of making fun of Korvo regularly but he would dismiss it whenever Terry would be nice to him, like he'd offer to buy him coffee or dinner because Korvo's too caught up in his studies. 

When the sobs died down, Terry just rested his head on Korvo's shoulder. "You good now?"

Terry nods, wrapping his arms around Korvo's waist, feeling his warmth. He can smell Korvo's cologne. It was a faint scent of winter breeze. It wasn't the actual scent of winter breeze, but to Terry, it smelt like that. "Can we stay like this for a bit?" 

"Sure." 

The music still went on in the center of the party. It was blaring and annoying, but from up here it was calming. It made the silence between Terry and Korvo less awkward, if it could be awkward to begin with. So much for sex, Korvo thought. It didn't matter to him that much anyway. If he and Terry had gotten to third base, he's pretty sure that he'd pass out from the liquor and weed. But all this comforting was sobering him up a bit.

Today was unexpected. Of all people to be entangled with, Terry just so happens to show up during his time of need. Well, not that much need. But still, getting rejected hurts. He can't imagine what Terry is feeling though, because Korvo never had a relationship. He mostly slept around and left the next day because he doesn't have the time to be in a relationship, and he was mostly saving his first real relationship with his best friend but that's gone out the window. 

He wondered if this would be weird between him and Terry. They were so close to having sex in a stranger's guest room. Sober Korvo would highly be against this, but Sober Korvo wasn't here right now. He felt Terry shift under his arms. "Korvo?" Terry called.

"Yeah?" 

"Can we… kiss again?" Looking down at Terry, Korvo saw his face flushed. 

Korvo tilts his head. "Weren't you just crying about your ex?" 

"Yes, and?" Terry pulled himself off of Korvo's touch. "I can't think about something else?" 

"You can. It's just unexpected." 

"Do you wanna kiss or not?" Terry crossed his arms, arching a brow. 

Korvo rolled his eyes and leaned in, planting a kiss on Terry's lips. Terry puts his hand on Korvo's as he deepens their kiss. He held onto Korvo's hand, interlocking his fingers with his. Korvo didn't have the heart to tell Terry that he doesn't want a relationship with anyone because the guy just got dumped. Now he's assuming that Terry wants a relationship with him. Korvo doesn't want to hurt the guy, but he doesn't want to ruin this moment either. 

Terry tugged on Korvo's lame sweater vest. He'd use force if he had to just to get him to take off the damn sweater. Of course, Korvo got the memo and pulled it off of his body. Terry checked out his roommate. He looked a lot better without the vest. Terry didn't know why Korvo felt the need to hide his body with that stupid thing, he was already super attractive. Terry thought that if Korvo tried, he would be covered in bitches and twinks. Little did Terry know, Korvo already does that. He just wasn't very open about it. 

Korvo gazed up at Terry, who was straddling him, grinding slightly against his crotch. He let Terry play with the buttons on his shirt, trying to take his shirt off. After attempting to undo the buttons and failing, Terry rips open the white shirt as the buttons came popping out of the fabric, flying somewhere in the room. "Now, what did my shirt ever do to you?" Korvo teased, a flirtatious tone in his voice.

"It's in my way." Fingers trickled up Terry's back from under his shirt as Korvo felt Terry's spine. His touch was firm and hard to ignore. Terry captures Korvo's lips again as his hands roamed Korvo's chest, feeling the bareness of his skin. He wondered if Korvo ever felt hot under his sweater vest. 

Somehow, Terry was shirtless too as his pants grew tighter and the air in the room felt warm against his skin. Soon both of their pants were scattered somewhere in the room, along with their underwear. Terry hadn't realized he was gazing into Korvo's eyes the whole time while he fucked him into the bed. He remembers thinking about how beautiful Korvo's eyes were. Terry never knew how delicious Korvo was and how good he felt on his skin. 

Korvo pinned one of Terry's arms to the bed while Terry's other hand was holding Korvo by the hip, pulling him in whenever he thrusts. Small moans escaped Terry's mouth as he tried to suppress them for fear that someone might hear them. Korvo leaned down and bit Terry's neck, breathing heavily on him and leaving love marks on his flesh. 

"Korvo.. " he held onto him, his nails digging into his back as Korvo kept hitting his sweet spot. He winced when he felt Korvo's free hand grab onto his cock and began to jerk him off. 

Turning his head, Korvo nibbled on Terry's ear as he squirms under him. He could tell Terry was close, and so was he. The thrust began faster and irregular as he and Korvo moaned. He kisses Terry to suppress the sweet sounds he's making. Suddenly, Terry moaned loudly into Korvo's mouth as he trembled underneath, his legs hooked around Korvo's waist and pulling closer. The orgasm sent him over the edge, like too many fireworks going off at the same time. Terry felt Korvo finish inside of him, and he still had his lips pressed onto Korvo's. 

Korvo pulls away, his face as flushed as Terry's. They both took a minute to breathe and let the orgasmic haze rush over them. Korvo looks over to see the hand that he pinned him with was interlocked with Terry's. He didn't realize he was holding Terry's hand the whole time. Korvo moves to rest beside Terry. 

"What did we just do?" Terry's chest moving up and down as he breathes.

"I don't know." Korvo sighs. 

They turned to look at each other again. Laughter rose from their chests as they frivolously giggled, being silly and feeling silly together. Terry couldn't believe he fucked his roommate. Korvo couldn't believe he was falling for his roommate after one night of boning. In all honesty, he's terrified.

Korvo checked the time on his watch. It was way past curfew, like 3 am-ish. Really, he was looking for any excuse to leave the room. Getting up, he goes to gather his clothes and slip them on. 

"Where are you going?" Terry asked, slight panic in his voice. He thought they were going to do a post-sex cuddle session.

"It's late, and I'm not looking forward to getting caught here, where we aren't allowed." Korvo buttons the remaining buttons that didn't snap off. 

Terry sat up, grabbing his boxers and putting them on. "Um, this isn't awkward between us, is it?" 

Korvo slipped on his sweater vest and turned, putting on a fake smile. He doesn't know the answer to that but he also doesn't want Terry to worry. "Of course not. We were just helping each other. " Korvo says casually, but internally he was freaking out.

"Okay, good." Terry took his shirt and pulled it over his head and into his chest. "I don't really want to change roommates." 

Neither did Korvo. Once he was relatively tidied up, he helped Terry find his clothes or any belongings in the room. "Okay," Korvo sighs. "We have to leave separately." 

"Got it." Terry nodded. He knew the procedure when he used to sleep around with people at parties. To avoid any rumors, they left at different times. He's intrigued that Korvo knew the procedure as well, since he's a nerd who has no sex life. But the love making they just did, proves Terry otherwise. 

"Don't be out too late." Without thinking, Korvo comes over to give Terry a quick kiss on the lips. 

Before either of them could process what happened, Korvo was already out of the door. Standing outside, Korvo just realized what he did. Running a hand through his hair, he thought, why did I kiss him before leaving? 

He looked around to see the hallway still empty and unoccupied. He finds the empty 40 bottle on the floor and picks it up. No evidence.

Terri danced with her new boyfriend, holding up the red cup you see in movies, and grinding against him. From the corner of her eyes, she sees a guy with perfectly kept black hair, wearing a black sweater vest, holding a bottle in his hand descending from the stairs. He had a stoic expression for someone who drank a whole bottle by himself. Instead of joining the party, he just leaves out the front door. 

Moments later, she sees Terry coming down the same stairs. His hair was messy and he was sneaking down comically, while holding his shoes. His face was red and it looked like he was holding back a smile. 

Terri couldn't believe it. Right after their breaking up, he already has someone else? And an attractive guy, no less! She grimaced while she watched as Terry "sneak" out of the front door. 

When Korvo made it outside, he acted natural the whole time. He looked around to see if anyone was suspicious of him from outside the party, so far no one was. He casually made his way back to his dorm, avoiding coming into contact with anyone. 

Once Terry made it outside, he didn't see Korvo. He must've gone back to the dorm already, Terry thought. He wondered if Korvo would surprise him by being naked once he comes home, but that's just wishful thinking. Before he leaves the party site, someone grabs his hand, stopping him from moving. 

Terry turns to see his ex, Terri. His eyes widened, then narrowed when he sees her boyfriend with her. "Terry! I didn't know you were here!" She puts on a fake voice for show. 

"You know I'm always down for a party." Terry answers casually as his heart raced in his chest. He needed to keep it together. He needed to remind himself that he doesn't need her. 

"But you're leaving so soon?" Terri puts on her innocent face, pretending that she didn't just see Terry having a one night stand with some other guy.

Sweat threatened to form on his forehead. "I had too much to drink, so I was just leaving." He hopes that she gets the memo and leaves him alone. He doesn't want to see her right now.

"Why don't I walk you to your dorm?" She offers quickly. "You can't be wandering by yourself all drunk like this, right babe?" She calls her boyfriend who's way more wasted than Terry and Terri combined. 

Terry glanced at the hung over boyfriend who barely has his eyes open. "I'll be fine. You should take care of him." He stops himself from pausing mid sentence and points to her boyfriend. Terry turns away from her. His chest hurts. He's ready to cry again, but this time, in the shower. 

"Terry." She calls.

He turns to see her, a frown painted on his lips. Why couldn't she just leave him alone? Couldn't she see that he's suffering by seeing her like this? There was desperation and guilt in her eyes, but Terry didn't care. At that moment, he wished he was like Korvo, stoic, emotionless looking. He wore his heart on his sleeves for too often. He thinks that Terri is getting off on seeing him hurt like this with her presence.

Terri wanted to ask Terry about his one night stand, if it meant anything. She wanted to ask for forgiveness, maybe he could take her back. Her new beau wasn't as cool as Terry was, and he was a bore when it comes to conversing. She thought maybe he would be more interesting if they came to a party. But she also knew that Terry would be here too because he never skips a party. "It's nothing." 

She watches as he walks away from Kim's mansion. Little did she know, Terry had tears in his eyes as he took big steps away from the event. 

Eventually, Terry made it back to his dorm. He stuck the keys in and opened the door to find the lights on. Good. Korvo made it here safely. He hears the shower running and goes over to the small hallway to where the bathroom was. Terry sat on the floor by the bathroom. He didn't want to be alone right now. 

Soon, the water turns off and he hears Korvo step out of the shower. Terry wondered how he was able to shower after drinking and smoking. Moments later, the door swings open and Korvo steps out to see Terry on the floor. Terry looks up to see Korvo with nothing on but a towel around his waist and another towel on his shoulder. Korvo's hair was dripping and the water droplets dripped down his chest. 

Terry gulped as he gawked at Korvo's chest.

"What are you doing on the floor?" He poked a toe to Terry's leg. 

Terry got to his feet. "Just resting a bit. " He tried to sound enthusiastic but Korvo could easily see through it. 

"What happened?" 

"Terri talked to me." He rubbed his arm. 

Korvo didn't know much about Terri besides the fact that she dated Terry and then cheated on him. But the sound of her name irks him. "Really?" He pulls the towel from his shoulder and rubs it in his hair, drying out the wetness. "What did she say?"

"She said she didn't know I was there." Terry scoffs. "She had her boyfriend with her, Korvo. It was like she wanted to torment me."

Relief occupied him. Korvo thought she wanted to get back together with Terry. He shouldn't care but he does. He doesn't understand why though. He wanted to ask him more, but felt like he would be prying if he asked further questions. 

"She looked sad though." Terry says, rubbing his chin. "Does she want to get back together?"

"No!" Korvo hears himself say. Terry just looked at him with a confused expression. "I- I mean, she cheated on you. I don't know about you but I wouldn't feel comfortable with that thought in the back of my head, if my girlfriend did that to me. Which you know, I don't have one." What the hell did he just say? It was like he was having a stroke. Terry doesn't care if he has a girlfriend or not. Why did he say that? He's way better at articulating words than the next guy. He's in several advanced classes for Pete's sake. 

"Okay… but still though. This is gonna be stuck in my head for a while."

Korvo puts an arm on Terry's shoulder, making their way to the living room. "Look, you're gonna be okay without her." He didn't know why he was trying so hard to convince Terry to forget about Terri. The thought of them getting back together just pisses Korvo off. He doesn't get it. He and Terry fucked only once and he's acting like a clingy boyfriend. They're not even dating!

"You think so?" Terry sat on the couch as he watched Korvo get up to get a water bottle from the fridge. 

"I know so!" He shouts from across the room. Korvo turns open the cap and chugs the water down. He didn't realize how dehydrated he was. He glanced over to the window to see the sun coming up. "Okay, I'm heading off to bed."

Terry jumps. "Wait, so soon?" 

"The sun is coming up." He points to the window. "Unless you wanna join me." He was half serious about that. 

Terry kept quiet as he looked around the room. He does want to sleep with Korvo again, but this time without the sex.

Korvo sets his bottle down. A smile pops on his face. "You wanna sleep with me?" 

"Well, I don't wanna be alone right now." Terry rubbed the back of his head. 

He couldn't contain his excitement. Korvo didn't know why he was excited. "Alright. You can sleep in my room, but shower before you do." Korvo goes over to the door where his room is. "I'll be waiting." He opens the door and slips in his room. 

A blush crept on Terry's face. His heart was racing from the thought of sleeping with Korvo. Sure, he wondered, very often, what Korvo looked like while he slept. He never got to see it because Korvo locked his door every night. He couldn't hear any snores because Korvo was quiet, almost too quiet. 

Terry hopped into the shower and washed himself quickly so he could do some cuddling with Korvo. He wondered if Korvo was a cuddler, or if he hogged all the blankets, or if he snores in his sleep. Terry giggled. He couldn't contain his excitement. Terry touched his chest as the water rained on him. He was sad about Terri, but he doesn't know why he's so happy about sleeping in the same bed as Korvo. 

Terry slipped out of the shower and into his pajamas. He turned the doorknob to Korvo's room and it was open. Opening the door, he finds Korvo in his bed curled up in the blanket. Terry came closer to get a better look, though it was dark in the room. The only light source was the street lamp outside and the rising sun through the trees.

Korvo was sound asleep. Terry didn't think he was in the shower for that long. He grazed a finger on Korvo's cheek, watching his face twitch in his sleep. Korvo mumbled something in his sleep, but it was too incoherent to understand. Terry smiled. So he does talk in his sleep, Terry thought. Korvo was too cute to wake up, but he doesn't want to sleep alone tonight. 

Korvo cracked an eye open and he saw Terry standing by his bed. He scoots over and opens the blanket for Terry to join him. Terry happily crawls into the bed with Korvo. He faced away from him because this was too much and too gay for him. From behind, he felt Korvo move close, pressing his chest against Terry's back. Then he felt Korvo shiver in his sleep. Korvo's arm hung over Terry's waist and he quietly snoozed in behind Terry. He smiles. He's definitely a cuddler.


	2. Chapter 2

The ringing grew increasingly louder by the second, to the point where it was unbearable. Korvo just wanted to sleep. His eyes shot open as he grumbled. Sitting up, he noticed a sleeping Terry beside him. He doesn't remember inviting him to sleep together. He always kept his door locked at night. Maybe last night he forgot and Terry had a nightmare or something? Korvo watched as Terry snoozed in his bed. He does look cute while he's sleeping, Korvo thought. 

The ringing happens again. Korvo crawls over Terry's body, bouncing the bed a bit too much that it wakes Terry. Before Terry could get up, Korvo was already out the door. 

The ringing stops when Korvo goes to answer the door and finds Terri on the other side. She wore a strawberry dress with a purse over her shoulder and a pink bow in her dyed red hair. Korvo tried to recall if they met at Kim's party last night, or if he accidentally slept with her and she's just showing up to call him a dick for leaving. It can't be. Korvo's always careful when it comes to one night stands. "Who are you?" 

Before she got to answer, Terry called from behind Korvo. He stood next to Korvo with his blanket around his shoulder. "Terri?" Terry rubbed his eyes to make sure he wasn't dreaming. "What the heck are you doing here?"

"I wanted to see you." Terri tried to keep her eyes on Terry because she could feel Korvo's gaze burning through her. She could tell Korvo didn't like her. 

"Since you two know each other, I'll leave you to it." Korvo slips away from the door. 

Terry didn't want him to leave, so he grabbed into Korvo's arm behind the door, keeping him still. Terry felt at ease as Korvo held his hand while he talked to Terri.

"I wanted to be sure that you made it home safe." She rubbed her arm, feeling slightly uncomfortable. She remembered him as the guy that Terry had sex with at the party. She didn't think would sleep over. "Who was that by the way?"

"Oh, Korvo? He's my roommate. I'm pretty sure I mentioned him a few times before." He forced a chuckle as his grip on Korvo's hand tightened, clearly tense from this. Then he felt Korvo's thumb rubbing on the back of his hand, to try to calm him down.

"Yes, I remember. You said he's a nerdy virgin boy who's never touched a boob." Terri explains as Korvo gripped Terry's hand hard, making him cringe in pain. "Are you okay?"

"Yes! Totally fine. I just have a bit of a hangover is all." Terry gripped Korvo's hand back for revenge. He smiles, watching Terry attempt to hurt him. 

"Maybe I could come in and help you. " She suggested, stepping forward.

"It's okay. You don't have to." She was close to Terry's face. One movement would make them kiss. Terry really wanted to, but she broke his heart in the worst way possible.

"I insist." She sounded impatient.

"No." 

"Terry-" 

"Terri." His eyes don't falter, and instead he was getting irritated by the minute with her here. He began to tremble. He wanted her to stop. 

Terri opens her mouth to say something but Terry just closes the door on her. He frowns, looking at the door where she once stood. He lets go of Korvo's hand and buries his face in his hands. Korvo reaches over to pat Terry on the shoulder, but just pulls his hand away. This wasn't his business.

They sat in the kitchen, eating cereal in silence. Korvo stares at the hand that Terry held onto earlier. He still feels his touch on him. Maybe he's thinking too hard into this. He doesn't remember what happened last night but he feels something important happened. Dammit, why did he have to drink and smoke so much? 

"Sorry, you had to see that." Terry stirs the milk in his bowl. 

"It's okay." Korvo says. He couldn't shake the feeling off of him. What the hell happened to him last night? He would never let anyone touch him like that. "So, that broad is your girlfriend?"

"Was." Terry corrected. "She cheated on me. I told you last night."

Korvo jumped. "You were with me last night?" 

"Yeah, don't you remember? We…" Terry realized that Korvo doesn't remember what happened between them last night. "talked."

"We talked." Korvo repeated. "I don't believe that for a second." Drunk Korvo never sits down to talk to someone unless the conversation is doing sex, then yes, he's a great person to "talk" to.

"We really did talk," Terry fidgets with his thumbs. "While we were naked." 

Korvo chokes on the coffee he was sipping on. "What!" 

"Don't worry about it! It didn't mean anything." He lied. 

Korvo ran a hand through his hair. "What happened exactly?"

"Well, I found you at Kim's place on the second floor and you were drinking gross beer while smoking weed. You told me about getting rejected by your boy crush and I told you about Terri. Long story short, my dick was in your mouth." Terry shrugged, a smug smile on his face. 

"What?" Korvo looked at his reflection in the coffee cup. He turns to look at Terry. "Was I any good?"

"Oh, yeah dude. You were great. Then…" Terry trailed off, hesitant to tell him that he cried while Korvo was giving him a blowjob. "We had sex." 

"Oh my God." Korvo rubbed a hand against his face. "I'm so sorry."

"Don't be it was-" He thought back to last night when Korvo fucked him. A blush appears on his face. "It was great. I wouldn't mind doing it again with you."

Korvo gulped. He was nervous all of a sudden. Usually he never sees a one night stand more than once, but this one happens to be his roommate. And he wants to do it again. 

Terry noticed the nervous look at Korvo's face. It was strange because Korvo was usually emotionless. He probably doesn't want to have sex with Terry again. In all honesty, he thinks Korvo could do better. "I mean, we don't have to if you don't want to." 

Korvo snaps out of it. "No, it's not that. I just wished I remembered." He knows that he and Terry weren't very close, if anything they were the exact opposite. And they had only one class together, which happens to be the extra credit class. 

"I can help you jog your memory." He winked. 

Korvo rolled his eyes at the attempt. He considered it though, having casual sex with Terry. The pros: Korvo doesn't have to leave his dorm, he doesn't have to be cool in front of people to get them to want him, he won't be drunk as often. The cons: It might ruin his relationship with Terry. Though there's not much of a relationship to begin with. Korvo doesn't see Terry as a friend because he barely sees him. They're simply just roommates. 

"Fine." Korvo says. "But, I must be clear with you if we're ever going to keep doing this."

Terry smiles, nodding and listening to Korvo's proposal. "Yeah?"

"I don't engage in romantic relationships. It's a preference that I strictly stick to my studies. So, our relationship will only be sexual." Korvo explains. 

"Friends with benefits. Got it."

"Well, not friends, but you could see it that way." Korvo sipped his coffee. 

"I mean, now that I'm single, I can bang anyone I want! I don't need a relationship either! I can be independent!" Terry stood up from his seat, feeling this new found independence in himself. He doesn't need anyone.

"Speaking of which, why were you in my bed this morning?" Korvo crossed his arms, while watching Terry cheer.

"Oh." He stops with a smile on his face. "You invited me in and cuddled me all night."

Korvo blushed. This was why he never sleeps with anyone. "Shut up. No, I didn't." 

He pushed his chair out and walked to the bathroom as Terry yelled cuddler while following Korvo to the bathroom. Korvo grabbed Terry's shirt and pulled him into a kiss to shut him up. Terry pulled away and whispered with a wide grin on his face, "cuddler." 

Later, Terry spent the day at a friend’s dorm. He still hadn’t told them that he and Terri had broken up, and doesn’t plan to because that friend is his dealer for some killer meth. He didn’t know where it came from and he didn’t care because it was the best around. He wanted to keep this relationship with the guy pretty tight because Terry doesn’t want to look for a new plug. Just when Terry was about to smoke some meth, Terri walked into the room. 

Terri opens her mouth to say something, but Terry runs to her and pulls her outside. “What are you doing here?” She asked. “I thought you didn’t want to see me.”

“I don’t.” Terry rubbed his arm, feeling ashamed especially when he avoided Terri just to see her friend. “I was gonna get high with Steve. Don’t tell him that we broke up because he wouldn’t want to hang out anymore.”

Terri crossed her arm. “You dumped me.”

“You dumped me when you fucked that... “ Terry trailed off. He sighs, calming himself down. He can’t afford to get angry now. “Okay, look. Just don’t tell him.”

“You want to pretend to be together?” Terri raised an eyebrow. “I dunno, Terry. This sounds like straight out of a romance movie.”

“What? You think I’m gonna want to get back together?” He had his hands on his hips.

“No. Do you, though?” She blinked her pretty brown eyes at him, hoping he’d say yes.

Terry doesn’t answer. He doesn’t know. He wants to but he doesn’t think he could forgive her for what she did. Then Steve opens the door, his face makes out a smile. 

“Were you two making out?” He brought the cigarette to his mouth.

Terri and Terry glanced at each other. Terry made the first move and put an arm on Terri’s shoulder, pulling her close to him. “Yup!” Terry flashed a fake smile.

“You lovebirds.” Steve smiles lazily as he adjusts his college hat. “You guys wanna smoke or…?”

“Actually, I’ll just take the goods and be on my way.” Terry answers before Terri gets to say something. “I have to talk to my professor about my grades. You know, I gotta work some charisma charms to avoid failing for the semester.” 

“I feel you bro.” He picks up the little baggie and tosses it to Terry. 

Terry was about to leave when Steve cleared his throat, audibly. “What?” Terry sweats. He thinks Steve might be suspicious. 

“Aren’t you forgetting something?” Steve glances at Terri. He wanted Terry to kiss her in front of him. 

Terry lets out an uncomfortable laugh. “Right.” He goes over to Terri and kisses her on the cheek. “Later, babe.” He forced himself to say. He could tell she was uncomfortable too, maybe even a bit sad. 

He went off on his merry way to his dorm.

Korvo didn’t know why his father had to give him so many science classes. He knew everything there was to know about it. He’s bored at this point, but at least it’ll be a breeze to go through. There was supposed to be a club meeting today but it got canceled because the leader caught a virus. He hopes he didn’t catch that virus. His day was free, and he didn’t know how he wanted to spend it. 

Korvo checked his phone to see if his best friend texted him back yet. Still no reply. He feels like such an idiot. They had two classes together and they were partnered up to do a project. He won’t even text Korvo about the project. Korvo didn’t think it was that awkward being around him, even though he does feel a twinge in his chest every time his friend looked away from him. Korvo is a big boy. He can push his emotions to the side, save them for later. This was nothing to be upset about.

He glances at his phone again. Still no messages. Korvo looks up to see his friend walking towards him in the hall, but the moment the friend looks up, he turns a heel and walks in a different direction. “John.” Korvo called. He picked up his pace to try to match John’s but he ended up running away from Korvo. Korvo raced after his friend. “John, wait!”

Eventually, he lost his friend in a library. He’s such an idiot. What did he ever do to him besides wanting to love him? Korvo bit his lip, he really fucked up. There’s no point in staying in this library, the librarian might yell at him for just standing there. 

On his way to his dorm, he sees Terri standing in front of the door, deciding whether she should knock or not. He comes up to her. “Terri, right?” She quickly turns to him. 

“Yes.” She laughs awkwardly, glancing at the door and back to Korvo. “You know if Terry’s in there? I need to talk to him.”

Korvo shrugs. “I just got here, but I can check if you want.” He really didn’t want to offer but he’s a gentleman. He’s obligated to be polite. Taking the key out of his pocket, he sticks it in the keyhole. Opening the door, the place was empty, but he saw Terry’s shoes by the door. Korvo kicked his shoes away to hide them. He turns back to Terri. “Just a second.” Korvo closes the front door and walks over to Terry’s room. 

Turning the knob, he sees Terry smoking on his bed while listening to sad breakup music on low volume because he knows that it’ll bother Korvo if it’s too loud. Terry was deleting the pictures he took with Terri as he saw Korvo standing by the door. 

“Your ex is here. She wants to talk to you.” He waves a hand in front of his face to get rid of the smoke hitting him. 

“I’m not here.” Terry coughs as Korvo rolls his eyes.

Relationship issues, he thought sarcastically. He slips out of the room and goes back to the front door. Opening it, he sees Terri’s face light up. “Yeah, he’s nowhere to be found. Sorry.”

“Oh,” She looks down. “If you see him, could you tell him that it’s unfair that he’s using me.”

“Sure.” Korvo says, not understanding what she meant by that. He closes the door. Korvo sees Terry trudding out of his room. His hair looks a mess, his eyes are puffy and his nose is red. Korvo makes his way to the couch and Terry follows him, taking a seat next to the dude. “So what’s up with you?”

Terry rested his head on Korvo’s shoulder. “I don’t wanna talk about it.”

Korvo didn’t want to talk about his problem either. “Wanna have sex?”

Terry looked up at Korvo. “When I’m at my most vulnerable? Korvo, you sly dog.”

“No, I was— look. I thought that maybe you wanted to forget about him- I mean, her.” Korvo began to sweat. He hoped that Terry didn’t hear what he said. 

He looked over to see Terry with a wide smile on his face. “Him?”

“Ugh, fuck.” 

Terry scoots closer. “What happened with ‘him’?”

Korvo rolls his eyes again. He doesn’t want to talk about this. “What are we, some girls at a sleepover? It’s none of your business, Terry.”

Terry pouts. “You’re right. I thought you wanted to have someone to talk to since you have no friends.”

“I have friends.”

“Yeah, the one guy who’s able to tolerate you doesn’t want anything to do with you. I’m the closest you got to a friend.” Ouch. But it was true. Korvo hated how Terry was right about this. “So, what happened with ‘him’?”

Korvo grimaced. “He… ran away from me.”

“You chased him?”

“Yes.”

“Creep.”

“Wha- I thought this was gonna be a no judgement zone.” Korvo crossed his arms. 

“I didn’t promise you nothing.” Terry stuck his tongue out playfully. The room was quiet as Terry’s stomach growled loudly. 

“You hungry?”

“Very. I was doing meth all day.” Terry got up and grabbed the menu from a local pizza place on the counter in the kitchen. He sat on the tall stool. The food wasn’t great but at least it was something. 

Korvo took his phone out. “Yeah, stop doing that.” He dialed the number and ordered his food then Terry pointed to the order he wanted so Korvo could take it down. Once he hangs up, he sets his phone down. “Since I shared my issue today, it’s your turn.”

“Uh,” Terry looked around the kitchen for something, anything to change the subject. “Man, I am super thirsty. Get me a bottle.”

Korvo narrowed his eyes, turning around to open the fridge and grab a water bottle. When he turns around, Terry snatches it, snapping open the cap. “Now can you-”

Terry interrupted Korvo by squeezing the bottle towards him, soaking his sweater vest. “I spilled my drink. Now, you have to change out of it.” Terry spoke in a teasing way, but really he wanted Korvo to stop prying.

Korvo pulled his sweater vest over his head, taking it off. He wrings out the water, giving Terry an annoyed look. “Terri was right. You _are_ unfair.” The water just spills to the floor.

Terry stiffens when Korvo says Terri’s name. “She said that?”

“That was part of it.” He puts the vest over his shoulder. “If you wanna know more, tell me why you’ve been in your room getting high, and crying like a bitch.”

He really wanted to know what Terri said about him, but at the same time he doesn’t want to know anything that Terri’s done or said. Curiosity gets the best of him. “Fine. I hadn’t told my friends that Terri and I broke up. They won’t hang out with me anymore if they find out because they’re mostly Terri’s friends. _And_ they’re my plugs.”

“Terri hangs out with drug dealers?” 

“Yeah, but you didn’t hear it from me.” Terry points. “Point is, we have to pretend to be together so I can get the goods. And I’ll be damned if I don’t get my drugs!” 

Korvo rubbed the space between his eyebrows. “Okay, I get it, you addict. No wonder she said, and I quote, ‘it’s unfair that he’s using me.’ End quote.” 

“Me? Unfair?” Terry got to his feet. “She’s the one that’s unfair! I didn’t even want to break up!” 

Korvo’s heart ached hearing Terry say that. He should’ve stopped prying when he got the chance. All of his words were caught in his throat, and he didn’t know what else to say. Why did he feel hurt by this? 

“But you know,” Terry snaps Korvo back from his thoughts. “I can’t trust her anymore. And having to pretend as if nothing happened sucks. It confuses me, and makes me think that I should go back to her.” 

Though he didn’t show it. It bothered him that Terry was thinking so much about this, about Terri. He knows he’s not in the right place to tell someone what to do, he’s gotten enough of that from his dad, but he doesn’t want Terry to go back to Terri. Could anything he say change how Terry feels about her? He doesn’t want to find out. 

“You good? You look pale.” Terry asked, bringing his hand up to Korvo’s face. 

Korvo slaps it away without meaning to. There was a knock on the door. “I’ll get it!” Korvo forced a smile on his face, hoping that Terry couldn’t see through him.

It was the pizza guy. Korvo pays and tips the man. He shuts the door behind him and sets the food on the table. “Are you sure you’re okay?” Terry called, staring at his roommate. 

“Yeah. Just fine.” Korvo pulled on the collar of his shirt as he began to sweat. “Is it hot?”

“No, the AC is on. Maybe you should sit down.”

“Standing is fine.” Korvo began to breathe heavily. He thought that maybe the room was a bit dry or something. Terry reached for Korvo’s face again, only for him to snatch his wrist. When Korvo realized he was hurting Terry, his grip loosened. “Sorry.” He muttered.

Terry touches Korvo’s forehead. “Oh, man. You’re hot.” 

“I appreciate the compliment.” Korvo jokes. 

“You have a fever. C’mon.” Terry guides him to the bathroom to take off his wet shirt. Once the shirt was off, Korvo was noticeably shivering.

Korvo’s teeth began chattering as he hugged himself. “C-can you please get me a shirt?” 

Terry walks out of the bathroom to find one of his oversized college sweaters. “Here.” Terry tossed it to Korvo. 

“This is yours.” Korvo held it up, looking at the awful college design. 

“Yeah, and? I’ve seen your balls, Korvo. This isn’t the worst thing that’s happened to someone.” Korvo slips on the sweater, feeling warmer and cozier. It even smelled like Terry, like spring. 

“That’s not the worst thing that’s ever happened to you, right?” 

“Nah, man. Your balls are nice.” Terry chuckles, thinking back to when he had them in his mouth that one time. “I’d love to-” 

“Can you not daydream about my nuts?” Korvo stood up, grabbing the wet shirt and tossing it in the dirty clothes bin. 

“Sorry.” Terry laughed. “I haven’t been with a guy for a while.”

“Really?” Korvo raised a brow. He thinks that Terry’s been with Terri for at least five years, because to him, that is a long time. “How long have you been with Terri?”

“Two years.” He follows Korvo out of the room and into the kitchen where the food was. “Two years without dick, not that I’m complaining, but sometimes a guy needs to suck a homie off.”

Korvo takes a seat on the tall stool and takes his food out of the bag. 

“Wait, shouldn’t you be eating soup or something?”

“I’ll be fine.”

“Don’t you need medicine and blankets?”

“Terry-”

“I don’t want you to die, Korvo!” 

Korvo had an unimpressed look on his face. “Are you done?”

“Yeah.” Terry sat next to Korvo. They ate in comforting silence.

A few hours later, Terry made his way to Korvo’s room to find that his door was wide open. He hears noise coming from the bathroom. He goes to see Korvo hunched over the toilet, vomiting the dinner out. He grimaces as he leans on the sink beside Korvo patting his back while he suffers. “I thought I’d be the first one to get pregnant.” He jokes. 

“Shut up.” Korvo spits in the toilet. “I’m dying.” 

“So much for surprise fever sex.” Terry crossed his arms.

Korvo wipes the spit on his mouth with the sleeve of the sweater. “Terry, what makes you think I’m in the mood for sex?”

“I thought it would make you feel better.” Terry opens the cabinet and takes out the aspirin. He sets it on the sink. Leaving to grab some water for Korvo, he returns, handing him the cup. ”I told you so.”

“Fuck you.” Korvo takes the cup.

“I’m trying.” Terry winks at Korvo, as he watches him drink down the water and swallow a pill. “When you get better, do that to me.”

Korvo held his hand out so Terry could help him off of the floor. He got to his feet, feeling dizzy. “I’m too busy feeling like shit to be horny.” Terry helps Korvo to his room and sets him on the bed. “Could you stay here tonight?” 

“Again? Hell yeah!” Terry closes Korvo’s door and slides into his bed with him. “We could cuddle again.”

Korvo kicked Terry out of the bed. “Nevermind.”

“Aw, c’mon Korvo!” Terry pouted, making a cute puppy dog face. 

The air in the room grew colder as Korvo shivered. He needed more warmth. That’s the only reason he wants to sleep with Terry again, not because he’s comfortable or anything. “Fine.”

Terry practically threw himself in Korvo’s bed, hugging him. “I like this.” He laid on Korvo's body, who's under the blanket. “I feel like I’m getting to know you better, besides you being obsessed with science and being a nerd.” He hears Korvo quietly snoring in his spot. Terry couldn’t believe Korvo used him as a blanket.


	3. Chapter 3

Korvo can't believe this. The club leader got him sick, and he's forced to stay in his dorm to get better. It must've been something he ate that made him vomit last night. He pulls the thermometer out of his mouth to check his temperature. It's still at 102°. He did everything right. Well, Terry did most of it right. 

Speaking of Terry, he had gone out earlier to buy stuff to make porridge for Korvo. He saw it in an anime and thought that he could do it too. The thought of Terry cooking for him makes him giggle to himself. Korvo glanced at his phone to check the time. It had been 30 minutes since Terry left. He wondered if he was okay going out on his own. Though, he shouldn't be worried for him because Terry is a big boy. He can handle himself. But the thought lingers in the back of Korvo's mind that Terry might be in trouble. 

Terry will be fine, Korvo thought. Then he hears the door open and close. "Korvo! I'm back, baby!" Terry shouted from the door. While he took the ingredients out of the bag, Korvo dragged himself out of bed, with the blankets around his body, to greet Terry. He looks up and sighs. "You're supposed to be in bed."

"Stop treating me like an old man." Korvo sat on the couch and turned on the TV. 

"I'm gonna start doing that if you keep acting up, old man." Terry teased. "But seriously though, you gotta stop stressing. I found a white hair."

"You're lying!" Korvo got up and went to the bathroom to see if Terry was lying. He wasn't. Korvo gasps at the single white hair on his black locks. 

Terry followed him to the bathroom. "It's not so bad."

"My life is over." he stared at himself in the mirror, the horror reflecting back into his eyes.

"Oh, my god. You drama queen." Terry grabbed the tweezers by the sink and sat Korvo on the toilet. He looked for the white hair and plucked it out, making Korvo flinch. "There. Happy now?"

Korvo looked in the mirror. "No, that means I'm gonna die soon."

"You're not gonna die." Terry laughed, feeling scared by Korvo's comment.

"I'm gonna rapidly age and die very soon."

"Korvo, you're only 25." Terry reminded his roommate. He crossed his arms. "I thought you were a smart nerd. You know that isn't true, right?"

Korvo knows that. He's thinking irrationally because of a single silver strand. Nobody in his family has gray hair at a young age. They were all carefree people who did what they loved and felt no stress, except his dad, who was always hard on Korvo. This made him stress over very small things, sometimes over something he has no control of. Like, the white hair. 

Terry held onto Korvo's hand as he flinched under his touch. He guides Korvo back to the couch. "Now, momma's gonna cook up something real nice for you." He skips happily to the kitchen and takes his phone out to look at how to cook this. 

Terry pulled out the ingredients and followed what the video showed him. He boiled some water and poured the rice stuff in. While it was taking time to get soft, Terry figured he'd cut the scallions. When Terry was cutting the onions, he saw the notification on his phone and it was from Terri. He winced at the pain coming from his hand. Looking down, he realized he cut his finger and it was bleeding. 

"Shit." He goes over to the sink and runs his finger under the water. It hurts, he thought. Dammit, Terri just had to ruin this for him. He never blocked her on anything because he didn't have the heart to do it. He wanted to keep her around for a while until he gets over her for real, but he knows that's unhealthy. 

Terry wraps his finger in a towel, but it was still bleeding. When he left for the bathroom, he hadn't realized the porridge was burning. It was only when he returned, he saw Korvo in the kitchen turning off the stove. Before he said anything, he glanced at the slightly brownish porridge. Terry frowns. 

"Dammit." 

"If you needed help, you could've just asked." It wasn't intended to be a scolding but Terry felt like it was. 

"You should be napping or something." Terry bumped Korvo so that he's in front of the stove. Korvo noticed the bandaid when Terry reached for the wooden spoon. 

"You cut yourself?" His eyes faltered. He couldn't help thinking that Terry hurt himself because he was trying to help Korvo.

Terry eyed his bandaid. "Oh, yeah. It's not a big deal." He smiles at Korvo. "You wanna kiss it better?" 

It was only a joke but Korvo took it seriously and held Terry's injured hand, giving it a kiss directly on the bandaid. Terry looked away as he blushed red. He didn't expect Korvo to do that. "Better?"

He nods. Terry needed to hurry to make Korvo better so he could finally fuck him without getting sick himself. Who's he kidding? He's probably already sick, then Korvo would have to take care of him. The thought makes him swoon.

Korvo made his way to the couch to watch some dumb show about stupid shit, while Terry continued to cook in the kitchen. He didn’t know what this feeling was in his chest. He’s even a bit sweaty from that encounter, but he’s sure that it meant nothing. They aren’t together, not even close. Friends could do that, right? Terry thought. 

After Terry was done cooking, he cringed at the gross light brownish slosh in the pot. He can’t believe he fucked up on this. It doesn’t even look pretty enough for Korvo. He stood there staring at the porridge and feeling bad for himself. He sighs, sucking up his failure and puts it in a bowl. 

He sets the bowls on the coffee table, hoping that Korvo would just back out and not eat his cooking. Terry sunk into the couch, embarrassed from burning porridge. Even he doesn’t want to eat it. “You don’t have to eat it.” He said. But he looks over to see Korvo nearly finished with it.

He watched Korvo eat the whole thing in just a few minutes. “Not bad.” He sets the bowl back on the table. “It’s a little burnt though.” He smiles.

They sat in silence while watching whatever was on TV. Terry grabbed his phone to see what Terri texted him about. She asked him if he wanted his stuff back. He doesn’t remember what he left at her place that was important to him. There were only a few times he slept over in secret. And they’d have her roommate go elsewhere. He thinks that Terri wanted to see him and he wanted to see her too, but Korvo needed him here. Glancing over at Korvo, he was on his phone as well. 

Korvo thought his relationship with John was over because he kept avoiding him, but today must be his lucky day. He texted Korvo. He wanted to know why Korvo wasn’t in class today. Korvo began to overthink things, like maybe John likes him again and they could go back to being friends since he asked about him. He answers his friend that he has a fever.

“I figured because you never miss class. Anyway, I took today’s notes for you. I can stop by to drop them off for you.” Korvo’s heart skipped so many beats when he read that. 

He didn’t try to contain his enthusiasm as his smile was so big that even Terry noticed. “Sure.” Korvo responded. 

“What’s going on there?” Terry asked, glancing from Korvo to his phone with strain in his voice. He was perturbed that whoever Korvo was talking to, got him to smile like that. 

“John finally talked to me.” Korvo beamed. “And he’s coming over.”

The last sentence echoed in Terry’s head. John must be Korvo’s source of heartache. He didn't know how to feel about John coming here, especially seeing Korvo when he’s sick. John might want to help Korvo. They might even start dating and Terry would have to be forced to drop their whole friends with benefits deal. He doesn’t want to give up their relationship because Korvo was good at sex. He pictured Korvo and John being happy together and having the best sex ever.

“Terry?” Korvo called.

“Yeah?” He pretended that he wasn’t just daydreaming about Korvo and John being a couple.

They looked at each other. Korvo was still clearly excited and Terry tried to match his expression, but his smile was strained. “You were-”

The doorbell rings. They both jumped. “I’ll get it!” Terry went to open the door. On the other side, was a guy who’s dressed similarly to Korvo, but he has a jacket instead of a sweater vest. He had pale skin and brown hair with big round glasses resting on his nose. Terry thought he was cute.

“You must be Terry, Korvo’s roommate.” He was holding a red notebook in his hand. 

“Yeah, come in.” He says between his teeth and opening the door wider for John to enter. 

John smiles, stepping into the dorm. He stops when he sees Korvo. He awkwardly rubbed the back of his head, unsure what to say next. Terry rolled his eyes and went into his room to give them some privacy. There was bitterness in Terry’s gut when he turned to see them together. 

“Here’s the notes for Chem.” John hands Korvo the notebook. 

Korvo takes it, his eyes still stuck on his friend. “Thanks.” 

John begins to sweat. He wasn’t only here for the notes. “Korvo, we need to talk.” He bursts.

When Terry got out of his room, he still sees the guy still here. Both of the guys were sitting on the couch, talking about something. Terry couldn’t hear what it was but he hated how they were really close to each other. He narrowed his eyes, anger growing as he watched them. Scowling, he made his way to the door. Terri has something of his. 

The anger died down when Terry reached Terri’s dorm across campus. He stood in front of her door, unsure why he’d come here. Before he wanted to see her, but that was before Korvo was simping for John. Now he’s here because he wanted to get back at Korvo, and he didn’t know why. Korvo didn’t do anything that upset Terry in any way, but he was still mad. The only thing he did was smile at John.

He wondered if they were going to date, then Terry would be alone again. Terry didn’t want to be alone. He forced himself to knock and then immediately regretted it when Terri opened the door. “Terry.” She had a soft smile on her face, the same one that Terry used to be in love with.

“Hey,” He did a small wave. He knew she had nothing at her dorm, but he still went inside anyway. 

The door slammed shut behind Terry as he held Terri in his arms, tasting her strawberry flavored lip gloss on his tongue. His heart sank further down with every kiss he gave her. She grabbed a fistfull of his light brown hair as they stumbled back against the door. Terry cupped her cheek, his green eyes meeting her brown ones. He thinks he doesn’t need Korvo to feel less lonely, he has Terri. 

They made their way to her bed, stripping away at each other’s clothes. Terri got on top of Terry, planting kisses all on his chest. She came back up, licking Terry’s neck and tasting the saltiness of his skin. “I missed you.” Her voice was hushed and raspy but in a sexy way. 

His dick slipped inside of her as she moaned. The pleasure of being filled up makes her wild. Terry gripped her hips as she rode him. Sitting up, Terry captures her lips again, then buries his face in her breasts, hugging her close. Her scent doesn’t feel familiar anymore even though he’s smelt it so many times before. Her lips still taste like strawberries, whether she wore lip gloss or not. 

The light from outside reflected on her brown skin. Terri always glowed so beautifully in Terry’s eyes. And he hates himself for finding solace in her. Her tongue tasted like cheating bitch and right now, he doesn’t care. He just wants to forget about Korvo and his new boyfriend. 

Terry quickened this thrust as he finished on her. He grabs a towel from somewhere and tossed it to her sweaty body. They laid in bed together as Terri snuggled against Terry. He reached behind her night stand and pulled out a joint from the bag that’s taped to the wood.. Opening the drawing, he pulled out a lighter and lit the joint. 

They smoked together. “Does this mean we’re back together?” 

He doesn’t answer. Instead, he breathes in the weed and exhales. Terri took it as a yes and kissed him on the cheek. 

When the sun went down, Terry returned back to his dorm to find Korvo still on the couch but this time John wasn’t here. Korvo scrambled to his feet to greet Terry, excited to tell him the news. “Hey, so John and I—”

Fearing what Korvo is about to announce, Terry interrupted. “Terri and I are back together.” 

Korvo’s face dropped. It was like ten thousand tons were dropped on him. A lump formed in his throat. “What?” He says in disbelief.

“Terri and I-”

“I heard what you said.” Korvo rubbed his arm, not wanting to hear it again. He bites the side of his cheek as he begins to panic, slightly feeling breathless. “That- that’s great. I’m happy for you.” He lied. He couldn’t even put on a fake smile for Terry because it felt like the room was closing in on him.

“What were you gonna say?” Terry asked, feeling slightly guilty for just dropping this bomb on him. 

Korvo takes a breath to finish what he’s going to say, but decides not to. Him and John becoming friends again is not as important as Terry getting back together with Terri. He flashed a sad smile and Terry noticed right away. He could tell something was wrong. “It’s nothing.” 

Taking a step forward, he touched Korvo’s arm but he moved away from him. “What’s wrong?”

Korvo takes a few steps away from Terry. He didn’t want to be around him right now. “Nothing. It- it’s nothing.” He moved towards the direction of his room. “I’m gonna go to bed. Goodnight.”

“Korvo, wait.” Terry follows him, but gets the door slammed in his face. He turned the knob to see that it’s locked. Terry groans to himself, leaning his head against the door. He fucked up. 

Korvo sat on the floor against the door, knees to his chest and his face in his palms. He’s such an idiot, to think that Terry would want to stay with him. Korvo had completely forgotten about his rule about no relationships, and it feels like he just got dumped, a second time. 

The next day, Terry couldn’t find Korvo in their dorm. He figured that he went to his class. Though, yesterday he still looked pale. He wonders if Korvo would be okay. When he left his dorm for class, he saw Terri again. Ever since they ‘got back together’, she’s been texting him a lot, acting as if she didn’t cheat on him. He’s been trying to avoid her. He didn’t want to get back together with her anymore but he couldn’t just say no after they fucked. Terry should’ve said no to her. 

“Terry!” She kissed him, but he didn't kiss her back. “Wanna go on a date later? We could go to the movies and watch your favorite movie, or you could come to my place.” She winked. 

“I’ll let you know.” That usually meant no, but she doesn’t know that. “I gotta get to class. See you later.” Terri frowns, watching her boyfriend walk away from her. She could tell something was off about him. 

The classroom was boring as usual, as Korvo tried to catch up with what he missed. His fever was still a bit high when he left the dorm. He thinks that it’ll be fine and by the end of the day, he’ll be better than ever. Boy, was he wrong. The second class, the one with Terry in it, Korvo couldn’t even keep his head up. His eyes felt heavy as he was lacking any energy to focus. His body grew increasingly hot and Terry noticed. 

Terry leaned over and whispered. “Dude, are you okay?” 

“Shut up, Terry.” Korvo breathed heavily as he wiped the sweat from his forehead.

“I’m taking you to the nurse.” Terry grabbed Korvo’s hand. Because Korvo was too weak to pull away, he ends up getting dragged by Terry. Once they were in the corridor, Korvo could barely stand. They weren’t even half way there and Korvo faints, falling to the floor. “Korvo?” Terry held him in his arms. “Goddammit.” He picks him up, carrying over his back. 

Opening the door to the nurse’s office, Terry sets him on the bed. “What happened?” The nurse asked, getting up to check on Korvo. 

“He has a fever.” Terry crossed his arms. 

“And he showed up to class?” The nurse sighs, getting stuff from a glass cabinet. Terry sat down on the chair in the room while he watched the nurse tend to a sick Korvo. By the time she was done, she turned to Terry. “Are you his roommate?” She points to Korvo.

“Yeah.” 

The nurse hands Terry a bottle of medicine. “He needs a lot of rest, so give this to him when he wakes up. I’m gonna head out, it’s my lunch.”

“Wha-” The nurse left before Terry could refuse. 

He scoots his chair closer to the bed. Terry sighs, using the back of his fingers to touch Korvo’s cheek. His skin was burning up. He wondered why Korvo was so mad at him and why he decided to go to class when he’s obviously still sick. Terry poked Korvo’s cheek, his finger sinking into his skin. His gaze moved to Korvo’s lips. He wanted to feel them again. 

So, he got closer to Korvo, feeling his breath on his face. Terry closes the space between them, then he feels Korvo humming into their kiss. He felt Korvo smile in the kiss as he brought a hand up to cup Terry’s face, kissing him back. 

Korvo opens his eyes to see Terry. His eyes widened as he accidentally headbutted him in the forehead. His head hits the pillow while he groans. “Terry, you son of a bitch.”

Terry held his forehead. “You headbutted me!”

Korvo sat up. “Why were you kissing me?”

Terry blushed. “Um, w- well,” He stammers. “W- why did you kiss me back?” He asked, completely avoiding the question.

He had a point. Korvo rubbed his head, the headache was still making him dizzy. “I just…” He trails off. He didn't want to admit that he thought about Terry since he's no longer available to him anymore. 

“You thought I was John.” Terry assumed, nodding his head. He snatches the bottle of medicine for Korvo and throws it at him. “Here. The nurse told me to give it to you.” 

He catches it. “Thanks.” He narrowed his eyes, confused by Terry’s sudden aggressiveness. 

“Yup.” Terry flashed a fake smile on his face. “Now, I gotta go. I have a date with Terri.”

A vein pops up on Korvo’s forehead. He’s going on dates with Terri after he just kissed him in his sleep. “Does she know about us?” Korvo gritted his teeth.

“How could she when there is no ‘us’.” The words burned on his tongue. That wasn’t true. He didn’t want it to be true. Then, he saw it, Korvo’s eyes softens as if he was hurt by this and he was. Terry knew it too. 

“You’re right.” Korvo got out of the bed, standing up to meet Terry’s gaze. “We are nothing more than just roommates.” He pushed passed Terry, bumping into his shoulder and left the room. 

Terry clenched his fist as his nails dug into his palm. It hurt Terry that Korvo said they were nothing more than just roommates, not even friends. It was true. Keyword: Was. Terry thought they had gotten closer to being friends, and going so far to vent about relationship stuff. He scoffed. Terry doesn’t have time to deal with this. As far as he's concerned, he has a date to attend to. 

Back at the dorm, Korvo couldn't stay there alone. Well, he can but he chooses not to. He called John up so he could take care of Korvo because he did offer to do that yesterday. And since Terry was busy fucking around with Terri, he could use a bit of comfort. 

John showed up to the dorm with a couple of beers to help Korvo with his fever, though it won't help him, but it'll make him feel less like shit about Terry. Korvo explained to John about his Terry dilemma. 

"I thought you didn't want a relationship." He says, taking a sip from the can. 

"I don't." Korvo crushed the can in his hand. He thinks back to Terry being with Terri right now, probably kissing or fucking. "Why is he with her again?" 

John raised an eyebrow. He kept quiet so Korvo could continue his rant. 

"She cheated on him and he was clearly upset about it." He wore a worried expression on his face. "He said he didn't want to break up with her in the first place. I kinda wanted our rendezvous to continue. Terry's pretty good when it comes to sex." Korvo's face flushed, remembering when they fucked in that guest room at Kim's. "I don't get why he's with her!" He threw his hands up.

"Okay, calm down." John puts a hand on Korvo's arm. "It seems to me that you've had a bit to drink." 

Korvo looks at the four crushed up cans on the coffee table. "I didn't have enough." He opens his fifth can of beer. 

"And I think you're jealous." 

Korvo chokes on the drink. "Jealous?" He wipes his mouth with the sleeve of his shirt. "I don't want to date Terry. In fact, I'm happy for him but I can't help but feel concerned." 

"Why?" 

"Because he's my roommate." Korvo answered, remembering what he said to Terry earlier, that they're only roommates. 

"Well, my roommate doesn't involve himself in my affairs. And you seem to want to be involved with Terry, if you're thinking that he shouldn't be with his girlfriend." He gulps down the beer. 

His face was getting hot again. Korvo was sure that his temperature went down. Touching his face, he realized he might be drunk. He thinks John might be right. What's getting into him? He shouldn't care about Terry and his girlfriend. That means he actually is jealous of Terry. "Why would I be jealous of Terry?" He asked, without meaning to.

"I don't think you're jealous of him. I think you're jealous that he's with someone." 

"Jealous that he's in a relationship because you think I want a relationship?" Korvo laughs, slapping his knee. "I don't do relationships."

John sighs, rolling his eyes. He likes Korvo but sometimes he can be a complete idiot. "No. I'm saying you have feelings for Terry." 

Korvo thought about it for a second, but decided that it can't be true. He's known Terry for four years and he's never found Terry attractive. It wasn't even that. There were no redeeming qualities about Terry that Korvo liked. But recently, he's seen Terry in a new light. Korvo thinks this new light must've altered his perception of Terry. But still, Korvo couldn't accept this. "Shut up, you psych major." 

"Ah, yes denial at its finest."

"Stop trying to analyze me, you weirdo." 

He laughs, patting Korvo on the back. "I'm not. You're just not as bright as you think you are." 

A frown appeared on Korvo's face. "So, what do I do?" He stares at the picture on the can in his hands.

"Do you like him?" 

"I don't know." 

"Then, I don't know how to help you." 

"What if I did like him? What do you think I should do?" He has to work with hypothesis here because Korvo wasn't sure if he liked Terry for him or if he liked the sex. All he knew that he wanted Terry's attention. 

"Simple. Talk to him about it." 

"What if I get rejected?" 

"Rejection isn't a bad thing." John says casually. 

"You're one to talk." Korvo frowned, referring to when John rejected him and then proceeded to ignore him. 

"I said I was sorry. I thought that you wouldn't want to hear from me, and then you chased me down the hall. I thought you were gonna beat me up for saying no." John chuckled at how silly the debacle was. "Every person I've rejected turned out to be crazy bitches. And I thought you'd turn out the same." 

Korvo joined his friend in laughter. "I'm not that crazy about you." He lied. Korvo was in love, but that's all over now. He's trying to move past it. He's just glad that he could continue to be friends with John. As much as he wanted John all to himself, he also didn't want to lose him as a friend. 

The beers were nearly gone, with only one left. John figured Korvo wanted it. Speaking of Korvo, he passed out on the couch after drinking so many beers. John barely drank any, but he's glad Korvo had fun. It was the least he could do to make it up to him for ignoring him. 

John wrapped the blanket around Korvo, then made his way to the door. Upon opening the door, John is met with Terry on the other side. "Oh, it's you." Terry sounded annoyed.

"Hello, I was just on my way out." John smiled politely. "Korvo passed out on the couch, but don't worry I cleaned the mess."

"Okay." Terry says, confused by that. 

"Goodnight, Terry." John patted Terry on the back and walked off. 

Terry walked into his dorm, shutting the door behind him. Immediately, he sees Korvo sleeping on the couch. His lips formed a thin line. He went into the refrigerator for a drink because he was dehydrated all day. There was a single can of beer in the fridge. He takes it out, and looks over to Korvo. They were drinking, he thought. 

He puts the can back into the fridge and goes over to Korvo. Terry thought Korvo never sleeps outside of his room or has anyone over. This was happening for real. Terry frowned. He reminded himself that they're only roommates, like Korvo said.

Terry placed his hand on Korvo's forehead to feel his temperature. It returned back to normal again. His hand slides down to the side of Korvo's face, then to his lips. He wondered if he kissed John. Suddenly, Korvo grabbed onto Terry's wrist. 

"Terry?" His eyes were squinted because the room was too bright for him. 

"Yeah, it's me." Korvo pulled Terry down onto his lap. "Korvo, what are you-"

He was cut off when Korvo kissed him, slipping his tongue into Terry's mouth. Terry was about to push Korvo away, but he waited too long for him to kiss him like this. Instead, he wrapped his arms around Korvo's neck. They fell back onto the couch with Terry on the bottom and Korvo was in between his thighs. 

Terry moans into the kiss. This was a lot better than his 'date' with Terri. They were at her place, watching a movie. The whole time, Terri was on her phone, smiling at a text someone sent her. She made the excuse that it was from one of her friends. Once upon a time, Terry wouldn't even question that, but now he doesn't trust her for a second. Their date ended when one of her "friends" called her to go to this book club meetup. Terry was so glad that their date was interrupted. He was starting to get bored and more anxious because Korvo was left alone.

Now, that he knew John was here, he couldn't help but feel unsettled. Korvo specifically made it clear that they're only roommates, but for some reason Terry wanted to keep Korvo in his arms. 

Korvo's hands made their way under Terry's shirt as he explored his skin. Korvo had the same eyes as he did from the night they first had sex, filled with lust and alcohol. There was a lazy smile on his face again as he bit onto Terry's neck and trailed kisses to his collarbone. "Korvo." Terry giggled as light touches tickled him.

Korvo pulled off Terry's shirt and continued to makeout with him. There was a certain hardness in his pants and Terry noticed right away. He began palming at Korvo's crotch. His breath hitched as Terry's lips met his again. Terry moved his hands to Korvo's pants, unbuttoning them. 

For a moment, Terry didn't want to think about Terri, or John and Korvo being a couple. He only wants to focus on Korvo. He knows he's gonna regret this in the morning. 

Terry had the pleasure of stripping away at Korvo's shirt, popping away at the buttons. He couldn't stop himself from gawking at his chest. Korvo watched as Terry trailed kisses along his chest while he tugged his pants down. Once the pants were off, Terry grabbed Korvo's raging boner, giving it a few strokes. He wondered how Korvo didn't have a whiskey dick. So far, he's been drunk twice when engaging in sexual activity with Terry. And Terry is impressed with Korvo's talent to stay hard after drinking so much. 

The boxers came off as Terry positioned himself so that he could suck Korvo off. He took the dick in his mouth, licking around the tip. With one movement, Terry deepthroated Korvo's cock. He moaned, his hand buried in Terry's hair. Terry smized at Korvo, enjoying his reaction to his dick sucking skills. 

Terry began to bob his head back and forth. With each movement, Korvo's dick hits the back of Terry's throat. He's glad he doesn't have a gag reflex, or else he'll enjoy this less. Korvo pulled his shlong out of Terry's mouth to enjoy the sight of Terry on his knees with strings of spit lingering between his mouth and Korvo's dick. There was a devious smile on Terry's face as he jerked Korvo off. Terry brought the dick back to his mouth, kissing the tip without breaking eye contact with Korvo. 

Impatience grew as Korvo pulled Terry off the floor and onto the couch. Terry bit his lip as Korvo had him bent over the sofa. The feeling was back again as delirium filled him while Korvo entered him from behind. Terry gasps, feeling Korvo's cock twitch in his ass. After adjusting himself, Korvo finally thrusts his hips forward. 

Terry dug his fingers into the couch, unable to contain his sounds, and neither could Korvo. Terry began to move his hips, matching Korvo's thrusts as he began to thrust faster into him. 

Korvo watched as Terry's body tenses up in front of him. Terry practically hugged the couch pillow as he came and rode out his orgasm. While Korvo took in the blurry sight of Terry cumming, he gave one last thrust and came with Terry. They both stayed like that, catching their breaths. Korvo leans down to kiss Terry's back.

They slipped their boxers on and layed on the couch together. They faced each other while Terry nuzzled Korvo's neck as he had an arm around Terry's waist. "My god, I missed this." Terry sighs. 

Korvo planted a kiss on Terry's lips. He didn't want to think about Terry being in a relationship with someone else. For tonight, he wanted Terry to be his. It didn't take long before both of them passed out on the couch.

The alarm was loud, blaring, and it wasn't Korvo's. Opening his eyes, the sun poked him, straining his sight. His arm felt heavy. When he turned to look at it, Terry was resting his head on his arm. He opened the blanket and found they both were in their underwear. Korvo sat up, pulling his arm from under Terry. 

Rubbing his head, he tries to recall what happened last night. He was talking to John and then he passed out, then he saw Terry. He remembers kissing Terry, then the entirety of them having sex came to Korvo all at once. His dick twitched in his underwear just from thinking about what Terry did with his throat. From beside Korvo, Terry slowly sat up and faced him but his eyes weren't opened yet. Korvo thought it was cute, and to top it all off, Terry had bed hair too. He leaned in to give Terry a peck on the lips. 

"Korvo." Terry smiles, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. He brought his arms up to stretch. "Man, last night was so good."

Korvo's dick grew hard from being reminded of what happened last night. He kissed Terry again but he's more eager and passionate about it. Terry touched Korvo's shoulders, feeling his bones. When Terry got hard, Korvo moved lower, planting kisses down his stomach.

Instinctive, Terry opened his legs for him as Korvo pulled Terry's hard cock out of his underwear. "What's gotten into you?" Terry breathes heavily, as the lust consumes him. His fingers disappear in Korvo's hair as he licks along the shaft and then the tip. 

Instead of answering, Korvo chokes on Terry's dick. The saliva escaped his mouth, coaxing the cock. He pulled it out of his mouth and stroked the member. "I didn't get to do this last night." He was back to sticking Terry's dick down his throat again. From time to time, he gagged on it a bit, making him tear up. 

Suddenly, there was a knock on the door. They both stopped. Terry had a worried look on his face as he eyed the door. Korvo ignored it and continued to suck, making Terry gasp. He glanced from Korvo then back at the door, hoping whoever was outside would leave. Then they knocked again. 

Terry bucked his hips as he used Korvo's mouth. When Terry was about to cum, Korvo picked up the pace, keeping his eyes on him. Terry grabbed onto Korvo's hair as he covered his mouth from moaning. He slightly pushed Korvo's head down as he released into his mouth. Korvo pulls away as Terry's dick is still twitching, and he swallows the load. 

The knock happens again. Terry pulls himself off the couch, his legs still feeling like jelly. He slipped his pants on and headed for the door, while Korvo went to his room. When Korvo was out of sight. he opened the door to find Terri. 

"Terri." He says, unenthusiastically. 

"Good morning, baby." She smiled. "Wanna get some breakfast together? Maybe some early morning shots?" She was referring to heroin shots. 

"Um," He glanced back into his dorm to see Korvo heading to the shower. He wanted to join him, so he could finish what Korvo started. "We could go out to lunch." 

"But I'm not available during lunch." 

"I'm sure you can… free up some space." Terry kept getting distracted by Korvo who was in the kitchen, looking for something to drink.

Terri looked down. "Okay. I guess I'll see you later, then." 

Terry closes the door on her, leaving her in the hallway. She takes her phone out to dial someone's number. While walking away, the person picked up. "Hey, babe. You still wanna have breakfast?" 

She smiled at his answer. 

"Yeah, I'll see you in a bit then. Bye." She hung up, then took her lip gloss out of her purse. She smeared the scented gloss on her lips and smacked her lips together. She hopes her new beau likes strawberries.


	4. Chapter 4

The time was 10:45 pm and Korvo still wasn't in his class. John was beginning to get worried because his best friend might be sick again. Just when he was beginning to lose hope, Korvo walked through the door and took his seat next to John. His hair was unkempt and he was growing a slight scruff. The buttons on his shirt were undone at the collar, his tie was crooked, and he was missing the signature sweater vest. It looked like he just had sex with someone.

"Hey, what did I miss?" Korvo leaned over, taking his notebook out. 

"Dude, what happened? It looks like you were attacked? Did a robber steal your vest?" John jokes as a chuckle escapes him.

Korvo smirked. "Yeah, you could say that."

John kept glancing back at Korvo while they silently listened to the professor and took notes. He wondered why Korvo was late today. It could've been from last night when they were drinking, but it wasn't enough to give Korvo a hangover. John squinted at Korvo's neck and saw a small bruise- Nor was it strong enough to give Korvo a hickey. 

John came to realize that Korvo had sex yesterday, or this morning, but with who? It could've been Terry. John doesn't doubt that it was with Terry. He sighs. Korvo was cool in his eyes, _and_ he wasn't still a wee virgin boy, like John was. He knows that Korvo fucks around from time to time, he only wished that he could be like Korvo. John just recently started dating this girl, and he wanted to keep it a secret until he knew where it was going before he tells Korvo. 

The class was over when the professor dismissed the students. John stops Korvo from leaving, by grabbing onto his arm. "Wait, do you wanna get lunch together?"

Korvo averted his eyes. "Um, I have a thing to go to." 

John narrowed his eyes as a playful smile grew on his lips. "Are you gonna go see Terry?" 

Korvo's face was noticeably red, his eyes roaming around the room as he stammers.

"So, is everything okay between you guys?" John tilted his head as they walked out of the room to let the next set of students use it. 

"For the most part, yes." Korvo checks the time on his watch. "I gotta go. We'll talk about this later." 

John watched as Korvo raced past people in the corridor. He's dumbfounded that Korvo doesn't realize he has feelings for Terry. 

The whole time during class, Terry kept glancing at the time on his phone or for any messages from Korvo. Earlier, he told Korvo to meet him on the roof in building C after class. He wished class ended early. But he has to be here because he's been missing his classes and his grades were dropping. 

When the professor dismissed everyone, Terry practically bulldozed through everyone, but he ended up bumping into someone. "My bad." Terry says in a hurry, then he realized it was Terri. "Oh, hey."

"Ready for our lunch date?" She beamed. Terry couldn't help but think that her smile was no longer real, that she cut out smiles from models on magazines and glued it to her face. 

He totally forgot about their lunch date. Tending to his own needs was more important to Terry than having lunch with Terri. "Um, I have a thing to do." He was becoming impatient because he didn't want to keep Korvo waiting. 

"But you said-" 

"Yeah, yeah. Maybe another time." Terry pats her on the shoulder, then he walks away from her, pushing past the other students. 

Terri frowned. She didn't need this. Taking out her phone, she texts her side piece. She knows he'll be available to her.

The sky today was beautiful and the breeze was cool. It made sense for it to be this chilly because it was well into autumn. Korvo liked the fall. It was always pretty and the leaves were beautiful during this time, even though they would die. He shivers, hugging himself. He should've brought a sweater. 

The door that led up to the roof swings open, making Korvo flinch from the sudden disruption of peacefulness. It was none other than Terry by the door. He closed it and dropped his backpack next to Korvo's. 

"Terry." Korvo's eyes were half lidded and he couldn't contain his growing smile.

He doesn't say anything. Instead, he goes over to Korvo and tries to fix his shirt and tie. Korvo watches him with soft eyes. He wondered if this was okay. They hadn't talked about Terri. He wondered if Terry would leave her for him. 

"You didn't have to fix it. Knowing us, it'll probably just-" 

Terry pulls on the tie, yanking Korvo to kiss him. Korvo caressed Terry's cheek as he deepened the kiss. He slips a tongue in as Terry moans into it. Terry backs him against the wall as he loosened Korvo's tie, but then he stops. Terry goes over to grab the backpacks.

Before Korvo could ask what Terry was doing, he was pulled behind a wall. The sound of the door creaked open as two men stepped out. "You're sure you heard someone come up here?" Said one of the guys.

Terry kept his eyes on Korvo as he pressed up against him. Reaching down, he undid the button to Korvo's pants and slowly lowered the zipper. Trepidation arises when Korvo notices Terry getting on his knees. They hear the skidding of shoes as the men walked around to look for them. 

As Terry was about to pull Korvo's boxers, Korvo grabbed onto both of his wrists, stopping him from doing so. Terry furrowed his brow, pouting that he isn't getting what he wants. A thought popped into his head as he smiled. Korvo was still watching the guys from behind the wall when Terry used his teeth to tug on the band of the underwear. He accidentally bites Korvo's skin, making him hiss in pain.

"You bitch." Korvo mouthed as he released his grip on Terry's wrists.

Terry had the same devious smirk on his face, the one that Korvo enjoyed. He glanced back at the two men, then back to Terry. They won't know if they're really quiet. Korvo pulled down his boxers and grabbed the back of Terry's head with him still looking up at Korvo. He slid his dick into Terry's mouth, and bit his lip to suppress a groan. 

Korvo used his hand to move Terry's as he pleases. Terry was enjoying this as much as Korvo was. He had to make sure not to make any sucking noises while he's at it. 

"Welp, there's nothing here." Both Korvo and Terry jolted, startled by the two other men still on the roof. "Let's go. I have a dentist appointment."

Korvo and Terry stayed still as they listened to the men leave through the metal door. Korvo sighs in relief. Terry moves Korvo's hand away and worked on his dick with his mouth. When Korvo came close, he pulled Terry away from his dick and off of the ground. 

Both of their pants were off as Korvo picked Terry up against the wall. Korvo rested in between Terry's legs as he positioned himself to enter him. He held onto Korvo as he thrust into him. Terry wrapped his legs around Korvo's waist as he kept moving. Thank god, Terry was light, especially for a lanky guy, or else Korvo would've dropped him a few minutes ago. 

Terry pulled Korvo into a kiss again, intoxicating himself with his tongue. Korvo held Terry by the knee armpits while he increased his thrusts, making Terry cry out in pleasure. They both tensed up as they came in unison, moaning while they did it. 

Korvo sets Terry back on his feet. They both looked down at their shirts because they felt a wet spot. "Aw man, this is my favorite shirt." They both said at the same time. They blushed having just jinxed each other. 

They both dressed themselves and went over to the door, sitting beside it. Korvo had an arm around Terry's shoulders as they both enjoyed the outdoors together.

Though, this wasn't as peaceful as they would like. There was still an elephant in the room that they've been avoiding to address. Neither Korvo, nor Terry wanted to mention it for fear that what they had would be ruined. Korvo knew it was bad, but even Terri doesn't deserve this. She doesn't deserve Terry. In some way, Korvo feels like he doesn't deserve Terry either.

Terry is filled with guilt every time he kisses Korvo but that's what feels fun about it, that he belongs to someone else. He does feel bad for John though. If anyone was more deserving of Korvo, it would be John. They're practically perfect together, they even dress the same. There was still the situation with Terri that Terry doesn't even want to think about. He knows that infidelity is bad, but she cheated on him first. He's unsure if he still wants to be with her. He went to her because Korvo was with John but Korvo was still messing around with Terry. He began to think that Korvo might like him. 

But Korvo doesn't do relationships, the thought popped back into Terry's head. Terry is okay with being with him like this, being only his fuck buddy, but what if the time comes when Korvo wants more than just that. He does have John. John, he thought. Stupid, perfect, cute John. Damn his cute face!

Terry held onto Korvo's arm. He doesn't want to let go of him. They both had this secret to hide from their significant others. It is something special to Terry.

And so, their little engagement continued the same for a month. They'd meet up, have sex, but as their meetings continued, they grew apart. The pleasure soon became pain. Whenever Korvo mentions John, Terry would become jealous again, and he'd find solace in Terri.

This relationship had made Korvo exhausted. Their arrangement was supposed to be nothing more than two people who want their needs satisfied, but it's become an emotional entanglement of selfish people who want the other to themselves. As they keep seeing each other, Korvo grows more bitter in his heart and he's really good at hiding it. Terry always seems to remind him that he's with Terri. It puts Korvo in a difficult situation because he doesn't want to keep doing this behind her back, but he doesn't want to lose Terry either. 

Today, Terry was supposed to go on a date with Terri. They were gonna go to a skating rink with some druggie friends. Terry wanted to stay home with Korvo, but ditched the idea when he found out that he and John were going to study together. 

Now, he's in skates in the rink while Let's Groove by Earth Wind & Fire blasts through the speakers and Terri was holding his hands while singing to it. He smiles, remembering how cute she can be. 

He spun her around and dipped her. The way the light hits her face perfectly has him lost in her beauty. He wondered where did it all go wrong with her. Surely, she must've loved him too, even if they never told each other that. There's no other reason for her to want him back or for her to be in his arms right now. Terry was happy being with Korvo, but he doesn't want to let go of Terri yet. After pretending he wants to be with her, Terry is beginning to grow attached again, even if he has no use for her besides the drugs and consolation. 

Terri reached up, cupping his face and pulled him down so she could kiss him. His fingers were lost in her hair as he closed his eyes and kissed her back. Melancholy was the perfect word to describe what Terry feels when Terri kisses him. Who knew the taste of strawberries and a pair of soft lips would make a man miserable. 

At the end of their date, Terri brought Terry over to her place to smoke some. He finds himself on top of her, kissing her, trying to take back what he lost from her, his heart. Her eyes were still the same, still welcoming and deceitful. He always knew she had a dark side, but he didn't know that dark side would want to hurt him. The soft touches she'd trace over his skin would cut him, leaving another scar as a reminder of how much it hurts him to be with her. Every kiss his mind would scream at him, telling him to stop. And Terry never listens.

He wraps a hand on her waist. He didn't realize how big his hands are compared to her. Terry tried to recall why he was still with her if she makes him feel like shit. The phone on the nightstand lights up indicating she has a text. Terry tries to see who it was from but the drugs made his vision blurry. Terri grabs him by the chin and forces a kiss on him. 

"My lips are right here." Her lips grazed his own as she spoke. 

Terry kisses her to shut her up, then moves to her neck. He doesn't bite her because he doesn't want any traces of himself on her. From how Terry saw it, Terri wasn't his anymore. 

One of her legs was hooked around his waist as he thrusts into her. His name and her moans fills the quietness of this room. Terry blocked out every logical thought from his head and distracted himself with only Terri. Her company was better than the doubts in his head, especially most of them were about himself and her. 

When they finished, Terri was already dozing off. That was what Terry was trying to go for, since he won't be staying the night any time soon. He needed to get home to Korvo. 

As Terry got up, Terri held on to his hand. She did this before too, when Terry hadn't found out she cheated. Basing it off of his memory, he copied what his memory told him. Terry leaned down to kiss her. "I'm not going anywhere." Back then, he told her the truth. Now, there was no truth. 

When he was sure that Terri was asleep, he slipped out of the bed and put his clothes back on. Swiftly, he went out the door. He doesn't look back. 

The air outside was cold enough for Terry to have goosebumps growing on his skin. He rubbed his hands together for warmth. This thin sweater wasn't helping him one bit. Rushing into the building, he quickly made his way back to his dorm. He opened the door to find the place empty and the lights were off. He thought that maybe Korvo was out. Shutting the door, he sees the light coming from under Korvo's room. Terry turned on the lights in the dorm and went over to Korvo's room to find it locked. He must've been studying all day. 

Terry knocked on the door but there was no response. He was getting worried. Staring at the light emitting from his room, Terry knocks again. "Korvo?"

Terry pressed his ear against the door to hear what's on the other side, then he hears groaning and feet shifting. The door swings open as Korvo looks at Terry with an annoyed/tired expression. "What do you want?" He croaks.

"Were you sleeping?" Terry asked, embarrassed that he was overreacting for no reason.

"I think? I didn't know I passed out." Korvo yawns, waving his hand in front of his face. "So, what have you been up to?" He leaned against the door, his cheek touching the wood and his eyes were closed. 

Terry smiled at his roommate's sleepiness. He thought it was sweet of Korvo to ask about his day even when he's tired. "Do you want to sleep? You seem tired." 

"No, no. Keep- keep talking" Korvo leaned against the door, smacking his lips together and dozing off. 

"Okay, you know what-" Terry grabs onto Korvo's hand, slightly waking him up again, and guides him to his bed. He covers Korvo in his blanket as he blinks slowly until his eyes close completely. Terry giggles quietly when he sees Korvo's mouth slightly agape. Then the smile disappears. "I'm not happy with Terri. I don't know why I got back together with her." He rubs his arm, looking away from Korvo as he confesses. "I know you don't want a relationship, but I'm at my happiest when I'm with you. I don't know what to do." 

Terry looked over to Korvo and he was still passed out. A thin line formed on his lips. He leans down to kiss Korvo on the cheek, getting him to moan in his sleep. 

Terry leaves his room, closing the door behind him. 

There was a party at Richard's house, but it was a drive away and Terry was obviously interested. He never misses a party. When he asked Korvo if he wanted to join, he declined. 

"Aw, c'mon Korvo! It could be fun!" He tried to convince him so he doesn't go alone. "Remember when we first made love?" Terry crawled on top of Korvo, tipping the book he's holding away from his face. 

"Yes, I totally remember, considering I was blacked out drunk and high while we did it and you had to remind me what happened." Korvo moves the book back into his sights. 

"C'mon, Korvo. For me?" Terry pouts, batting his eyes at him. "What do I have to do to make you come?" His lip twitches at the pun he just made. 

Korvo grabbed Terry's shirt, and pulled him into a kiss, then pushed him away. "Literally nothing, because I'm still not going." 

"Korvo!" Terry whined in his lap, having a tantrum on him. "Please!" 

"Why do you want me to go?" Shouldn't you ask Terri to go, Korvo thought. 

"Because…" Terry wanted Korvo to spend some time with him that isn't at home, but he can't tell him that. "I need a designated driver and you're the most sensible person I know." He played into Korvo's ego. 

Korvo narrowed his eyes. Terry was right. Nobody is more sensible than Korvo. He's glad that Terry realized this. "Fine." He closes his book. "You're paying for gas though."

Later that day, Terry was all dolled up while Korvo was still in his school clothes. "You don't have anything else to wear?" 

"I'm your driver, not your date." Korvo crossed his arms. 

"Okay, okay." 

Korvo grabbed his car keys from the bowl on the table by the door. Terry followed him outside to the car. Terry slipped into the passenger seat as Korvo started the engine. 

They drove in silence, but Terry started to mess with the radio because he grew uncomfortable with their silence. When they drove up to the house, there were rave lights coming through the window. The house was huge, mostly white and there were people outside drinking and smoking. 

Korvo parked down the street and Terry got out of the car. He was jumping and clapping his hands from excitement because he hadn't been to a party ever since he hooked up with Korvo. When they approached the house, a limo showed up and strippers came out of it. Korvo and Terry gawked at the women. This party was already going great. 

When they entered, they're met with flashing lights and music so loud that it was just noise. Korvo covered his ears as they got to the center of the party. The strippers that entered had their own stripper poles. Korvo thinks that this is actually a club instead of someone's house. 

Terry pulled Korvo to a bar they had in the house. How can someone afford this, Korvo thought. 

"Two tequila shots, please." 

Korvo touched his roommate's arm to get his attention. "Terry, I'm not drinking, remember?"

"They're not for you." The drinks were in front of him in a second. He winks at Korvo as he downs the first cup. He made a face as the drink went down his throat. 

"You're gonna regret that later." Korvo said, referring to the drinks. 

"What would you like to drink, sir?" The bartender lady asked. 

Korvo eyed her sleeve tattoos. "Water." He answers. "Nice tattoos, by the way." 

"Thanks." The bartender smiles as she grabs a bottle of water from the fridge for Korvo. 

Terry shook Korvo's arm. "Korvo, should I go for Vodka?"

"I don't know, do you wanna forget about tonight?" Korvo shrugged.

Terry held onto Korvo's hand, his warm fingers meeting Korvo's cold ones. "No, that's why I have you to remind me." 

Korvo blushed, snatching his hand away. "Well, I'm not the one drinking tonight." 

Instead of the vodka, Terry saw someone drinking something fancy. It was a pink drink and he wanted it. "I'll have what that guy's having." He pointed to the man. 

The bartender returned with the fancy drink, topped with a straw. The bartender moved away to tend to someone else at the bar. Terry sipped it, tasting the fruity flavor of the alcohol. He glanced at Korvo who was eying everyone on the dance floor. 

Terry nudged Korvo with his elbow. "You wanna dance?" 

"I wanna go home, Terry." Korvo snaps at him, with a frown so distinct that someone here might think he's a cop.

Terry scowled at Korvo, annoyed that he's ruining the night. "Then why did you come? You could've said no."

"I want to keep you safe." Realizing what he just said, he looked away, embarrassed. 

Terry's eyes softened as he reached to caressed Korvo's face. "You didn't have to be so mean about it." 

Korvo shuts his eyes, leaning into Terry's touch. "I know. I'm sorry." 

"Eugh, get a room, you two." The bartender teased. 

Terry smiles while sipping his drink while Korvo covers his face from blushing. When Terry was done with his drink, he ordered another one, then another one, and another one. Soon Terry was leaning his head on Korvo's arm, holding it close to him. 

They watched the DJ play his music as the smoke machine made the dude look way cooler. Terry pulls Korvo by the arm away from the bar but he doesn't budge. "C'mon, Korvo let's go! Let's gooooo!" Terry whined. 

Korvo rolled his eyes and stood up, letting Terry drag him to wherever he wanted him to go. "Where are we going?" Korvo asked, watching Terry from behind. 

"It's a secret." Oh, great this again, Korvo thought while smiling. He liked this game. They went to take empty seats on these fancy round couches. A waitress lady, holding a tray with rows of cocaine on it. "Oh, cocaine!" Terry went over to snort some, then he came back to Korvo, like an obedient dog without a leash.

"That's the secret?" Korvo asked, tilting his head.

"What secret?" Terry answered, already forgetting what he was about to do. "Do you have a secret?" 

Another waitress shows up with more tequila shots on a tray, and Terry steals them, downing the two he stole. Korvo touched Terry's shoulder. "Don't you think you've had enough to drink?"

"No!" Terry says too loudly. "Don't be a party pooper, Korvy." 

Korvo smiles at the nickname. 

Terry's head sways from side to side. "You said something about a- a secret?"

"No, you said something about a secret." Korvo reminded him, enjoying the sight of how adorable Terry was being while he was drunk and high. 

"Nuh- uh." He shook his head, breathing in Korvo's face. 

"Well, if you wanna hear my secret you're gonna have to earn it." Korvo tapped a finger on Terry's nose. 

"I wan know." Terry slurred his words as he pouted. 

Somewhere away from the party where the music was quieter and the lights weren't intense, Korvo had Terry against the wall, his lips were planted on Terry's. The pace was slow between them as they were enjoying their makeout session. Korvo could taste whatever Terry was drinking before. 

Though he wasn't supposed to be under any influence, Korvo got himself intoxicated with Terry's lips. He wondered how they were so soft.

Terry had his hands on Korvo's chest, feeling where his nipple would be. Korvo smiles into the kiss at how silly Terry can be. Terry pulls away looking into Korvo's blue-gray eyes. He licked his lips when he glanced at Korvo's lips. 

Korvo's eyes soften as he gazes at Terry. There were stars in his eyes. He feels his breath hitting him in the face, smelling like alcohol. He caressed Terry's face, cupping his cheek. "I know I said I didn't want a relationship, but I think I might be falling for you. It sucks having only sex with you, especially since you're with Terri."

Terry nods, keeping his eyes locked on Korvo's. 

"But I know that you love her. I'm scared, Terry. I want you to love me too." Korvo strokes Terry's hair behind his head. "We've only been doing this for a month and a half, and I think I want more with you. I need to know, would you choose me?" 

Terry leans forward. "Kor-" He bends over and pukes on Korvo's shirt. 

Korvo groans, looking up at the ceiling. He wasn't much of a believer, but he still asked. Why god, he thought. Because it's for my amusement. 

He rubs Terry's back while he continues to vomit the meal he ate earlier out. "Let's hope you won't remember this." 

"I sorry Korv- Korvo, what w-wwere you sayin'?" Terry wiped his mouth with his shirt. 

"It's nothing important." He says. 

Terry looked at Korvo's shirt to see the vomit stain. "You have a little…" He points to the vomit.

"Yeah, let's get you home." He held Terry's hand, pulling him as they walked to the exit. 

"I dun wanna go. I wanna make love." 

"We can make love at home." 

"Really?" Terry's face beamed as they looked for the car. Terry hugged Korvo from behind. "I love you, Korv!" 

Korvo's heart raced hearing Terry say that. He was kinda hoping that Terry didn't pay any attention to his confession or maybe forget about what he said. As much as he liked Terry, he didn't want to ruin what they already have. He's afraid his feelings might drive Terry away, like it did to John. He felt Terry nuzzling the back of his head with his face. "I love you too." Korvo says quietly. 

"Huh?" Terry called out, loudly. 

"I said the car is over there." Korvo pressed the little button that lit his car up. 

"Hell yeah, shotgun!" Terry raced to the car, opening the passenger door and sat in it. Korvo got to the passenger side to buckle Terry up. "I'm gonna s- s- suck your cock."

"You're not putting your mouth anywhere near my dick, vomit boy." Korvo closed the door and walked around to the driver seat. 

Korvo rolled the window down to get rid of the stench of stomach bile exuding from his shirt. He would've worn a shittier shirt if he knew this was gonna happen. Terry gazed at the moon in the sky.

"It's pretty." He complimented the moon.

Korvo glanced at Terry. "He really is." 

By the time they got home, Korvo had to carry Terry over his shoulder because he passed out in the car. Once they were in the dorm, Korvo laid Terry in his bed, and stripped him down so he could put him in his pajamas. Then, Korvo went into the bathroom to change out of his gross shirt and take a shower. 

He returns to find Terry still snoozing, and snoring loudly. Korvo cracks a smile. He turns Terry over so he doesn't vomit in his sleep. 

Korvo leans down to give Terry a kiss, but when he does, Terry wraps his arms around Korvo's neck. "Make… love." He mumbles in his sleep. 

Korvo rustles Terry's hair. "Maybe later." 

"Mm-mmm." Terry moans in his sleep. "Promise..." 

"Promise what?" Korvo asked, playing along with Drunk Terry's games. 

Terry sighs into his words. "Promise you won't… leave." 

Korvo wondered what he meant by that. He wouldn't leave Terry, he doesn't dare himself to do that. "I promise." He kisses Terry on the forehead, and waits until his grip on Korvo loosens. He sets Terry's arms beside him as he gets up to leave. 

Korvo leaves Terry's door open.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just realize there's prob a sex scene every chapter haha i'm a pervert


	5. Chapter 5

Winter break was coming close. Well, it’s not, but Terry was still counting the days to the mostly miserable weeks in his life. When Terry was with Terri, he’d go to her house for the holidays because Terry didn’t want to be around his own family. But now, it seems like he has no other option than to go home.

She was laying beside him in bed, facing away while she was on her phone. Terry didn't care who she was talking to anymore. He's pretty sure he's the side ho while she's talking to her main bitch. She doesn't smile at him the same way she smiles at her phone.

Terry's more concerned about Korvo. He finds himself thinking about him more and more. The sex was always good, but they hadn't spoken for a while. They hadn't had a real conversation with each other. And Terry misses talking to Korvo. He finds himself confessing to Korvo while Korvo was in a deep sleep or when he's too drunk to even remember the next morning. Drunk Korvo was good at comforting Terry with sex and fake I love you's. Terry liked to pretend those were real, but in reality he knows that Korvo doesn't feel that way.

How could Terry be deserving of Korvo's love when all he's doing was two timing him and Terri. And he can't even tell him how he feels because he knows that Korvo wouldn't want him back, not the way Terry wants him. 

"Terry." Terri called, staring up at the ceiling.

Terry turned to her. Her face lacked any trace of emotion. This usually happens when she's mad. Today wasn't the case. She was devoid of any feeling for Terry. She thought that she could love him, she wanted to love him, but after two years she could never say the words. Then she tried to find someone that she could love. It almost worked until Terry found out.

When she saw him at Kim's party with Korvo, she was jealous because she thought Terry didn't care about her. Then a thought occurred, that she must love him if this bothered her. The next day, she dumped her boyfriend and went for Terry, hoping that he would forgive her. He never did.

Even now, when she has him in her hands, her heart still felt it was lacking something that Terry could not give her. She was afraid that she didn't have the ability to love. After she got back together with Terry, she was off finding someone who could teach her how to love. And this one might be it.

Terry sighs. He wanted to tell her how he feels, that he's not happy being with her. He wants to move on.

"I want to break up." They both say. Startled by this, they sat up.

They stammer at the same time. Then Terry stops himself. "You first."

"I don't think it's working out. I'm sorry, Terry. I really wanted it to work, to fix what happened between us." She grazed his cheek with her cold fingers. "I hope we can still be friends."

Terry was more than excited to hear this. "Of course. I've been thinking the same thing."

"Wanna have a little break up sex?" A silly smile was plastered on her lips.

"Fuck yeah." He rolled on top of her, kissing along her jaw.

They giggled into their kiss. And the whole time, Terry gave his best because this was the last time he was gonna be entangled with her. He can't help feeling a bit blue because once upon a time, he did love her. They shared so many memories together and now he gets to move on. He won't feel guilty anymore when he's with Korvo. 

He cupped her breasts. This is gonna be the last time he's ever gonna touch these bad boys. She laughs, bringing herself up to meet his lips again.

When they were done, Terry was hesitant to say goodbye, knowing that it's the last one. He purposely puts his clothes back on slowly just to enjoy his time around her. Sure, she said they'd be friends, but he didn't know if she meant it.

"See you around. " He waves at her by the door.

"See ya." She has a small smile on her face. She was going to miss him too.

Then Terry closed the door. He stood there for a second longer as people walked passed him. Taking a moment, he smiled to himself as if the weight of the world had been lifted off his shoulders. He walked away. Korvo was waiting for him.

Korvo sat at the diner with John, and listened to how John was talking about why humans do the things they do. It wasn't the most interesting thing in the world, but he was happy John wanted to share this with him.

"I've been running my mouth this whole time." John says as guilt struck him. "How are things with Terry?"

"We're alright." Korvo says, unenthusiastically.

"Did something happen?" John raised a brow, worried that Korvo might have issues with Terry.

"Nothing happened, and I think that's where the problem is." Korvo admits. "Don't get me wrong, the sex is great, but sex is all we do."

"Isn't that what friends with benefits do?" John sipped his Pepsi.

"Yes."

"I'm sensing a but."

"But, I think I want more?" Korvo blushed. He never admitted this to anyone before, besides Terry but that doesn't count because he was blacked out drunk. 

John gasps, clasping his hands together. "Oh my God, Korvo. This is huge!" That's what she said. 

Korvo ran a hand through his hair. "I know, but it's complicated."

"Did you tell him?"

"No." He grew uneasy, distracting himself with the picture of the pizza man with a top hat on his cup.

"Why not?"

"He…" Korvo couldn't tell him that Terry was cheating on Terri with him. It'll somehow spread and Terry will be mad at him and won't talk to him anymore. "He likes someone else."

"And yet he's still fucking around with you?" John picked up a french fry and stuck it in his mouth.

"I did say it was complicated." Korvo drank his Dr Pepper.

"You like him, right?"

"Yes."

"Then I say you take him out on a date." John leans in on the table and points a French fry at him. "Get him to fall for you. You're already fucking anyway, so he knows that you're good in the sack. Now, you just need to show him that you're also boyfriend material."

"John, you're a genius. Wait, I don't want him to think I'm boring." Korvo rubbed his chin, and squinted his eyes as he thought of a way to be less boring. He glances at John who was significantly more boring than him. Nobody wants to hear about psychology stuff. "We should do a double date."

John nearly spat out his drink.

"We could invite that girl from class to be your date!"

"Um," John uttered, awkwardly poking his fingers together. "I already have a girlfriend."

Korvo froze. "John, why didn't you tell me?" He pats his friend on the back. "I'm happy for you. When- when did this happen?"

"About a month ago." John smiles, remembering his girlfriend's face.

"And you hid this from me for a month?" He runs his fingers through his hair again. "You'll finally get laid!"

"Well, that's not why I'm with her." John mumbles. "I didn't tell you because I didn't know where it was gonna go."

"Well, I'm happy for you." Korvo rested his back on the seat, slouching in it.

"Thanks. Are we still doing the double date?" John blushed. "Because I really want you to meet her. She's so smart and beautiful." Korvo watches as John simps for his girl.

"Of course, we're still double dating." Korvo chuckles. "Maybe you could give me a few tips since you got into a relationship before me."

Once they finished up, Korvo went back to the dorm to find Terry in the hallway about to enter the room.

"Hey," Korvo blushed.

"Hey." Terry smiles, doing a small wave.

When the door closes, they both say at the same time, "I have to tell you something."

They chuckled. "Um, you first." Terry says.

"John invited us on a double date." Korvo lies smiling and holding his hands together.

"A double date?" Terry crossed his arms. "What, like, you go with John and I go with Terri?" His voice choked up as he spoke. He can't believe he broke up with Terri to come home to Korvo still crazy about John. Well, it was a mutual breakup.

"What? No. We go together and John brings his girlfriend."

He didn't hear that correctly. John was dating someone that isn't Korvo. "Girlfriend?"

"Yeah. It's gonna be tomorrow night at the arcade." Korvo casually explained. 

There must've been something Terry missed beside he was sure that John and Korvo were a thing. But he has a girlfriend now? He wondered if they broke up or something. "Wait, hold up. Weren't you and John a thing?"

"No." Korvo says slowly.

"But when you had that fever and John was here, you were about to say that you and John were dating."

"No, I was gonna say that we're friends again, but you interrupted me with your announcement that you and Terri are together." Korvo frowned as a vein popped on his head for having to think about Terri.

"So, this whole time, you weren't dating John?"

"No, I was with you." Korvo went to go take a seat by the counter as Terry followed him, still processing. "You know John's straight, right?"

Terry forgot that little detail when Korvo was venting to him when they first hooked up. That means this whole time Terry was with Terri for no reason. He feels like such a dick and an idiot. If only he had listened to Korvo, then they wouldn't have had this passive-aggressive behavior towards each other. 

Terry began to laugh. At first it was silent chuckles then it became a full blown shout laugh. "I need to go to bed." He trudged to his room. This must be some fucked up god's work. And it is.

The next night, Terry got himself dolled up for Korvo. But he thinks he might be overdressed. The knock on the door startled Terry as Korvo told him to hurry up. Terry stripped out of the fancy clothes and into something casual. He doesn't want to look like he's trying too hard on his first date with Korvo. He blushed, looking in the mirror. _His first date with Korvo_.

Opening the door, he sees Korvo standing outside. He took a long gander at Korvo's clothes. Korvo wore the sweatshirt that Terry gave to him when he was sick, another bigger sweater over it, jeans, and sneakers. This was a sight to see. Korvo in anything other than suit clothes and dress shoes.

Terry smiled. "Why does it look like you're dressed for the winter?" He goes over to Korvo.

"It's gonna be cold. You know I get cold easily." Korvo says as they make their way to the door.

When they made it to the car, there was this overwhelming thrill in the air. Terry's face began to hurt from how hard he was smiling. They'd steal quick glances at each other as the music played faintly in the car. Korvo reached to hold Terry's warm hand. It was his source of heat tonight.

Once they found a parking lot, Korvo held Terry's hand as they entered the arcade. Korvo texted his friend where he was. They were in the seats in the far back. Terry giggled as Korvo led him to the seats that John picked out.

When John saw Korvo he waved for him to come over. Korvo and Terry drawed near as John got up and held his girlfriend's hand. When she stood up, both Korvo and Terry's jaw dropped. She soon matched their expression too.

"Guys, I'd like you to meet my girlfriend, Terri."

The three of them were speechless and shocked. And John noticed.

"You guys all look like you've seen a ghost." John commented. "Wait, do you guys know each other?"

"Uh." Terry glanced at Korvo.

"Yeah!" Terry says, making Korvo and Terri snap their necks at him. "We know her from a friend, which reminds me, our mutual friend wanted her to know something."

Terry grabbed her arm and led her away from John. Korvo followed after.

"What the hell, Terri?" Terry whisper-yelled at her.

"Believe me, I am just as surprised as you are." She crossed her arms, vexed by this coincidence.

"Were you with him the whole time we're together?" Terry asked, clearly pissed.

"No." She lied, rolling her eyes. "Okay, yes. But you can't give me shit when you were fucking your roommate! I saw you both at Kim's party together. And I know you've been hiding something from me every time you ditch me with your lame excuses."

Korvo grimaces at her, coming close with a threatening aura. "I swear to god, Terri, if you hurt John-" Terry stops Korvo from moving any closer.

"Look, Terri. I can handle getting backstabbed by you, but John? Really?" He held onto Korvo's arm. "He's obviously a soft dude."

She groans, rubbing her forehead with her finger and her thumb. "You ever wondered why I wanted to break up with you yesterday? It's for John. I like him, okay?"

"Wait, you guys broke up?" Korvo asked, captivated by this newfound information.

"Yeah." Terri said.

Korvo turned to Terry. "Why didn't you tell me?"

John approached them as they tried to act natural. "You guys ready to buy some tickets?"

"Yes!" Terry says, loudly. "Let's go get some tickets, Korvo!" He dragged Korvo by the arm, while Korvo narrowed his eyes at Terri, doing the I'm-watching-you gesture.

They went to wait in line for tickets. Korvo was watching Terri and John the whole time. Terry held Korvo's hand to calm him down. "I can't believe this."

"Calm down, Korvo."

"How can you be so calm after what she did to you? She might do the same to John." Korvo tapped his foot against the rugged floor.

"Look, I'm not thrilled that she's here either." Terry rubbed Korvo's arm. "But are you gonna ruin John's date just because you don't like Terri."

Korvo sighs. "No." He unfurled his brows. "Why didn't you tell me that you guys broke up?"

"I was going to, but I was shocked. A hard realization hit me yesterday." Terry confessed.

"Oh, yeah? What was that?" Korvo asked.

Before Terry could answer, the ticket person called them up. They paid for their ticket card and went back to join Terri and John. The first thing they did was get drinks at the bar. Korvo couldn't relax with Terri there. He was cautious for John.

Terry had to move Korvo's face to make him look at him because he noticed that it made Terri uncomfortable. "Can you please behave?" Terry asked, while looking Korvo in the eyes.

"Hey, I haven't said or done anything yet." Korvo argued.

"Korvy, you're looking at Terri funny. She's gonna start pressing charges if you don't stop." Terry whispered, glancing at Korvo's lips.

Korvo smiles. He loves when Terry calls him that. "Keep talking like that, and I'm gonna have to excuse myself to the men's room."

Terry tilted his head, baffled by what Korvo just said. "What does that mean?"

"If you wanna know, you'd have to come to the bathroom to find out." He winked at Terry.

He smirked, leaning closer so no one else could hear him, but Korvo. "Right now?"

Korvo kissed the corner of Terry's lips. "I wanna enjoy our date without the sex first, then maybe later, I could… put my mouth to good use."

Terry blushed at the comment. His pants grew tighter with the thought of what Korvo would do to him. He's not used to Korvo dirty talking to him, but he sure does like it.

Before Korvo could finish his beer, Terry dragged him to one of the games displayed in the arcade. He challenged Korvo to see who could score more points. Korvo never backs down from a proposal, so he accepts. Terry beat him in only a few minutes. Soon, the group found a four player game in this booth. It was a game about shooting aliens.

Korvo fought Terry in Fighters 'n tha Street. Stupid name for an arcade game, but regardless they had fun. Korvo was calculated the whole time because he can't afford to lose to Terry again. He doesn't want Terry to think he's bad at video games, even though he kinda is.

Terry watched as Korvo tried to beat John in the basketball arcade game. And he won. Korvo looked at his hands with his newfound victory. He thinks he's good at basketball.

They go over to the racing games. Terry pulled Korvo over and the other couple followed behind. The four of them play, having teams of two. It was Korvo and Terry versus Terri and John. They all put their tickets in at the same time. Once they choose their character, their players line up on the starting line.

Once the numbers counted down to one, everyone in their little cart stands slammed on the gas, making their characters accelerate. Terri takes the lead while Terry's in 4th place. Korvo is in second and John is in 5th place. John bumped Terry out of the way and took place in 4th.

"John! What the fuck!?" Terry yelled.

They entered a sharp turn and Korvo cuts in front of Terri, taking the lead. Terry bumped his car in the rear of John's car, knocking him out of the way and rushing past him, taking his place in 4th again.

"Hahahaha!" Terry laughed. "See ya, sucker!"

"Son of a bitch!" John had been placed in 6th place because of Terry.

Terry got up to 3rd place, just behind Terri. He drove next to her as Korvo slowed down. They planned to sandwich her. When Korvo and Terry matched Terri's speed, the finish line was just a few meters away. Korvo turned into her and they both knocked Terry's car into the wall. Terri banged her car into Korvo's, and Terry pushed Terri and passed her into the finish line.

"Yes!" Terry threw his hands up in triumph with Korvo cheering with him.

Korvo and Terry got up and high-fived each other. They had played almost all the games in the arcade, but when it came to Dance Dance Revolution, it was Terry's turn to verse Terri.

Terry and Terri had a one vs one on Dance Dance Revolution. John and Korvo made a bet to see who would win. John betted on Terri while Korvo betted on Terry. In the end, Terri out danced Terry. And Korvo had to pay up.

"Nobody can beat the dancing queen!" Terri screamed, raising her arms. Then she started singing the chorus to Dancing Queen by Abba. John cheered and went over to hug her.

Korvo snickered, leaning towards Terry. "You tapped that."

"Don't remind me." Terry says.

They walked around some more to find another game to play. A certain game caught Terry's attention. "Hey, we should go see that zombie game over there." He points to the zombie shooter game. It looked like a picture booth. They all went to it and found that it only has two seats. "Aw, there's only two seats."

"You guys can play while John and I go over there. " Terri pulled John over to a photobooth.

Korvo and Terry looked at each other as Terri and John watched them from afar, standing there awkwardly. Terry was the first to break the silence. "Let's go in!"

Korvo opened the little flap and waved for Terry to go in. "After you."

Once they've taken their seats, Terry puts in a ticket and the game begins. In the front are miniguns attached to the tables. The screen shows the NPC giving the players a mission. However, the player with more kills gets more coins.

"I hope you like the taste of my dust!" Terry trash talked.

"Please, I'm gonna be the one to carry you through this." Korvo shoots the zombies, gaining more coins than Terry.

There was a zombie that jumped out at Terry and he screamed while shooting. They cleared the first mission and they waited for the next level to start. The booth became dim as the screen loaded.

Terry took a deep breath and closed his eyes, before he makes his confession. "Korvo, I have feelings for you. I want us to be more than friends, who have sex." He spoke carefully, as they waited.

Korvo's face became hot when he realized what Terry was saying. He was overwhelmed that Terry reciprocated his feelings without knowing it. "I feel the same. I want to be more than friends, who have sex, too." Terry smiles at the way he phrased his words. Korvo leans in to caress Terry's face. The game has already started and they're still looking at each other.

The zombies scream in the background, as Korvo leans in, pressing his lips on Terry's. He kisses him back slowly. They finally pull away when the speakers tell them that they've died in the game.

After several games later and a plushy machine, where Terry rigged the machine to give them extra plushies, they went out for some grub. They all sat together at this diner, eating pizza and drinking soda like a bunch of regular college students.

"So, what are you guys all doing for break?" Korvo asked.

Terry averted his eyes, clearly uncomfortable with the question. Terri noticed immediately. She poked John's legs, catching his attention and gave him a look, then glanced at Terry. She wanted John to take Terry.

John, being good with cues, got up and said, "Man, I need to use the restroom. Let's go. Terry." He grabs Terry's arm and drags him to the bathroom in the diner.

Terri smacked Korvo's arm. "What the hell is wrong with you?" She asked, clearly annoyed.

"What? Your boyfriend stole my date. I'm the one who's supposed to be mad." He answers, rubbing his arm.

"Why would you ask what we're all doing for break? You know, Terry hates that." She says.

"He does?" Korvo didn't know that about Terry. As a matter of fact, he doesn't know much about Terry. He doesn't know his interests, or hobbies, or what his favorite color is.

"Just avoid the question. And when break happens, take him with you. Trust me on this."

Korvo's eyes faltered. "Why should I? All you've done was lie to him. How do I know you're not lying to me?"

"Because I've been with him for two years and you've been with him since this morning." Korvo had to admit to himself, she was kinda right. "If you care about him, just do what I say."

"Why can't he go home?" Korvo asked out of curiosity.

"That's not for me to tell." She flipped her hair and glanced over to see John coming back. "We never had this conversation." She whispers to Korvo. "Hey, babe." She greeted John.

"How was the bathroom?" Korvo asked, pretending he wasn't just talking to Terri.

"Great. I was kidnapped and you didn't help me." Terry says, unamused.

"I wanted to show him my favorite pins." John says. He didn't have any better reason to keep Terry company in the bathroom, considering they don't know each other that well.

Terri giggles as John slides back into the seat in front of her. "Your pins are very nice, babe." She smiles.

Terry cringed. And he thought _Korvo_ was the nerd in the group. He glanced at Terri, thinking that as much as he loved drugs, he loved Korvo more. He just admitted to himself that he loves Korvo and he's still sober. What a day.

"So, did you guys do it yet?" Korvo asked, sipping his nearly empty cup of Dr. Pepper.

John blushed, dread on his face. He didn't think Korvo would be so open to ask that, especially in front of his girlfriend. "Um…" They glanced at each other. "No, not yet."

"We're waiting for marriage." Terri joked as a wide Cheshire smile appeared on her face.

"Really?" Terry raised a brow. "You didn't mention this when you were with-"

Korvo covered Terry's mouth, stopping him from finishing the sentence. "The bible, because… religion." Korvo finished, letting go of Terry.

"She was joking." John chuckled. "I'm just not ready yet."

Terry began to think that Terri has a fetish for boring guys. The guy she cheated on him with was much more of a snore than John, but still, pretty boring. Terry thought that maybe he's boring too, which is why Terri said yes to him when he first asked her out.

"That's cool. Take your time, there's no rush." Korvo says. "I didn't lose my virginity until sophomore year of college."

"Haha, nerd." Terry laughed.

"Oh, yeah? When did you pop your cherry?" Korvo narrows his eyes.

"When I was seventeen," Terry answered.

"You did it while you were still going through puberty? I feel bad for the poor sucker who had to look at you." Korvo laughed.

Terry slammed the table with his fist as his face grew red. "Shut up, Korvo!" His voice was higher.

John and Terri laughed as they watched the two guys banter at each other. This was going well for them. John didn't know why Korvo was so stressed out in the first place. He always knew they had good chemistry, besides the sex.

John felt like his mission for tonight was done. He helped Korvo. Turns out, he had nothing to worry about. Terry was clearly in love with him. If only Korvo knew that too. "We're gonna head out." John stood up as Terri followed him to his side. "Make sure you two lovebirds make it home safe." He turns around and walks away.

When John was out the door, Terri faced Terry. "Thanks for not telling him about us."

"Yeah. John's a good guy." Terry says. "Don't fuck it up."

Terri looks at Korvo. "You know, you don't threaten me." She says with a fake smile. "Also, the feeling is mutual." She was referring to Korvo disliking her. "Bye Terry, Korvo." She turns on her heel and leaves.

They were supposed to be driving back to the dorms but Korvo missed the turn to the campus. Terry swallowed. He thinks that Korvo is gonna kill him, like in every college horror movie. "Korvo, where are you going?" Terry sunk into his seat.

"Far out."

They drove in silence again as fear crept up his shoulder. He had to keep reminding himself that Korvo isn't going to kill him. He knows Korvo, at least he thinks he does.

Eventually the drive came to a stop and they were on a cliff. Korvo gets out of the car and walks over to Terry's side. Terry opened the door and Korvo held his hand out for him to take. Becoming at ease for a bit, Terry takes it and gets out of the car.

They go over to the fence that separated the edge of the cliff and the space off the cliff. "Wow." Terry looks over the view of the city, the lights twinkling like stars within reach. "This is so cliche."

Korvo blushed, rubbing the back of his head. He wasn't much of a romance dude. He had to google How to Be Romantic just to get a sliver idea on how to be the perfect boyfriend. "Terry, could we talk about what happened in the booth?"

Terry clearly remembers what happened in the booth. He nods.

"You want to be… together, for real?" Korvo's face was hot from a plethora of emotions, of which those are ranging from extreme nervousness and excitement.

"Are you gonna set some rules again about us being together again, like when you did when we started fucking?"

Korvo narrowed his eyes. He thought about it for a second. "N-no. I was gonna say we should stop our 'engagement'."

"What? Like, you don't wanna have sex anymore?" Terry crossed his arms. "Oh, man. I mean, I guess I could do that. It's gonna be hard though since you have so much sex appeal. God, I'm gonna miss you giving me head-"

"Oh, my- I wasn't talking about that. I meant our deal, you know? No more friends with benefits with me or anybody else." Korvo laced his fingers with Terry's. "And no more secret girlfriends."

"It wasn't a secret if you knew about it." Terry scoffed. "Why didn't you say anything if you wanted me?"

"Because you loved her." Korvo spoke as if it was the most simple answer in the world.

"You're wrong. I- I…" Terry closed his eyes, preparing himself to confess to Korvo. "The reason I went back to Terri was because-" Terry opened his eyes to find Korvo's gentle blue ones staring back at him. A soft sigh escapes his lips. "because I thought you loved John, and that you were together."

He thought back to when Terry had that realization. Korvo realized it too. There were no words. There couldn't be. This whole time Terry wanted Korvo to himself, and he wanted him too. Korvo caressed Terry's cheek. "You dummy." He kissed him.

Terry pulls away. He laughs, rubbing his head. "At least we won't be seeing Terri any time soon, and we can finally be together for real. Isn't that romantic, Korvo?" He swooned, embracing Korvo's arm.

"It was until you ruined it." Korvo jokes.

"Aw, c'mon! Don't be like that, Korvy." He laughed.

Little did they know, they'll be seeing her again soon.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw: abuse

The weather has gotten significantly colder as the days passed. This was the last week before break and Terry still doesn't know what he should do. Korvo hasn't asked him to come home with him yet. Why would he? They've only been a couple for a month now, ever since he ditched Terri for him. Terry doesn't expect Korvo to bring him. 

To be honest, Terry was afraid because he didn't want to go home to his fucked up family. He knows they'll try to "beat the faggot" out of him, as his dad likes to put it. This was because Terry brought home a guy when he was eighteen, his first boyfriend. 

Last time he went home he came back with his face fucked up and a broken arm. Terri didn't know at the time because Terry wasn't open about his abuse at home. Every break ever since they got together, she'd bring him along with her. 

Terry had to catch up on his classes again. He even had to spend alone time in his room studying for tests, going so far to avoid Korvo because he knows it'll distract him. He had to start staying in the library until it closed just to get his paper finished. Tonight was one of those nights where he stayed out late.

Terry hadn't realized the place was empty until the security guard told him to leave. Now, he's out in the cold, walking to his dorm with a handful of books and his backpack containing his laptop. He pulled his scarf over his nose while he picked up the pace. 

He opened the door to his dorm to find Korvo in the living room, speaking loudly on the phone with someone in a different language. Korvo turned to see Terry hanging up his jacket and setting his books on the counter. Korvo smiled at Terry and finished what he was saying. He ends the conversation with a "bye."

"I didn't know you spoke spanish."

"It's Portugese." 

"I didn't know you were Portuguese."

"Brazilian." He corrected him.

"Really? I always thought you were black."

"I am." 

"Anyways, I missed you." Terry went over to hug Korvo, and gave him a peck on the lips. Korvo snaked his arms around Terry's waist. "So, what were you talking about?" 

"It was my aunt. She wanted me to visit her for the holidays. She said my dad was gonna be there." Korvo says, still holding his boyfriend. "I don't have the best relationship with my dad."

"You and me, both." Terry says, groaning. 

Korvo wondered what he meant. Korvo thought about the conversation he had with Terri a chapter ago. He dismisses it. If Terry wanted to open up about his family, then he would. "Terry, I want you to come with me." 

Terry's heart skipped a beat. This was what he was waiting for this whole month. This was like getting proposed to. "I'd love to!" He covers Korvo's face in kisses, making him chuckle. 

By the end of the week, Terry got his overall grade back from his classes. He's definitely going to graduate this this year. After Korvo was finished with all of his classes and bid farewells to John, he and Terry went to pack most of their belongings and headed their way to the airport. 

Terry couldn't stop shaking his leg while waiting for the plane. He began biting his nails again from how anxious he was. This was a big deal to him because he was meeting Korvo's family. They might not accept him. They might think he's too basic, though he's clearly not. They might not accept Korvo for dating a guy. 

Korvo glanced at his boyfriend, noticing that he's clearly uneasy about this trip. He was starting to think that Terry didn't want to go with him. Korvo only followed what Terri said, and he also didn't want to be home with his family alone, especially with his dad, who he knows is gonna try to avoid him. But this was the first time Korvo was going to see his dad after 4 years without contact. He wonders if his father misses him. That would be the funniest joke anyone has ever told him.

Instinctively, Korvo grabbed onto Terry's hand. These feelings of inadequacy still haunt him. His father always seems to get his way with him, even now.

Once they were called for their plane, they didn't let go of each other's hand. 

The weather was perfect for a drive, or so Terri thought. As much as she liked John, she couldn't have him meet her family yet. She still hasn't broken the news to them that she and Terry broke up. 

Lucky for Terri, she lived in the same state so driving to another city wasn't as bad. Having to see her old friends again was definitely a treat. She spent so much time around junkies that she forgot how to be normal again. 

Terri finally arrives in her hometown. The place still looked like a general suburban neighborhood. She remembers how all the white kids in the neighborhood would make fun of her because she's black, and it didn't help that all the black kids didn't hang out with her because she was too light. There were hard times being both colors. She wonders why her sister never moved from here. 

Knocking on the door, Terri's oldest sister, Manny, opens it to greet her. "Terri!" Manny hugged her. "How's my baby sister?" 

"Just fine." She dragged her luggage into the house. 

Terri's second oldest sister, Jack, shows up from the kitchen chewing nicotine gum. "Oh, shit! Terri!" She came up to Terri, examining her. "Wow, you're still so ugly."

"Shut up, Jacky. Your breath stinks." Terri playfully punched her shoulder. She turned to Manny, asking, "Did you call mom yet?"

"She's on her way." Manny went to go close the door. Terri struggled to bring her luggage up the stairs. "Oh, lemme help you." She runs over to help Terri. 

Once they were up the stairs and loading Terri's stuff, she quickly ran to the bathroom. Something is wrong. Locking the door behind her, she pulls up the seat and vomits up her last meal. "Oh no."

She sat on the toilet, checking the calendar on her phone. Her last period was a month ago around the time her and Terry broke up, and they had their break up sex. She buried her face in her hands. This can't be true.

Terri still hadn't spoken to anyone in the house yet as she raced to the local drug store. She hopes she still knows the way. 

Upon returning home, she went back into the bathroom again. She had to be sure. It could've been something that she ate that made her sick. It has to be a coincidence. There's no way she's pregnant with Terry's baby.

Holding up the test after peeing on it, it showed the cursed two lines. She's pregnant. "Oh, my god." She breathed as her eyes filled with tears. Just when she thought she'd never see him again. Tossing the pregnancy test in the trash bin and covering it up with toilet paper, she decided no one in her family should know about this. Terri stared at herself in the mirror, holding her stomach. Glancing at the space on her abdomen, she thought there's something inside of her. She couldn't have been more scared. She'll tell Terry when the time is right, but right now, she has a family to attend to. 

Korvo and Terry sat in the cab together, still silent after the airplane ride. Terry was nervous about meeting Korvo's family. Korvo was nervous about seeing his dad. 

The cab drove up to the house that was all too familiar to Korvo. He spent a lot of time here. His aunt practically raised him and his sister, along with his cousins. They got out of the cab and stood in front of the house for a while. Terry noticed how anxious Korvo looked. Korvo would've turned away and gotten a flight back to the campus if it weren't for Terry, who grabbed onto his hand, snapping him back into reality.

"You okay?" Terry asked. 

Korvo nodded. He wasn't okay. 

They went up to the door and rang the bell. Immediately, they were met with Korvo's aunt. "Korvo!" She smiled brightly, bringing him into a hug. She had an accent when she talked. "And who's this cutie?" 

"This is my boyfriend, Terry." Korvo introduced, trying to put on a smile.

"Terry!" She hugged him too. "Welcome to the family! Come in, come in!" 

They entered the house as Korvo's aunt yelled something in Portugese. The cousins came over, yelling, "Korvo!" They all had accents in their voice. Korvo held Terry's hand as he guided him through the family to go upstairs to his room. Then Korvo sees a certain someone that makes him stop in his tracks. 

"Hi, Korvo." She waved, looking up at him. 

"Cassandra." Korvo says. "Excuse me. You're in my way."

She frowns, stepping to the side. She watched as Korvo pulled Terry upstairs. 

"Aw, he didn't get to introduce his boyfriend." One of the cousins says. 

"That's his boyfriend?" The other says. "The boyfriend could do better."

"Wait," They turned to Cassandra. "Didn't you have a crush on Korvo?" 

"Shut up!" She stomped away, jealous that Korvo has someone else, and a guy, no less. 

Terry sat on Korvo's old bed, examining the room. The bed frame was in dark wood, the bed sheets were black, almost everything in the room was black. "Did you have a goth phase or something?" Terry asked. 

"No. Black was my favorite color. And it was cool when the lights are on." Korvo explained as he went over to the closet. 

"But the lights are already on." 

"Not those ones. These ones." Korvo grabbed a wire from the closet and connected the outlet from the wall. The room lit up in an array of colors from the frame of the window and the bed. 

"Wow." Terry gasps. 

"Yeah." Korvo rubbed his head, a blush crept on his face. He goes into his closet again and pulls out a small robot. It had a sticker on it that said Friendbot. Korvo brought it over to Terry. After adjusting some of the wires, the robot lit up. 

"Oh my god, that's so cute!" 

"Hello, I am your friend." The robot said. 

"It's a bomb." Korvo says casual.

"What! You made a-" Korvo covered Terry's mouth. 

"Shh, the walls have ears." Korvo whispered, letting go of Terry's mouth. "It was a bomb. I deactivated it before leaving." 

"Why were you making bombs?"

Korvo awkwardly touched the back of his neck. "It's embarrassing."

"I won't tell anyone."

"Okay, it was for my dad." Korvo says. 

"You were trying to kill your dad?" 

"No, I wanted to show him that I could be a great scientist too." Korvo says. "But he didn't like it. He tossed it in the street and then it exploded." 

"Yeah, because you gave him a bomb." Terry laughed.

"He did worse." Korvo disassembles the robot. "On my tenth birthday, he got me physics books. I told him I wanted a bike. He said, 'the bike isn't gonna make you smart.' Well, neither did the book I couldn't understand. Then, at one point, I wanted to be like him, to finally gain his affection. So, I started pursuing science at the ripe age of 13. He still wasn't satisfied." 

"Aw, Korvo." Terry got up on his knees on the bed to hug Korvo. "I'm satisfied with you."

Korvo wrapped his arms around Terry's waist and leaned in to kiss him. Terry giggled into the kiss as he got on top of Korvo, straddling him. His hands were lost in Korvo's soft hair, messing it up. Terry pulled the buttons open on Korvo's shirt and kissed past his lips to his cheek then his jaw. 

Then there was a knock on the door. Korvo jumped. He groans as Terry giggles, getting off of him. Korvo gets up and cracks the door open. 

"What do you want?" Korvo was clearly vexed by the interruption. 

Cassandra blushed at Korvo's disheveled appearance. His shirt was slightly opened at the collar and his hair was tousled. "Your sister is here." Cassandra says, holding her hands together. 

"Gross. Well, I'm kinda busy." He closes the door but Cassandra stops him.

"Don't you wanna see her?" She wanted to get Korvo and Terry away from each other. That means they can't be alone together. 

"No?" He says as if it was a question. 

"Don't you think you guys should make up? It's been seven years since you guys have been fighting." Cassandra tried to convince him. 

"If she wanted to make up, she would've come up here herself." Korvo says, then shuts the door and locks it. 

Cassandra sighs, going back downstairs. "What did he say?" His sister asked. 

Korvo sighs, rubbing his forehead with his fingers. 

"What's wrong?" Terry asked, a concern expression on his face.

"Family stuff." Korvo takes a seat next to Terry.

"Is it your dad?" Terry tilted his head. 

"Worse. It's my sister. She's here."

"You have a sister? Wow, I'm learning so much about you." Terry rests his cheek on the palm of his hand. "Wait, I have something to ask you. Why don't you have an accent?"

"Because I hang out with white guys like you." Korvo answers casually, while crawling on top of Terry. 

"You know, that explains a lot." He ran his hand up Korvo's thigh. "Am I topping this time?" 

Korvo doesn't answer him, but instead he plants a kiss on Terry's lips. They fall onto the bed as they make out. 

The bed creaked as it banged into the wall, practically shaking the whole house. When they were done, they fixed themselves all nicely. Once they got downstairs, the whole family was silent and embarrassed. 

"What's going on?" Korvo asked, pretending he didn't just get fucked by Terry. 

"Next time you decide to have sex, could you guys be quieter?" The eldest cousin says. 

Terry blushed, touching his arm. "Sorry." 

Korvo just remembered that he forgot to introduce Terry to his family. "Guys, this is my boyfriend, Terry."

"Yeah, we know." One of the cousins says. 

Korvo's sister comes out of the kitchen and immediately sees her brother. "Korvo." she says.

"Bitch." He calls. 

"Is that any way to talk to your sister?" She had an accent when she spoke. Terry took a good look at her. She looked similar to Korvo, same light brown complexion and same colored eyes. Her curly black hair was held back together with a hair tie. 

"I wasn't talking to my sister. I was talking to this- this heathen!" Korvo shouted. 

"You take that back, you bitch!" She pointed a finger at him.

"Why don't you go fuck the neighborhood, Kira? Nobody wants to hear from your whore mouth." Korvo yelled, his accent slipping as he spoke.

"Fuck you!" She shouted. It was only one time that she dated almost all the guys in the neighborhood, at the same time. 

"I hate you!" He gritted his teeth. 

"You're the reason that mom-" 

"Pare!' Korvo's aunt shouted, shutting them both up. She said something in Portugese. I don't know what it is, but it's somewhere along the lines of, "Stop fighting, we have a guest. Kira, go take a walk." 

"But he started it!" She pointed at Korvo.

"Kira!" 

"Yeah, Ki-ra." Korvo mocked, his hands on his hips. "Go take a walk." 

She narrowed her eyes at him as she left the room. 

"Sorry, you had to see that." Korvo whispers to Terry. 

"It's fine." He says. Terry had never seen Korvo so unhinged and childish before. It was a sight to see. He's never gotten Korvo pissed off before, but he was willing to just to hear him slip up and talk with an accent. 

Then Korvo proceeded to introduce his family to Terry. They all liked him, some even thought he was cute. Everyone liked him, except for Cassandra, Korvo's childhood friend. She had no idea that Korvo liked men. It was all coming to her, all those times she made a move on him and he would avoid her. 

Everyone was laughing, having a good time until it was quiet. Korvo immediately realized why when he turned around. He was face to face with his father. He had a long black jacket on while holding a suitcase. He was home from work as a college professor at a college here in Massachusetts. 

"Dad." Korvo breathed. 

"Korvo." He spoke in perfect English.

Terry was appalled because Korvo's dad looked exactly like Korvo, except he has darker skin, hazel eyes, and a clean mustache. He was also taller than Korvo. Now, he knows where Korvo gets his good looks from.

Korvo froze in place, not knowing what to say or do. He hadn't planned on what to tell him. He can't just say, "Hey, dad. Why aren't you proud of me?" Or "Sorry for being such a disappointment." Or "Why can't you forgive me?" 

Instead of saying anything, he just left out through the back door. When he was far enough, he went over to his favorite tree. There used to be a tree house up there where he and his cousins would hang out. Burying his hands in his hair, he screamed, then punched the tree. He cringed at the pain in his knuckles. He feels so dumb. His father must think he's an idiot.

"What did the tree do to you?"

Korvo turns to see his sister. "Oh, it's you."

"You think I'm someone else?" She grimaced. "It's your fault, you know. That's why dad hates you."

"Shut up." He crossed his arms, reminding himself that Kira is always trying to get into his head. 

"You killed mom."

Her words stabbed a hole through him. It doesn't matter how many times he's heard her say that to him. It always hurts. He began trembling.

"You think dad's gonna just forgive you?" She came closer to him. "Mom's killer? Don't make me laugh. He didn't even want you here."

"Korvo?" They hear Terry from a far. 

Kira grimaces, then turns faking a smile. "Hi!" She walks over to him. "You must be Korvo's lover. " She went to shake his hand.

"Yeah, I'm Terry. " He kept his eyes on Korvo. 

"Well, Terry, I'll leave you with my brother. He's kinda upset. Be careful with him." She says, moxie in her voice. Patting him on the shoulder, she disappears back into the house. 

Terry came up to Korvo, hugging him from the back. "Korvo, are you okay?" He felt Korvo trembling. "Hey," He says softly, moving to face him.

Korvo's eyes were filled with fear and panic. "It's my fault." He covered his face with his hands. 

"Hey," Terry uttered softly, holding onto Korvo's arms. "Look at me."

Korvo's hands fell from his face, a sad look on his face. "I'm sorry." 

"No, no. It's okay." Terry wrapped his arms around Korvo's neck, as he buried his face in Terry's shoulder. 

"I killed her." His words were muffled into Terry's shirt. "I killed her."

Terry didn't know what he meant by that. He should be scared, thinking that Korvo had killed a person, but he wasn't. He didn't care. He loved him enough to stay right beside him.

After Korvo calmed down, they sat together on the swinging bench over by the garden. Korvo leaned his head on Terry's shoulder. Their fingers interlocked together as they swung. 

"You wanna talk about it?"

Korvo stayed quiet for a while. He kept it in for too long, left with the burden of the death of his mother. "My mom died while giving birth to me and that's why my sister and my dad hate me. I tried so hard to make him proud because begging for forgiveness isn't enough for taking the life of his wife." He said, rubbing a thumb over Terry's hand. "I went to the classes he chose for me because I thought it would make him happy to be like him." 

"It's not your fault, Korvo." Terry turned to kiss Korvo's forehead. "Things like this just happen beyond our control." 

Korvo teared up. No one's ever told him that before. "Thanks, Terry." He wiped a tear. 

"I was watching your dad when I was inside. He seems to be a quiet man who keeps to himself. I think you should talk to him." 

Korvo thought about it. He'd never really spoken to his father about anything. Korvo had to find out what sex was from porn because his dad was too busy to be home to tell him. When he was a kid, he thought that his dad lived in another house because he was too angry with him to live under the same roof. Korvo thought that his dad only came to visit his sister. He doesn't blame him though. He'd be mad if the love of his life died at the hands of a newborn child. 

They went back into the house to see that dinner was ready. Everyone gathered in at the table, joking and laughing, being a family, until Korvo's dad spoke.

"So, Korvo, how's college?" Mister Korvo asked. Yes, Korvo's dad is named Mister Korvo. 

"Uh, good."

"I take it you did well on your finals." Mister Korvo didn't bother looking at him. 

Korvo didn't say anything and the table was quiet again. Kira broke the silence by talking about her new husband, but the aunt silenced her, asking, "Is that the fourth one this week?"

Kira scoffed, crossing her arms. She hated Korvo for this. 

After dinner was ready, they had a bonfire outside in the cold before it was too late. Korvo stood by his father's study, watching him read a book on the single couch. 

"You can come in, son." Mister Korvo says, his eyes never left the book. 

Korvo walked through the door and stood behind his father's chair. "Hi, dad."

"You didn't come here to say hello, right?"

"N-no." Terry stood directly outside the room, listening in on Korvo. "I wanted to talk."

"So, talk." He doesn't move from his spot.

He stood there, trying to find the words to convey how he feels. All these years of the disappointed stares and very little conversation has led up to this. All of the burdens placed on him when he was only a child and all of his feelings of guilt and sorrow bunched up into a giant ball. "Dad, why don't you love me?"

Mister Korvo looked up from his book and turned around. 

Korvo flinched as he averted his eyes to look at his shoes. "I know, I'm not the greatest but I'm trying. I took the classes you wanted me to take. I took up science just like you and you're still not happy with me."

Mister Korvo got up from his seat and moved towards Korvo. 

Korvo began to sweat as he talked faster. "You can't hate me forever. I'm your only son." Korvo looked up when he saw Mister Korvo's shoes within reach, tears were in his eyes. "It's not my fault that mom died!"

Korvo met his father's eyes. For the first time, he saw a hint of emotion and it was sadness. He doesn't say anything. Instead, he pulled Korvo in for a hug. "I don't hate you, Korvo. And I'm very proud of you. I'm proud of what your mother and I made." He spoke softly. "I picked your classes because I thought that's what you wanted to do. I didn't know you wanted to do science because of me. I'm sorry I haven't been the best father."

Korvo hugged his father back as he let his emotions out and cried on his shoulder. 

"Don't blame yourself for your mom's passing. I know she wouldn't want to have it any other way." Mister Korvo patted him on the back as he cried. 

Terry smiles from the door. 

"Oh, and Terry, was it?" Mister Korvo lets go of Korvo as Terry jumps from his name being called. 

Terry peaks from the side of the door frame, slowly moving into Mister Korvo's view. "H-hey." He waved.

"Take care of my son." Mister Korvo smiles.

Terry smiles after seeing Mister Korvo smile at him. "Will do!"

Korvo went over to Terry as he said, "make sure to use protection."

Korvo stops as he blushes. "Dad!" He turned and scolded his father. 

Mister Korvo laughed as Korvo grabbed Terry's hand and stomped back into his room. He slammed the door shut and leaned against it. "See? That wasn't so bad." Terry says. 

Korvo touched his face, trying to bring himself back to reality. He never thought that he'd ever talk to his dad like this. Mister Korvo was the kind of man to show that he cared, even going so far to be a bit harsh. Korvo never understood that as a child. To top it all off, Mister Korvo smiled for the first time. "He smiled. He never smiles." Korvo breathes.

"I told you everything would be fine." Terry snaked his hands up Korvo's arms, gazing into his eyes.

Korvo lost himself in Terry's eyes. "I love you." Korvo didn't realize he said the words until Terry widened his eyes. His face grew hotter. "I- I mean, I-" 

He moves in quickly, kissing Korvo before he makes a fool out of himself. "I love you too, dummy."

Korvo leans in again to capture Terry's lips. As they make out, they slowly made their way to the bed. They tore away the articles of clothing as they got to it. Korvo laid on the bed with Terry on top of him. 

"Am I topping?" Terry kissed along his chest. 

Korvo moved so that Terry was on the bottom. "That's not fair." Korvo tasted Terry's tongue, moaning into the kiss. "You topped earlier." He ran his fingers down Terry's chest then grabbed his dick. He gave it a few strokes then he stuck it inside of him. His face was hot as he tried to adjust himself. 

"F- uck, Korvo." Terry moans as he moves up and down slowly. 

Korvo glistened in the light of the room. There was never a man so beautiful, and Terry couldn't believe it. He's in love. Terry moves Korvo so that he's on top and Korvo is underneath him. A smirk appeared on Korvo's face. So, he wanted to be bottom, Terry thought, bringing himself down on Korvo.

The sweat was still fresh on their skin as they finished their love making session. Terry hoped they weren't too loud this time. He felt bad for having to disturb Korvo's family. He thought back to them. They were a lot better than his own for sure. Things could've been different, if he wasn't born. 

Korvo was fast asleep on Terry's chest. His soft snores and mumbles filled the silence in the air. They couldn't have been happier than to be together like this. 

Terry hugged Korvo tighter. He can't help but feel jealous of Korvo. He has a family, a real one who loves him. There's a family at home who isn't too kind, or loving, but they were still family. Terry kisses Korvo's forehead, waking him up. 

"Hm?" Korvo peeked an eye open. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." Terry lied. "I'm glad you brought me here." 

Korvo noticed the strangeness in the air. Something that he should take care of later because he was far too exhausted from the rounds he and Terry did. He figured he could ask Terry about his home life some other time. He didn't want to ruin this moment of bliss with his boyfriend. 

Korvo came up and planted smooches on Terry's cheek, making him giggle. Bringing his hands to Terry's waists, he tickled him. "Hahaha! Korvo-" Terry laughed until his sides hurt. 

"I love you." Korvo held Terry's hand, interlocking their fingers.

"Wanna do it again?" Terry whispers into Korvo's ear.

"Yes." Korvo got in top of his boyfriend. 

They fucked until morning.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw : mentions of past abuse

Such a beautiful sight in the morning. The sun shines before the trees as the birds sing in almost perfect harmony. Terri spends the morning hunched over the toilet and vomiting the last thing she ate. "Ugh." she groans, holding her head.

Terri pulled herself up and over to the sink. Turning on the sink, she garbled the water and spits it. She still can't believe she let this happen, how she could be so careless. Taking one look in the mirror, Terri opens the door to find her sister standing by the door. "You have something you wanna explain?" She asked, leaning against the doorframe with her arms crossed.

They sat on Terri's bed as she explained what happened with Terry and her current boyfriend, and the baby she has. "Please don't be mad. I can't handle that right now on top of all this mess."

"I'm not mad, T." Jack says, rubbing her sister's back.

"You're not?"

"No, I'm mad at the son of a bitch that knocked up my sister." Jack stood as she was riling herself up.

"Stop it, Jacky. Terry doesn't know." Terri grabbed into her arm.

"I just hate men." She crossed her arms and paced back and forth. Jack stops and faces Terri, putting a hand on her shoulder as she tries to be sisterly. "Look, I know you have a history of lying, but keeping this a secret isn't good. It'll eat you alive, and then you'll regret it."

Terri bit her lips. She didn't want to involve her family in her affairs because she knows they'll end up giving her a lecture, especially her mother. And her dad will most likely hunt Terry down and kill him. It's better to tell them now, Terri reminded herself. "Fine."

"Good." Jack tousled Terri's hair, then left the room.

Terri went over to the mirror. She pulled her shirt up and ran her finger over her stomach. Turning to the side, she looked to see if there was a bump yet, but there was none. More often than not, she thinks this is all a dream or a really bad trip, then she reality hits her when she becomes nauseous.

Later in the day, around dinner time, everyone gathered at the dinner table. They all held hands while they said their prayers. Jack tapped Terri on the leg to get her to tell the family. At that moment, Terri couldn't do it. She wasn't sure if she was going to keep it. She didn't know if Terry would be there for the baby, not that it mattered because she thinks handling a baby doesn't need two people. And she didn't know if she wanted to be a mother. She's only 24 and she hadn't lived her life yet. This was rushing into everything. She knows for sure the family will try to force her into keeping the child because they're extremely religious.

She looks down at her stomach. She wasn't ready to be a mother. Terri excused herself to get some juice from the fridge as Jack followed her to the kitchen.

"What are you doing?" Jack asked while Terri poured herself some juice.

"Drinking apple juice." Terri took a sip.

"Not that. Why didn't you tell them?" Her hands were on her hips.

"Because I don't know if I want the kid." She sets the cup down on the table.

"So? Give it up for adoption."

"There's a lot of kids who need to be adopted. I'm not gonna add another one to the list." Terri leaned on the counter, hugging herself and Jack stood beside her. "I'm craving peanut butter."

"You're gonna get an abortion?" Jack takes Terri's cups and drinks the contents.

"I haven't thought about that yet."

Jack's eyes soften as she sees her sister contemplate this difficult course in her life. "Well, whatever you do. I'll support you."

"Thanks." A strained smile played onto her lips. "Do me favor and don't tell anyone. I'll tell them when I've decided."

And so, they kept quiet about this secret between them. Jack couldn't help but feel worried about Terri, that this will all blow up in her face for helping her lie.

Terry slips on his shoes as he waits for Korvo to finish taking a shower. He didn't understand why Korvo would want to do that by himself. Terry is a great company in the shower, even if he and Korvo didn't agree on what the temperature should be. He likes cold showers, while Korvo likes hot ones to the point where there's steam everywhere. When Korvo got out, his soggy hair was over his face nearly covering his eyes.

"I need a haircut." He says, squeezing the water from his hair as it slides through his fingers. 

"I like it. You look so emo." Terry joked as he finished tying his shoes. 

"Don't ever say that to me again." Korvo cringed, taking another towel to dry his hair. "God, I can't wait to go back to school. I'm sick of being here."

"But I thought you wanted to see your family."

"I wanted to see my dad, not the rest of the family. I always feel coddled here and it's making me uncomfortable. I'm not a child anymore. I eat when I want to eat!" Korvo crossed his arms, huffing. He was referring to his aunt who tends to overfeed the children.

"You sure do act like an angsty teen though." Terry laughed, going over to Korvo. "It's cute that this serious guy-" He touched along Korvo's shoulders then down his arms. "Could be so childish."

"I'm not childish." He puts a hand on Terry's chest to push him away. "And I'm definitely not an angsty teen." Searching through the luggage, he found clean clothes and slipped them on.

Korvo opens the door to find his sister standing outside, about to knock. "Can we talk?" She asks.

"What? So, you can gaslight me again?" He steps out of the room, closing the door behind him so Terry couldn't listen in on his conversation with his abusive sister. There was one important piece of information that Korvo had forgotten. These walls are thin. "Well, it isn't going to work because I already talked to dad."

"Really?" Her voice was sharp, and she was always ready to strike. "Did he tell you that all of his inheritance goes to me?" She crossed her arms.

Korvo's eyes widened. "You're lying."

"I don't lie, Korvo." She frowns. "I only tell the harsh truth."

"Did you come here to brag about you getting dad's inheritance? Because, frankly, I don't care. I can see why dad would give it to you." He leans in, all threateningly as he spoke in a hushed tone. "You can't handle the real world. Your several boyfriends can't help you if you're spending money on them. You're helpless on your own."

Suddenly, there was a loud clap. Terry flinched at the sound as he listened in through the door. Korvo held his cheek, feeling the sting of his sister's handprint on his face. Korvo hasn't been hit by her since he left for college.

"It's your fault that mom died." She had tears in her eyes.

"Don't you think I know that?" He grimaces. "Find a better insult, Kira, because so far your life is just as much of an insult."

"Shut up!" She raised her hand to slap him again, but Korvo catches her by the wrist. "I hate you!"

"The feeling is mutual." He says, furrowing his brow.

Kira trembles under Korvo's grasp. She didn't want this. She doesn't know why everytime she sees Korvo she feels the need to attack him. She only wanted to apologize, but it's so hard to do so when she can't even forgive herself. "I don't hate you, Korvo." She cries. "I hate… myself."

Korvo releases her wrist and crosses his arms. He's never felt more uncomfortable in his life. If there were a list of impossible things, Kira being sentimental would be second on that list. The first is Terry raising a hand at him. Korvo wanted to believe her, but there was doubt in the back of his mind telling him that this is all part of her trick, like it always is.

"I'm sorry." She says.

He nods. "That's it?" She looked up at him, his eyes still seething with anger. "No 'I'm sorry for manipulating you, Korvo?' No 'sorry for abusing you, Korvo'? No 'sorry for making you hate yourself, Korvo'!" His hands balled into a fist as he tried to calm himself down.

"What more do you want from me?" She yelled. "I said I was sorry!"

He shook his head. Clearly, he knew she could never understand. A simple sorry could not rid him from the trauma she caused. "I get what you're trying to do. But, I'll never forgive you, Kira. Just be glad that I still consider you as my sister." Korvo wasn't in the mood to go out anymore. This was too emotionally draining to go on a date. He turned around and went back inside his room.

He rummaged through his belongings to find the blunts he packed. Once acquired, he goes to his window and unlocks it. Pulling it open, he stuck a leg out.

"W- wait, Korvo! We could talk about this." Terry held onto Korvo's arm to stop him from going out the window. "You don't have to end your life like this!"

"What are you talking about?" He squinted at Terry's idiocy. "I'm going to the roof."

Terry lets go of Korvo, and chuckles at himself overreacting. "Oh, can I come with?"

"Sure, just don't fall off." Korvo crawled out the window, stepping into the little balcony outside. He pulled himself up onto the roof.

Terry had years of climbing shit. They called him the Climbing King back in elementary school. Once he made it to the roof, Korvo was already laying on his back and smoking the blunt. Terry sat next to him as Korvo passed it.

Kira marched into her father's study. "Pa!"

Mister Korvo doesn't look up from the book in his hand. "What is it, Kira?"

"Why did you give me the inheritance?" She clenched her fist and gritted her teeth. Kira needed the truth because whatever comes out of Korvo's mouth is a lie. She always reminds herself that.

"Because you need it." He answers, no hesitation in his voice.

"Why? Because I didn't go to college or have a job? Because I can't handle myself?" Her voice cracked.

Mister Korvo turned his chair around, holding the cigar that was just in his mouth. "Kira, you stole $6,000 from me and ran away with a guy you just met. You ended up homeless in New York, not to mention you were involved with a gang because you had no money."

"No! It's because Korvo is your favorite child. He's going to college! He's gonna become a scientist and make so much money, just like you!" She cried.

Mister Korvo slammed his book on the little table next to him. He's had enough of her making a fuss over her feelings of inadequacy. "Are you really complaining about getting free money?"

"N-no." She lowered her voice.

"Just because I gave you the inheritance doesn't mean I don't think you can't handle yourself. Even though it's true. The inheritance goes to you because I want to be sure that you'll be okay without me. And Korvo is already doing fine." Mister Korvo brought the cigar to his mouth inhaling the smoke. As he exhales, the smoke follows his breath. "Speaking of your brother, you know he blames himself for your mother's passing?"

"What?" She froze as her palms began to sweat. "W- why would he…"

"I never mentioned to Korvo anything about your mother. I figured by telling him he'd figure out that she's not around because he came into the world. He's a smart boy. But I doubt that he was able to catch on by himself." He pauses. "Unless someone told him."

Kira began to sweat. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Mister Korvo got up and stood in front of Kira, glaring down at her. "Why did you tell Korvo that your mother died because of him?"

"Because he needed to know…" Wrong answer.

"Get out." he points to the door.

"You love him more! When Korvo was a baby you've treated him better than me! " She stomped her feet into the wooden boards that made up the floor.

"Kira, Korvo was an infant and you were 10."

"He was smart enough to take care of himself."

Mister Korvo puts out the smoke on his cigar. "I'm sorry, I'm not the best father. But don't take your anger out on Korvo because I didn't give you enough attention."

Kira frowns and turns a heel, leaving the room. From the study, Mister Korvo could hear the door slamming shut. He sighs.

Korvo and Terry sat on the roof together, watching as the night sky brimmed with twinkling stars. Korvo made out so many constellations within a minute. He spent so many nights up here, thinking that he could be closer to the stars. After all, they're only a reach away, and Korvo never extended his arms.

"They must have nice families." Terry blinks slowly at the sky. "Why can't I have one?"

Korvo turned to Terry, snapping him out of his high. "I've been meaning to ask you something." He kept his eyes focused on the stars. "Don't get me wrong, I love having you here, but why did you agree to come with me? Don't you… miss your family?"

Terry took a deep breath as if life had taken it all away and blessed him with a single puff of air as a reward. He hadn't anticipated that tonight would be an inordinate of pent up emotion. It was a shame. Terry was just starting to relax. "They're not my family."

It says a lot about someone if they don't consider the people that raise them as their "family." Nor does blood make someone family. Korvo doesn't understand, however. He's always had family, someone who loves him even when he didn't know it. "I'm sure they're just-"

"No!" Terry shouted without meaning to. He sat up, rubbing his temples. The headache was returning, the same ones he had when his father kicked the shit out of him while he was drunk. It was also the same headache that Terry got whenever his mother threw glass bottles at him. And the time when his older brother stripped him down and beat him in the backyard just because Terry didn't answer him. He soon realized he had shouted, that wasn't allowed in his household. "I'm sorry." His voice trembled.

Korvo sat up and brought his hand up to touch Terry's shoulder, but he flinched away. "Terry…"

As quickly as his fears came, they left, leaving only wrath. "You don't get it. You lived with family. I lived with people."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm adopted."

Korvo didn't know, though he did assume.

"Family doesn't mean you have to be related by blood. Family has love. There was no love where I came from." He fidgets with his hands. It felt disgusting to share this, but it's the only way to move past it. Before Terry thought the abuse happened was because they cared, but he knows now what true love is. It was not that. "I was abused."

There were no words. There was nothing Korvo could say that would change what Terry thought and felt. He knows that. But he also needed to know, "what about your birth mom?"

"Don't know where she is. I couldn't care less."

"Don't want to know how she is? If… she's still alive?" He stared at his shoes. Terry still had a mom. Korvo would give anything just to know what his own mother was like. Nobody ever talked about her in the family. It was a rule that Mister Korvo had placed upon the house.

"No offense, Korvo." Terry looked Korvo in the eyes, gravitas in his demeanor that says he meant business. "Your mom didn't choose to leave, mine did. She walked out of the hospital the second I popped out. So, why should I care what happens to that bitch?"

Terry's mother not only left him, but she left him with monsters. The monsters, surely, pulled the trigger, but it was his mother who gave them the gun.

The conversation had dropped because now Korvo knew Terry's pain. There was nothing more to add. It was only them and the stars tonight.

Morning came and it was the day she had to return back to that school. But she knows she won't stay for long. She hopes the trip back won't nauseate her. Ever since this baby showed up, the motions have made her fairly sick.

The song on the radio played, but Terri wasn't paying attention to it. She had other things to worry about. Terri hadn't planned on what to say to John. She fears he might get the wrong idea, that she cheated on him, though she did. Things are different now. She's with someone she might love.

The dorm was mostly empty, except for the stuff that only Terri left behind. Her roommate took all of their stuff, probably moved to a different dorm as well. Of course they would leave, Terri spent too much time in here, high and crying. Today felt like the time to do so, but she wasn't alone this time.

Terri held her stomach, rubbing circles on her abdomen. Though she was alone in this room, she didn't feel so alone. Going over to the mirror, she searched to see any sort of bump appearing. There was none. She began to think that she wasn't pregnant, that going home and doing the test was all a dream. Another thought had occurred, the abortion. She had decided already on the ride here that she would get one. She'll be alone again.

Once she unpacked everything, Terri took a good look at her room, but turning had made her nauseous again. She found herself on the floor, puking in the toilet. Terri hadn't heard John come into her room. He heard the noises too and followed the sound. Immediately, he ran to Terri's side when he saw her hunched over the toilet.

"What happened?" He asked, clearly knowing the answer.

Terri turns her head to see her boyfriend. "I… ate something bad." She lied.

John looked her in the eyes, wiping the spit from her lips with his sleeve. He flashed a quick smile. "Somehow I feel that's not the case."

Terri sat on the floor as John sat beside her. She kept her eyes on him. Her voice cracked as she told him the truth, "I'm pregnant."

John refrained from expressing any hurt on his face. He didn't want to make Terri feel bad for his reaction. "Who's the father?" He knows it's not his.

The tears were already falling from Terri's eyes. "It's… it's Terry." Her head hung, covering her face with her hands.

His eyes widened. "What?" Not only was his girlfriend pregnant and it was someone else's child, it was also Terry's child. John was fuming that Terry would betray him. Not only that, he was betraying Korvo too. He knows he should be mad at Terri too, but he loved her too much to even scold her. John pulled himself off of the floor and walked to the door.

Terri felt John get up as she raised her head to see him heading for the door. "J-John?" She called, getting up to follow him to the door. "John, where are you going?"


	8. Chapter 8

The room was a cluttering mess because Korvo brought too many things as he tends to overpack. It was messy before they left too because neither of them had the time to clean it, mostly because they were too caught up in school and in each other. 

The trip back from Korvo's family house was, for the most part, normal but it was the farewells that were a bit tense. Everyone knew about Kira's fight with Korvo because, once again, the walls are thin. Mister Korvo gave Korvo a pen, which turns out to be a really strong laser that can cut through metal. "Thanks, dad. " Korvo smiles. He could easily make one himself, but he appreciates the sentiment.

Kira wasn't there. She left the day before.

Before Korvo and Terry left, they stopped by a flower shop. Terry thought it was going to be something romantic before they go. Turns out they were dropping by the cemetary. The tombstone already had a bouquet of flowers. Kira had gone there before them. Regardless, Korvo set the flowers next to Kira's. He didn't want to stay for long or else he'd start blaming himself again. Korvo held Terry's hand as he left his mother's grave.

By the time they made it back to campus, everyone was already here. The corridors were busy with people trying to lug their stuff into their rooms. They practically had to climb over other people's junk just to get to their room. When they got there, Terry and Korvo threw themselves onto the couch, the familiar scent of butts, sex, and beer filled their senses.

"I hate coming back here." Terry pants as he looked at the calluses forming on his hands from hauling the luggage up the stairs.

"I'm gonna go do stuff." Korvo begrudgingly pulls himself up off the couch and drags his luggage into his room.

When he came back out, he was wearing different clothes. It was his school clothes, but with a sweater instead of a vest. And Korvo didn't pay any attention to Terry, mostly because he was jet lagged.

Terry threw a sock at Korvo to catch his attention and it worked. Korvo turned his head to find Terry in one of his shirts and the buttons were undone. He smirked as he skipped over the luggage to get to his boyfriend, so he could touch him. Terry closed the space between them as he licked his lips.

Korvo pulled away, causing Terry to whine. "I gotta unpack." He was quiet. His eyes analyzed the features of Terry's face, and just like when he studied the stars when he was 13, he was never tired of seeing it.

"I have something else you could unpack." Terry teases, slowly he pulled down the fabric, only to be stopped by Korvo's hands. He pulled the shirt back over Terry's shoulders.

Korvo's fingertips grazed the side of Terry's neck as he kissed him, pushing him back onto the table behind him. Terry sat on it as he explore Korvo's mouth with his tongue. His hand found its way under Korvo's shirt, feeling the softness of his cold skin.

The two men flinched when they heard the banging on their door. They groaned. "I'll get it." Terry had a hand on Korvo's chest as he gently pushed him away.

Terry quickly buttoned up his shirt and opened the door to see John. He looked pissed. He could hear Terri's voice yelling for John down the hall. Before Terry could ask what was going on, John punches Terry in the face, making him stumble back. Korvo catches Terry and puts him back on his feet.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Korvo shouted, pissed that John would hit Terry for no reason.

Terri shows up in the doorway, seeing Korvo standing in front of Terry to stop John from attacking him again.

John goes towards Korvo but Terri grabs his arm, pulling him away. "Me? He's the one that cheated on you with my girlfriend!" He shouted.

Terri and Korvo exchanged glances. She shook her head, willing him to lie, but he didn't. "I… I know." Korvo admits.

"You know? Did you guys have a threesome or something?"

"No. I mean, Terri is certainly attractive to other people. I would never-" John tackles Korvo to the ground before he could finish his statement about not being attracted to her. Who knew such a small man had so much strength. John threw a punch at him and Korvo headbutted John, knocking him back.

Terri ran to John while Terry went to Korvo. "Korvo, are you okay?" Terry asked, helping him up.

"I'm fine." Korvo groaned, wincing at the pain on his face.

"John, stop it." Terri whispered, holding his arm. "We can talk about this."

"Talk about what? I never thought you'd do this to me." John turned to Korvo. "And you," He pointed at him. "I never thought you'd do this to me." John pulled himself off the floor, flinching away when Terri tried to touch him.

"Hey, don't blame this on Korvo!" Terry huffed.

"Fuck you, Terry!"

Terry gulped while looking at Terri who was just as nervous. Terry opened his mouth to say something, but Terri spoke first. "John," She moved in front of him, looking him in the eyes. "The first month while we were dating, I was with Terry, and he was with Korvo. We broke up because I wanted to be with you."

"Yeah, and I knew about them because Terry told me that they got back together." Korvo explained.

"And you still fucked around with him even when you knew he was with someone else?" John scoffed. "I thought you were better than that."

"Shut the fuck up, John! This isn't Korvo's fault. He had nothing to do with this." Terry grabs John by the collar.

"You're right. It's your fault." Terry thought that John meant he broke his and Terri's relationship, until he says, "Terri's pregnant because of you."

His eyes widened as his grasp loosened. "What?" He breathed, letting go of John and moving towards Terri. "Is that true?"

She nods, tears in her eyes. "I didn't want you to find out this way."

"Are you sure it's mine?" He joked, making Terri chuckle.

"Yeah."

The crowd outside of their room slowly began to disperse now that there's no fighting to entertain them. Korvo escaped to his room, unsure about the situation after hearing the news. John scoffed, too hurt to see this go on any further. He shook his head in disappointment and left, slamming the door behind him.

The room was quiet for a moment, with the sound of faint murmurs coming from outside. Terry didn't know what to say, where to start or how it all happened. A few moments ago he was about to get it on with Korvo and now he's hit with child support payments. "I'm sorry." He tells her. "About your relationship with John and putting a baby in you."

They shared a look, one that's all too familiar with their shenanigans and tomfoolery. Without meaning it, they shared a laugh. It was always a go-to when the world was crumbling, but this felt different. Then the ambience in the room became serious again.

A thought had occurred to Terry. For the child to grow up healthy, they need a mom and a dad. It was something he didn't have, well not for real. He wanted a real family for his kid. "We have to get married." He said, quickly. "We have to do it for the baby."

Terri scoffs. "No, we're not getting married just because I'm with child." Her eyes falter as her smile falls. "You should get married for love, not for a baby."

The room became silent again. Terry thinks she's right. Marriage should only be for business stuff and love, but mostly love. "So, what are we gonna do?"

"We," She places her hands on both of his shoulders so they're looking at each other in the eyes. "Aren't doing anything. I'm planning to get an abortion."

He'd be lying if he said he wasn't even a bit disappointed. The news somehow crushed him. Terry was looking forward to having the child in his life, especially since they'd be sharing the same genes as his beautiful ex girlfriend. He imagined holding the baby once they were born and taking them on radical adventures, like a normal family would. But those are only day dreams. "An abortion. Well, that's great." He tried to sound enthusiastic for Terri. "You can do whatever you want, Terri."

"Thanks." She smiled, not knowing what else to say. It was awkward again. She had no reason to be here besides the baby, and since she's getting rid of it, she wasn't welcomed. "Well, I'm gonna go." She moved towards the door. "Gotta check up on John, you know, make sure he's okay."

"I understand. Call me if you need anything." Terry says, watching her crack the door open and walk through it. He stares at the closed door. He didn't get the chance to ask her how long she's been pregnant for.

Terry opened the door to Korvo's room, finding him putting his stuff away. He doesn't say anything and just hugs Korvo from behind. He felt Korvo sigh, preparing himself to have this conversation. "How you holding up?"

"I could be better." Terry admits, his voice trembling.

Korvo could tell Terry was upset by the sound of his voice and how tight he was holding him. "Can I look at you?"

"No." Terry's voice gave in. He cried while holding Korvo. "She's gonna get an abortion. I'm happy for her, but like, I was looking forward to being a dad."

What Korvo took from that was Terry wanted to be a family with Terri because she has his baby. He couldn't help but feel jealous. "It's okay, Terry." He rubbed Terry's arm. 

Terry hoped things would be okay.

The week passed by and everything was almost back to normal. Today happens to be one of those days where he'd stop by Terri's place to ask her how she's doing. However, Terry never had the guts to knock.

He turned to see John in the same hallway. He was also checking up on Terri. She told him that she was going to the clinic today and he wanted to know if she was home yet. She wasn't.

"Terry." John acknowledged.

"John." Terry says. John doesn't stay for long.

At the abortion clinic, Terri sat in the waiting room with the other patients. One girl was sixteen years old and her mom was yelling at her. The other was an older woman who seemed to be successful, but Terri knows that behind this exterior was an unfathomably lonely woman. She could tell by the creases of light wrinkles on her eyes and how she lacked smile lines.

When Terri was called in, she made no eye contact with any of the patients for fear that they'd unknowingly make her change her mind.

The office room was in shades of blue and the floors were cold, but Terri couldn't feel them. She still had her shoes on. The baby was too small to have an ultrasound of, and she had to admit, she was disappointed. The doctor said words she didn't understand because she didn't care to listen. They handed her pills and then kicked her out. Now, she's sitting in her car, in the parking lot of an abortion clinic.

The pills were next to her in the passenger seat. It was mocking her. Using her jacket to cover the bag, she started the engine and rolled out of the lot.

There was a 7-eleven nearby and Terri figured she could take her mind off of this by buying some snacks and anything she was craving for. When she came back to her car, she checked on the pills from under her jacket. They were still there. She thought by leaving she would come to realize this is a dream.

Snatching the snickers bar, she peeled the wrapper open and took a bite. Instinctively, she rubbed her stomach. She's been doing it ever since she found out she was pregnant at her sister's house. Terri chewed the chocolate slowly and looked down at her stomach. She has to eat for two now.

Terri glanced at the spot where the pills were, then back at her stomach. She groaned, doing what her head desired. Terri opened the bag and read the instructions on the paper that came with it. It said that the pills should be used during the first trimester of pregnancy. So far, Terri's been pregnant for 10 weeks and she's still looking for the bump. The pills couldn't be used if 17 weeks have passed.

She rubbed her belly. There was nothing wrong with waiting for the last week to do this. She could be pregnant for a while longer, then after that she'd take it. Terri smiled. She could still be a mother. 

When she got back to the dorm, John texted her, asking if she did it. She lied and told him that she did. He asked to come over and she agreed. Terri took a pill from the bottle and placed it in an Altoids breath mint box. If she was going to lie, then she had to be convincing. Technically, she wasn't lying. She will take the pills, just not now.

Within minutes he's at her door She showed him the pill she had to take. John sounded excited to hear about this. It was unsettling. She wasn't going to give it up yet.

The next week, Terri had visited Terry. She knew he wanted to know how she was doing. "Does it hurt?" He asked. He's no expert on women's anatomy, but he thought it was going to be painful.

"No, I feel fine." She touched her stomach again, then quickly pulled her hand away. "Best decision I've ever made."

Terry's smile falters. He should be happy for her but he's not. The kid was a part of him too, and it felt like he was losing a child.

They said their farewells and scheduled for another lunch date.

The third week passes, then the fourth, until it was the last week to take the pills and Terri still hadn't taken them. She'd wake up every morning for the past few weeks touching her stomach and talking to the baby. She'd say things like, "What would you like for breakfast, beautiful?" Or while she was watching a movie and eating pizza, she'd tell her baby about the movie. At night, Terri would lay in bed and she would tell her child about love, or what the media thinks what love is.

"I hope you're able to find love." She rubs her stomach. "I was never able to find it, even now."

Then tears ran from her eyes when she realized that all of her rambling to her stomach was only going to be a fantasy. Terri had daydreamed often about taking care of the child with John and Terry would come to visit sometimes. A lump of sadness fell out of her mouth as she whimpered, holding her stomach.

"I'm not ready to be a mother." She sobbed. "But I don't want to give you up."

Terri cried for the whole night until exhaustion lulls her to sleep, like a baby after crying for hours. It was a dreamless night.

When morning came, Terri leaned on the sink staring at the bottle. It mocked her again. The voice of her unborn child had spoken to her, trying to talk her into doing it. It reminded her that she's not ready and that she'd be a terrible mother. Terri groans, snatching the bottle and opening the cap. She sighed as she stared at the white pills. A sweat balled on her forehead as she dropped one into her palm. The pill stared back at her, telling her to do it. Shutting her eyes, she puts it in her mouth. When she opened her eyes, she was greeted by her reflection. Terri still had her hand on her stomach, and that's when she couldn't do it.

Terri spits the pill into the toilet and rinse her mouth in the sink. The reflection stared at her when she raised her head. "Big mistake." It said to her.

The pill bottle sat on the sink. Terri grimaced at it, then she dunks it in the toilets then flushes. Closing the lid, she sits on the toilet. What did she just do? Looking at her belly, she places a hand over it. "Don't worry, we'll be okay." She was referring to herself.

Terri searched in her room for her stash of cocaine to try to soothe the stress she felt. She fucked up big time. She promised John that she'd make this right by getting rid of the baby. Instead, she chose the baby over him. The little baggy was tapped under the nightstand and she reached for it.

She took a spare textbook and crushed the dust with her debit card. She rolled a dollar bill and prepared herself to snort it. She must've been crazy or she'd gone crazy along the way. She can't do this. Now, she couldn't even relax because she'd be harming her child.

Terri screamed as she threw the book with the cocaine on it at the wall. The dust scattered everywhere on the floors. She huffed, staring at the cocaine on the floor. Her conscious was right. This was a mistake.

She felt lost, so lost that she ended up at Terry's dorm. Terry lets her in, thinking that something must be wrong if she was there. Suddenly, she forced a kiss on him. "Ter-" She silenced him with her lips and slipped a hand in his pants. She wanted to forget for a moment that she fucked up. He puts his hands on her shoulders and pushes her away so that he could look at her. She has tears in her eyes.

"I'm sorry." She looked at the floor, her tears dripping down her cheeks.

"Look, I get you have issues with John but having sex with me isn't going to solve anything." Terry explained, crossing his arms. He noticed that she was still crying. This might be more than John. "Is this about the abortion?"

She nodded, wiping her tears.

"It's okay to be sad about it." Though that wasn't what she was sad about, she still accepted the hug he gave. "I didn't get to spend time with the kid. How could I? It's in your body. I didn't tell you this before because I didn't want my opinions to cloud your judgement, but I was looking forward to being a father."

Terri looked up. "Really?" So, she wasn't the only one who felt this.

"Yeah." He smiles. "I even imagined what the baby would be like when he's older."

"You thought it was gonna be a boy?" A smile appeared on her face as she held her belly. 

"Or a girl. It didn't matter to me. I'd still love them the same." Terry said. He glanced at her hand on her stomach. "It must've been hard."

Terri pulled her hand away. She almost forgot that Terry didn't know she's still pregnant. Her consciousness fought with each other. "Tell him," they would say. "Don't tell him," they'd argue back.

"What about John?" Her conscious asked. Terri still had feelings for John and she wanted to make it work with him because she felt like it was the closest she's ever gotten to falling in love. She can't lose that.

"I gotta go." She tells Terry. "Thanks." She says before she walks out the door.

Terri could make it right again. There was another procedure during the second trimester during pregnancy. She had remembered what the doctor told her if she failed to take the pills. There was a do-over. This time she wasn't going to fail.

A month passed again. Terri had a significant bump on her belly, the one she'd been looking for in the mirror. She began to talk to the baby again, she daydreamed again, this time about raising the child. She imagined pushing them on the swing at the park. She imagined making them breakfast in the morning, then lunch and dinner at night. She imagined reading them bedtime stories and teaching them about the birds and the bees. She imagined attending their high school graduation, watching them go off into college, seeing them get married. She imagined growing old and seeing her grandchildren. She could die knowing that she'll never be alone. And little by little, as each day passes she begins to love.

That morning, the day of the abortion she had scheduled prior, Terri didn't show up. In fact, she was with Terry. They were at one of their many lunch dates. Recently, they've grown close as friends, even going so far to share their love life without having it be a contest.

Terri frowns, as she prepares herself to ruin her friendship with Terry. "I didn't go through with the abortion."

She couldn't read what Terry was feeling. There were mixed emotions, but one of them was distinct: excitement. "Why didn't you?"

"I've never felt love before, Terry." Terri explained. "I've _almost_ loved people but it was never enough, until this baby showed up and I felt it for the first time."

Terry sighed. He understood that about her. This was her one chance to get a heart and she chose that over her almost love with John. Nothing else mattered, Terry was going to be a parent. "We're gonna be parents!" He grabbed her hand, interlocking his fingers in hers.

Little did they know, Korvo was also having lunch too. At that moment, Korvo wished he hadn't gone to the cafeteria if it meant he didn't have to see this. Tossing the food into the trash, he figured he could eat another time when his heart wasn't broken. His appetite was ruined.


	9. Chapter 9

The dorm was cold. It was well into March and the snow was still fresh on the ground as the sun failed to melt it. Korvo was going to eat dinner alone again, and again he would skip it. For the past months, ever since Terri came out with the news that she's keeping the baby, Terry has been by her side the whole time. Not for a second he'd leave her alone, and Korvo has been pretty lonely without him, though he won't admit it. There have been days when Korvo would be alone in his dorm without Terry and his phone would be drier than the Sahara desert. 

John and Korvo weren't as close anymore ever since he found out that Korvo knew about Terry and Terri's affairs. They only share greetings when they'd see each other in the hall. Other than that, they were mostly strangers.

However, the days when Terry came home, he couldn't keep his mouth shut about the baby. He talked about the ultrasound that Terri got and showed Korvo the picture of it. The gray picture of the baby inside Terri looked disgusting to Korvo but he put on a fake smile and congratulated him regardless.

Korvo trusted Terry enough to know he's not cheating on him with Terri, but he was beginning to have doubts when he started sleeping over at her place. He didn't want Terry to think that he didn't trust him, so he kept his mouth shut and silently suffered. Instead of feeling bad for himself, Korvo spent his time studying and participating with the club activities, and even staying out late to help out. He'd do almost anything to avoid being in his dorm and have himself be tormented by his thoughts. 

At one point, when Korvo asked Terry to go to a party with him, Terry declined. "I have to help Terri." He said.

Terry has always been a party guy. The whole campus knew him as the best party dude. Well, the best party dude didn't show up to a party and Korvo went alone that night. So hurt and angry by Terry's neglect, he drank himself to oblivion and tried meth for the first time. He wasn't at the party when he did it. Korvo managed to drunk drive his way back to the campus and into a lab then he started making meth. His drunk self thought it was a good idea because someone at the party talked about Breaking Bad. There was this irrational thought that he could be better than the pasty bald man, Walter White. Once he was done making it, he crushed it and snorted it.

He woke up the next day on his couch with the meth and some of the lab equipment. There was a ring on his phone that sent tremors in his head from how loud it was. He picked it up.

"H-hello?" His head was still spinning as he tried to open his eyes, but managed to blink a few times and his mouth tasted like piss.

"Korvo?" For a second, Korvo couldn't recognize the voice because he was too discombobulated. "I'm gonna get some dinner. Want anything?"

He rubbed his head. "Dinner?" He looked at the time and it was 7:50 pm. He realized he slept through the whole day since yesterday when he partied, and skipped his classes for today. "Uh, anything's fine."

"Okay, I lo-" He hangs up. He wondered why he didn't let himself hear Terry's "I love you". Maybe because he knew it wouldn't be true anymore.

Korvo stood up as the little pouch of meth fell on the floor. He picks it up, then he notices the lab equipment. Upon further examination, the equipment was dirty with chemicals used to make meth. "I made meth?" He says to himself.

Since it was practically night, Korvo thought he could put the equipment back before anyone notices. Korvo leaves his dorm and goes to the lab. He puts his hand into his pocket and feels the bag of meth that he made. He had no recollection of making it. He wondered if he tried it. He figured he probably did but was too drunk and high to remember.

Terry was gonna be home at any minute, he reminded himself, but he was still sitting in the lab doing meth. As much as he wanted to see Terry, he couldn't stand hearing about the baby any longer. It hurt him to see Terry that happy and it wasn't because of him. He began to feel insecure because he wasn't a woman, and he couldn't give Terry a kid, unless he kidnapped one.

"Stupid baby." He mumbled.

Suddenly, Korvo found himself in his dorm again. He didn't understand why all the lights would be off when the last time he was here he left them on. When he trudged to his room, he found Terry sitting on his chair by the desk.

"Terry." He breathed as if it was new to him.

"Where were you?" He asked. "You're never home this late."

"What time is it?" Korvo says slowly.

"It's 5 am." Terry answered as he stood up. "Where were you?"

"Party." He manages to say. It wouldn't be a lie if hiz head felt like a party to him. Korvo stared at his bed, wanting nothing more than to lay in it and sleep.

Terry came closer. He could see that Korvo could barely keep his eyes open. "Either you're really tired or you're high."

"I'm tired." Korvo sat on his bed. "It's- it's 5, so I'm…" He trails off as he lays his head on the pillow and passes out.

Terry sighs. He didn't know why Korvo had to lie to him. He asked around if there was a party that Korvo would go to while he went missing, and there was none. He covers Korvo in his blanket.

He didn't want to think about it, especially since he's been spending too much time with Terri. He trusts Korvo enough to know that he's not cheating, but he's been gone for too long because he wanted his child to be safe. He feels guilty for leaving Korvo alone, but his child is important too. He hopes that Korvo understands that. Terry leans in and gives Korvo a kiss on the forehead.

When Korvo wakes up, Terry was gone again. The evening classes were already in session and he didn't feel like going. The room was cold like it always is. The distant chattering of students passing by could be heard through the walls of his dorm and the feeling of dread accompanied him while he wrapped the blanket tighter around him. _Terry was gone again_. Korvo gets up, doesn't bother to check his boyfriend's room while he made his way to the kitchen, knowing damn well, Terry's at Terri's place again, probably having brunch with her. Speaking of brunch, he finds a cold breakfast on the table, bacon and eggs, made slightly burnt. Sitting on the counter, he takes a bite of the uncomfortably chilly piece of bacon. The feeling of sorrow welled up in his eyes while he cries, sobbing while he ate the stale meat. It tasted like loneliness.

Any kind of drink or drug would feel better than these inevitable feelings of hurt. Lucky for Korvo, there was another party today. He never thought in a million years, that a party would excite him. Parties were only for sex purposes and occasionally getting completely shitfaced, but this was for an important celebration. Since Terry can't celebrate his fatherhood with some shots, Korvo will do it for him. He doesn't bother telling Terry about the party since he knows he would rather stay with Terri than be with him. Korvo got himself all dolled up, but not too dolled up because he's still a taken man.

Paul's parent's house was at the border of the city and it was kinda far. Regardless, Korvo still showed up. He's fucked if he gets too fucked up at the party. 

Within minutes, Korvo was drowning himself in hard drinks and more drugs. Some girl was dancing and grinding on him, and he didn't care, he just wanted to drink some more. She kissed him and he didn't push her away, then she whispered some sexual bullshit into his ear. Sure, she was pretty but she wasn't his type. He knows she'll turn him off with just the sight of her face or the sound of her moans. So, she walks off expecting Korvo to catch her, but he doesn't. 

Korvo was back to dancing and getting kissed by overly emotional and touchy people. Parties were the only place to get touchy snatch free kisses without getting backhanded by significant partners because most of the time, everyone is too drunk to think straight. And that's how Korvo wants to be. Someone had stolen a kiss from him. This person happens to be way too out of his league because he was a jock, and he could tell the guy was drinking beer by the way his lips tasted. Then, there was another guy who was doing cocaine off of a girl's body. The substances made Korvo think this guy look cool.

He noticed Korvo staring blankly at him. "Hey," he greeted.

"Hey," Korvo says.

"Wanna take a hit?" He holds out the rolled up bill for Korvo to take.

Korvo stares at it. He could go for more fun tonight since he's abstaining from sex and the love of his life didn't love him anymore. It was worse than a break up. To be honest, he never thought his first real relationship would end because of a baby. It was almost surreal, like he was in some teen drama and he could've solved his problems just by telling Terry that he hates the child and Terri. That'll only make things worse, then Terry will surely hate him for admitting that. The music grew louder as his thoughts were replaced with the sounds, bringing him back to reality. Korvo grabs the dollar and snorts the line of white dust from the average looking lady's shoulder. 

"My man! Cool shades, by the way." The guy says, holding out his hand. "I'm Steve."

He hadn't realized he was wearing someone else's sunglasses. He wondered why anyone would wear sunglasses to a party at night. "Korvo." He says, shaking the guy's hand. "So, Steve, got any more?"

There's still no Terry. Korvo slammed his door shut. Frustration arises as he plops onto the couch and cries into the couch pillow. Irrational thoughts made its way into his head, thoughts like, Terry choosing his child over him, Terry no longer loving him, or Terry leaving him to be with Terri to raise their kid together and Korvo is gonna die, gay and alone.

"Terry!" Korvo sobbed into the pillow.

The door to Terry's room swings open as he comes out, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. "Korvo?" He was wearing his usual pajamas and a t-shirt.

Korvo pushed himself up from the couch and ran to Terry, hugging his legs, still intoxicated from the happiness in his system. "I love you, Terry! Please don't leave me! I know I can't get pregnant , but I think I can artificially make a child for us. Then we can run away together forever and forget about that bitch Terri!" He rubbed his face on Terry's thigh. "I can make you happy."

"Aw, Korvo." Terry pulled Korvo to his feet and walked him to his room. "I'm already happy with you."

The room was far away again and it felt harder for Korvo to keep his eyes open. "Kiss me." He says, slowly.

Terry does what Korvo says. Korvo never believed in magic but Terry's touch felt exactly like that. Terry's kisses felt like glitter and he couldn't get enough.

Suddenly, the room was red, then it was purple and pink. It was blurry and shiny. This wasn't Korvo's room anymore. It was someplace better. There was no pain, no pleasure, nothing, but it felt so good. Terry brought his hand to Korvo's face and touched his cheek. Korvo turned his head to kiss his hand, then Terry grazed a thumb over his lip.

"Are you a good boy?" Terry's voice was slow but Korvo understood regardless.

"Yes." He sighs. Everything else seems to blend in together, creating a mesh of cool colors.

Terry stuck his thumb into Korvo's mouth, his skin grazing against the teeth. "Good."

Korvo laid his head on the pillow as Terry got on top of him. He was still shining under the colorful lights in his room. Korvo didn't realize his clothes were already off when Terry touches him. His arms were pinned against the bed as Terry thrusts inside of him, making him moan. Then Terry came up and slapped Korvo.

There was another slap. "Hey, Korvo. Wake up." Steve calls. They were still at the party. "The cops are here."

Korvo was still passed out on the party couch. Steve groans then hoists Korvo on his shoulder as he runs out of the house. He dropped Korvo in the backseat and then drove back to campus. When they were entering the building, he asked Korvo where his room was.

"C401." He struggled to speak because his mouth was dry.

"Let's hope they didn't see us." Steve carried Korvo to his dorm.

Once they were there, Korvo fumbled with his keys as he said goodbye to Steve. When he turned around Steve was ready gone. "Huh." He opened the door, trudging to the couch and taking a seat. "That was- was some dream."

Korvo begins stripping his shirt off then lays his head on the cushion pillows, sinking into his couch. Nothing felt better than this couch. He immediately passes out. 

When the sun went down, Terry came home to a passed out Korvo. He sighs, thinking that Korvo must've been studying himself to exhaustion again. He wondered why his shirt was off.

The next two months began the same and ended the same, but instead of a party, he began to skip class and hang out with Steve. They even went to clubs in the city because not everyone is going to want to go to some rich kid's house for a party. Korvo just wanted to get gone for a while so he doesn't have to think about Terry or school or the baby. He wanted to dance, sing and kiss, and forget that he's slowly becoming undone.

During one of Korvo's blackout adventures, he made meth and he smoked them with Steve. Slowly, he became friends with a lot of junkies. Korvo would go to Steve for the drugs he doesn't bother making himself. These ones, this time, were pills. While Steve was explaining what they were, Korvo just swallowed them.

Before Steve could say that Korvo had to pay for it, he already smacked the cash in his hands. "Gimme, like, four of these." His speech was slurred and slowed.

The drugs were kicking in and they were hiding hard. Korvo's feet was becoming elongated and his hands had stars on them. He laughs, then Steve puts the baggy of four pills in his hand.

"Thanks, man." Korvo left Steve's room and went back to his dorm, practically floating there.

Korvo wobbled on his feet as he tried to go into his room. He didn't notice Terry was in the kitchen. In fact, he wouldn't notice Terry much whenever he was high. That was the a point of the drug, to forget.

"Korvo!" Terry greeted but Korvo ignored him and followed the glitter that's trailing into his room. "Where are you going?" He watched as Korvo plopped on his bed. "I was gonna tell you about the baby names Terri and I decided on."

"Mhmm." Korvo lazily stares at the ceiling. Terry's voice just goes past him like the and he paid no mind to it.

"Are you okay?" Terry asked, coming closer to Korvo. He saw how long Korvo's hair has gotten, the scruff on his face from the lack of shaving and showering, how red the skin under his eyes were from the bags of sleepless nights being replaced with substancs. "Are you high?"

"No." Korvo says immediately. "I'm just exhausted from- from stu-dy-ing." He slowly blinks.

Terry crossed his arms. "You're lying."

Korvo narrowed his eyes, thinking if he was lying or if he was planning to lie or if he already lied. "Um, no?"

* * *

About a month ago, when Korvo asked Terry to go to a party, he was rejected. In fact, Terry took Terri on a date, like a romantic date, instead of fling with Korvo. There were rose petals everywhere with candles and their favorite song. He ordered their favorite food. Terry had to move some furniture around to set up their date. As he held her hand, he said, "I'm in love with you, Terri."

Her smile disappears. This was wrong, unfair to her and unfair to Korvo. She didn't love him back, like he thinks she does. The feelings were platonic and she's grateful for that, but something must be wrong if Terry, the guy who left her for another man, was in love with her again. "I'm flattered but Terry, you don't actually feel that way."

"Of course, I do." He squeezed her hand. "Ever since you kept the baby, I've been feeling things for you."

Terri takes Terry's hand off of hers. "Terry, I think you're confusing your love for the baby with me. I'm not the baby."

He frowns, taking his hands off the table. "But what if it isn't? What if I do love you?" He doesn't look at her.

"You don't love me." She says. "I think you need to go see Korvo."

The next day after Terry went to all of his classes, he decided to buy dinner for Korvo as an apology. He thought of many ways to tell his boyfriend that he nearly went back to his ex just because he was confusing his love for the child with her. When he thinks about it, it's been a while since he's seen Korvo, even being around him. He doesn't know if he loves him anymore, but he can't just leave him. They're roommates, no, they're in a relationship. Korvo loves him, probably the only person who does. On the way to the cafeteria, he realized he doesn't remember what Korvo liked to eat. So he called him.

Korvo sounded weird. He sounded tired and his voice croaked, like he just woke up. It was probably just a nap, Terry thought. 

When he came home, however, Korvo wasn't there and the lights were still on, so he was there prior. He texted his party friends if there was a party happening that he didn't know about, just in case Korvo went to it because he assumed that Korvo didn't go to the last one because Terry didn't go. Maybe Korvo wanted to party at the next one. But there was no party. So he waited. An hour passes. Two hours passed, then four hours, then seven hours. Terry began to think that Korvo was cheating on him. He knows Korvo wouldn't stay out this late, no one would without a reason to.

Terry sat in Korvo's room, looking over his stuff and the picture of them sitting on his desk. Then, he heard the door open. He checked the time. It was 5 am. Something was wrong.

When Terry asked Korvo where he was, and he lied. It was enough for Terry to drop the conversation. He didn't want to hear any more, for fear that Korvo tells him that he's fucking someone else or that he doesn't want to be with him anymore because he's always away. There was no reason for him to be upset because Terry thought he didn't love Korvo anymore, but the thought of Korvo leaving him was painful. He still loves the guy.

Everyday, Terry would go see Terri in the morning then go to class and come home at night to see Korvo, but Korvo would never be home. He'd stay out through the night and come home in the morning when Terry would leave to see Terri. Korvo's "studying" became so excessive that Terry thinks Korvo was going out to see someone else during the night. It didn't make it any better that Korvo would lie to him about it.

Terry paced around in Terri's dorm while she was eating a pickle and tuna. "Calm down, Terry."

"He's been lying to me!" He shouted then he began to bite the nail on his thumb. "What if he's cheating on me?"

"Have you talked to him?" She munched on the pickle.

"No! Because he's been sleeping a lot!" Terry chewed on his nails faster. "You still got some kush?"

"Nah, you smoked it all, remember?" She took a spoon and scooped the tune from the can.

"I'm gonna stop by Steve's to see if he has some." Terry slipped on his shoes.

"Hey, remember when you thought you were in love with me?"

Terry immediately covered his ears, a blush crept on his face. "Shut up!"

"Tell Steve I said hi!" She says as he makes his way to the door.

Terry makes his way to his friend's dorm on the other side of the building. He knocks on the door to be met with his buddy, his face was as dopey as ever. "Terry!" Steve hugs him. "What brings you here?"

"Got any kush?" Terry asked.

"I only got blunts left." Steve says.

"I'll take that."

Steve leaves the doorway to look for the lettuce in the back of his room. He comes back out a few minutes later with a bag of rolled up blunts. "While you and Terri stopped visiting your good pal Steve, I found a new friend to do drugs with."

Terry took his wallet out and counted the amount it would cost. "Oh yeah? You got a new imaginary friend?" He joked.

"Unless my imaginary friends manifested into a human being." Steve says, as Terry handed him the money. "His name's Korvo."

Terry's smile dropped. "Korvo?" He repeated. "He has, like, black hair, brown skin and blue-gray eyes?"

"You know him too?" He hands Terry the bag. "We met at this party and we've been hanging out at night ever since. Oh, and he knows how to make meth. He even told me the recipe for it."

Terry was speechless. It started to make sense to him now. Why Korvo was always so tired and why he'd be home so late, and why he wouldn't remember some things he said the day before. "Thanks, Steve."

When Terry turns, he sees Korvo in the corridor. His eyes were still red and he wasn't wearing his usual get-up. It was an oversized sweater that was nearly revealing too much of his collarbone. He just as shocked too. "Terry." He utters, then Korvo glanced at Steve's door then back to Terry. "What are you doing here?" He spoke slowly.

Terry doesn't say anything, but instead he drags Korvo back into their apartment. He slams the door shut as Korvo flinches at the loud sound. "What the hell are you doing Korvo?" Terry had his hands on his hips.

"I was gonna… study." Korvo lies.

"Really?" Terry scoffs. "You're still gonna lie to me after I caught you."

Korvo stares at the floor. He felt like crying again.

"I come home every night and you're away doing drugs with Steve? I've been worried about you. I thought you cheated on me!" Terry threw his hands up as he huffed. "Now, I kinda prefer that over you being an addict."

"I- I'm not an addict." He does a breathy laugh that sounded like a sigh.

"Have you looked at yourself in the mirror?"

Korvo rubbed his arm and shook his head.

Terry frowns. He wished he knew that Korvo was resorting to drugs. How could he let this happen to his beloved? "Why?" Terry teared up.

He grimaces. He hated how Terry was making it about him. It was always something he looked passed because he liked Terry. "Why are you acting like you're the one hurt by this? You're never here!" Korvo shouted. "All you care about is Terri and your child! You don't have enough room for me in your heart."

After suppressing his emotions for a long time, Korvo cried and the worst part about it was that he was going to remember this. He bit his lip to stop it from quivering.

"T-that's not true." Terry says, remembering the time he confessed to Terri because he thought he was in love with her again.

The tears still streamed down Korvo's face. "I hate you." Korvo stomped to his room and slammed the door shut, locking it. He sank to the floor, bringing his knees to his chest as he sobbed. He hears Terry walk to the door, knocking.

"Korvo, open the door." Terry was crying too. He jangled the knob to see if it was open. "Please, can we talk about this?" Terry's voice cracked as he wiggled the knob harder, as if it'll magically open and Korvo would magically be happy again.

Korvo pulled the baggy from his pocket. His vision was blurred by his tears as he stared at the four white pills in the clear plastic. Korvo grimaced and whipped the baggy somewhere in his room as it made a smack noise when it hit the wall.

Terry leaned his forehead against the door as he weeped. "Are you breaking up with me?"

Korvo sobbed harder into the sleeve of his sweater when he heard those words. He wanted to say no. He wanted to say sorry. He wanted to say that he loves Terry and that he still does. But the words never come out.


	10. Chapter 10

The shirts were neatly arranged as Korvo picked them and slipped them onto his body. He gathered all of his books into his backpack as he left out of his room. The sun was barely up, but he knew the library would be open at this time. Frankly, he didn't want to stay in his dorm anymore.

Korvo has been skipping his classes for the two months he's been high and he needed to catch up if he wanted to graduate by June. The words in the book didn't make any sense to him. The words he wrote looked like gibberish. No matter what, Korvo couldn't focus on what he was looking at. It was as if he forgot how to learn. 

This was bad. "Bad" doesn't even come close to it. Korvo couldn't focus. All he had on his mind was Terry and the pills still lying in his room somewhere. He was going to fail if he can't get himself to study and finish the work he's missed. His finger tapped on the wood of the table while he tried to move past the word "the" in the sentence in the physics' book. The grinding noise his teeth made was too loud and the sound of the fan whirling was too overwhelming. He could hear the machines running in the other room. There was a humming sound in his head, but Korvo couldn't tell if it was him or an exterior force. The library was supposed to be quiet, yet Korvo can't hear himself think. 

The noise stopped when he stood up. He needed to see Steve. 

Terry laid in bed in Terri's spare room. He touched the dried up tears as he began to recall what happened last night. His tears were back. 

After Korvo locked himself in his room, Terry cried himself to sleep by Korvo's door. When he woke up a few hours later, he was in his bed and Korvo was gone. And now he's back at Terri's place.

Terry still hadn't told Terri about this because he didn't want her to worry. But Terri wasn't an idiot, she knew something was wrong when Terry showed up to her place with his eyes all puffy and his nose was red. She didn't ask him what was wrong because she figured he needed the space. 

Now it's the afternoon and Terry still hasn't left his room. He was smoking the blunts he got from Steve, but still the high wasn't enough to make him stop crying. His stomach growled. He hadn't eaten for at least two days now. 

Terri checked her phone. John was supposed to come over today so they could talk about their relationship. She didn't even know what they were anymore. She still cares about John but she wasn't sure he cared about her, though she liked to think he still does. 

There was a knock on the door and Terri opened it to see John. He looked like a mess. There was a beer stain on his shirt, his hair was unkempt and he was growing a beard and a mustache. "I like the look." She joked, forcing a smile. 

He flashed a quick smile as she welcomed him into her dorm. He remembers this place being far more messier, but it's clean now. 

When John took a seat at the table in front of Terri, Terry comes out of the spare room and walks into the kitchen. "Oh, great. He's still here." John says sarcastically.

"John, stop it." 

"Yeah, fuck you, John." Terry says slowly as he opens the fridge and takes out the carton of milk and drinks from it. 

"Terry, you stop it too." Terri rubbed her head. She was already getting a headache from this. "You okay, by the way?"

Terry took a seat next to John with the carton still in his hand. "Korvo dumped me last night."

Terri lets out a small gasp. "Aw, honey. I'm sorry." 

"It's about time." John mumbled, crossing his arms. 

"John!" Terri shouted.

"Fuck you, John. You're a bad friend." Terry blames. "Korvo's lowkey addicted to drugs because of you." 

John's eyes widened. "What?" He hasn't contacted Korvo for a while. He didn't know Korvo was struggling just as hard because of this pregnancy, but John didn't think he would resort to drugs. "Wait, you're blaming me when you're the one who's been coming here instead of being with him?" 

"I have a baby! You're his friend!" Terry shouted. 

"You're his boyfriend! You're supposed to care about him!" John shouted back.

"Enough! Shut up!" Terri yelled. "Stop blaming each other. It's not gonna fix anything." 

John crossed his arms. He pouted. "I thought we were gonna talk about us." 

"Oh, my god. John, do you wanna leave?" Terri snapped her neck at him. 

Terry laughed at John getting scolded by Terri. 

"Don't test me, Terry." She snapped, stopping Terry from laughing. "Okay, look. We're gonna help you get back together with Korvo." 

"We?" John raises a brow. 

"John." Terri warns. "I feel responsible for you guys breaking up, so I want to help. And maybe try to stop Korvo from being an addict."

"Why do I have to help?" John asked. 

"Because you care about Korvo too." Terri answered. 

John sunk in his seat, defeated by Terri's argument. "Fine. What do we do?"

"Find him." Terry says. "He wasn't in his room this morning so he's probably doing drugs somewhere. My guess, he's with Steve."

"Korvo's friends with Steve now?" Terri asked, surprised. "He must be really upset." 

"I'm gonna check Steve's place." Terry says, getting up from his seat and feeling a bit dizzy when he stood up straight. 

"What am I gonna do?" John asked.

"You can stay here with me, and we can catch up." Terri winked at him

Terry pointed at John. "You're not putting your dick anywhere near my baby." Then he shoots a look at Terri, "Terri, I mean it."

"Yeah, whatever." She says as Terry leaves out the door. 

When Terry went to Steve's room, he was organizing his room with the door wide open. "Steve?" Terry called, peeking his head in the door. 

"I'm coming!" He shouts from his room, then seconds later, he comes to the door to greet Terry. "Back again, champ?" 

"Kinda. Is Korvo with you?" Terry asked. 

"Nah, but he showed up earlier and bought some Adderall. Said something about not being able to focus." Steve shrugged. 

Before Steve could offer Terry some new drugs, Terry was already leaving. "Thanks, Steve!" Terry yelled as he made it down the hall. 

Korvo sat in his seat in class. His professors scolded him for skipping, but Korvo wasn't paying attention to him. While Korvo was taking notes for the class, he was also trying to do his other work. He didn't know his mind could work so fast in so little time. He felt like a genius, like his father. 

Then the next class, a girl was trying to flirt with him but he ignored her as he continued to work through his assignments. He felt like a machine, if machines had a consciousness. 

Korvo passed in every single assignment he did in a span of four hours. He was superman today, and he wanted to be superman tomorrow. When the day was over, Korvo couldn't even make it to his room. He was laying on the floor by the door. He realized he hadn't thought about Terry for the whole day. It felt good. The drugs were wearing off. He wanted to be high again. 

Then he remembered the pills somewhere in his room. It could be a treat since he got all of his work done. Korvo told himself to stand up, but he's still lying on the floor. He flinches when he sees the door open. 

"Korvo?" Terry called, looking down at him. "Why are you on the floor?"

Terry closes the door behind him, then he picks Korvo up and sets him on the couch. Korvo's head resting on Terry's thighs. "Terry, I'm sorry. I don't hate you. I'm just jealous."

"It's okay." Terry runs his fingers through Korvo's hair. "I love you."

Korvo opens his eyes to find himself still on the floor. The ceiling lights were burning into his skull as he stared up at them. He struggled to pull himself up to his feet. He had to use the wall for support as he trudged his way into his room. 

The door swung open and Korvo turned to see Terry by the doorway. Terry chased him as Korvo made his way to the room. However, he wasn't fast enough to make it because Terry tackles him to the floor. 

"Get off of me!" Korvo screamed as he struggled to push Terry off. The withdrawal was making him tired again. He didn't want to be sober yet. He didn't want to feel the pain anymore. 

"No!" Terry pinned Korvo's hands to the floor. Leaning down, he kisses Korvo to calm him down. But when he pulled away, Korvo headbutted him, hurting himself in the process.

Terry groaned as his grip slipped. Korvo turned around to crawl on his knees but Terry hopped on top of him, wrapping his arms around his chest. Terry used his weight to hold Korvo still. "Get off! I need it!" Korvo didn't realize the tears were spilling from his eyes. "I need it." He whimpers.

"I'm sorry, Korvo. I'm sorry I wasn't here for you. I'm sorry you had to go through this alone." Korvo stopped struggling. His head fell as he choked on his sobs into the floor. "I love you, but I think you need help." 

And this was how Korvo landed himself in therapy. The doctor doesn't know that he's currently high while he bullshits his way into talking about his "feelings." Korvo became better at lying, and he no longer left bad about it. He had this new ability to keep a straight face while he was completely out of it. The best part was that he barely remembers the therapy sessions and that stupid doctor with the dumb name.

It's been 5 months since Terri had gotten pregnant, and this was stressing Terry out because he had to worry about Terri and Korvo. He didn't like this. It felt like he had to choose which one to care about more.

Korvo stopped by Steve's for some more drugs. Korvo had to make Steve promise him not to tell anyone that he's still getting high.

When Korvo made it back to his dorm, Terry greeted him. "How was therapy?" 

"Great." He lied. It wasn't even working for him. 

As Korvo walked to his room, Terry moved in front of him. He looked into Korvo's eyes. They were still pretty, like wet clouds before the rain, but they were also hollow. "Do you… love me?"

"Yes." Korvo answers, blinking back at Terry. 

"I don't believe you." 

"Then that's not my problem." 

"Is it because I put you in therapy and tried to get you to go to rehab?" Terry asked. 

Korvo stayed silent for a moment, then he said, "Don't blame me for feeling guilty." He pushed passed Terry to get to his room.

"Why do you keep talking to me like that?" Terry says, forcing Korvo to turn around. "I just want to help you."

Korvo sighs. He wanted to drop the conversation. It was becoming too much for him. He didn't want to cry again. "I know. I'm sorry." He walked over to Terry and smooched him on the cheek. 

"You wanna go on a date?" Terry asked before Korvo could escape into his room. He didn't want Korvo to go in there. He's afraid he might go back to getting high again. "I made reservations at this place." 

Korvo couldn't say no because Terry made reservations. He looked at himself in the mirror, and the only thing he feels is disgust. He holds the little white pill in his hand. This was wrong. He was going on a date with Terry and he should at least be sober while he does it. This was the first date they had in a long time too.

"Korvo, are you ready?" Terry called. Korvo opens the door to see Terry dressed up nicely too. They were almost matching. 

Terry drove to the restaurant which was a bit too fancy for his tastes but he wanted to make Korvo feel better. He had forgotten how to do that. They were escorted to their seats by this older waiter guy. Terry looked around to see everyone dressed super nice, people in dresses and suits. He didn't belong here. 

When the waiter brought them some wine, Korvo practically chugged the whole thing. It was ungentlemanly like. The red liquid dripped from his chin and down to the white shirt, making a red stain on it. Korvo brings it down and sees the look on Terry's face. "I was thirsty." He said.

Terry leaned forward and whispered. "Is there something you're not telling me?"

Korvo burps in Terry's face. "No." He smiles. 

"Are you high?" Terry asked.

"No," He kept eye contact with Terry. "I might be a bit drunk though." 

Terry didn't believe him.

They sat and ate. They talked about stupid things, like the fake moon landing or an anime that Terry hates, or rumors going around the school. Terry tried to refrain from mentioning the baby and Terri because of what happened last time. He really wanted to share the progression of the baby though. 

"How are your studies?" Terry asked, knowing that Korvo probably had to juggle school and therapy. 

"It's tough, but I think I can manage." Korvo lied. He's been taking adderall to keep up with the classes but he couldn't tell Terry that. "What about you? Have you been skipping classes?"

"Surprisingly, no." Terry says with a smile. "I've been trying to do better in them. Ever since…" He trailed off, forgetting that he's not supposed to mention the baby. "I've been trying to be responsible."

"Really?" Korvo forced a smile, jealous that Terry was now the responsible one. "I'm happy for you."

When they were finished with their dinner, Terry took him to the place where they went on their first date. They overlooked the city lights and held hands on the cliff. Korvo had his other hand in his pocket. 

Korvo turned to Terry, smitten by his beauty. His heart was beating fast in his chest. Korvo smiles at the sight of his boyfriend. He wishes he hadn't taken the drugs, then he'd see Terry clearer. 

"I don't know what's real anymore." Korvo lets the word spill from his mouth. Terry turns to look into Korvo's eyes. "This feels like a dream. You have no idea how many times I've dreamt of you. I'm not sure if this is real." 

Korvo doesn't really know what he's saying, but Terry was so pretty by the lights. Korvo thinks that Terry might be an angel sent to him, to save him from this shitty planet. Then, he feels Terry touch his cheek and it felt like being electrocuted with love, if love was a physical thing. 

Terry presses his lips on Korvo's. It was like being kissed for the first time. It felt like an explosion of colorful dust. It felt like a miracle on his lips. Korvo pulled away and he could see stars in Terry's eyes. 

"Was that real enough for you?" Terry asked. 

"Mm-mm." Korvo hums. "I need another one to bring me back."

Terry doesn't hesitate, and he kisses Korvo again. This time, Korvo lets his hungry hands touch Terry, pulling him closer to him. His fingers were lost in Terry's hair as they walked back to the car. Korvo sat on the hood of the car as Terry planted kisses on his neck to his ear, making Korvo giggle. He messed with Korvo's buttons and undo them so he could touch Korvo's chest. 

Terry kissed along Korvo's bare chest until he reaches his abdomen. He kept his eyes on Korvo as he unbuttoned his pants, with a devious smirk on his lips. 

"Wait," Korvo stopped him. "Aren't we gonna get caught?"

"You want to stop?" Terry asked, his eyes half-lidded from the lust.

"N-no…" Korvo averted his eyes, embarrassed by his willingness to continue despite being outside.

Terry guided Korvo's hand to his cheek. "Just enjoy it, okay?"

Korvo swallowed hard. He nodded as Terry pulled Korvo's underwear at an agonizingly slow pace. Korvo's breath was caught in his throat when Terry licked around it. He wondered if it was because of the drugs that make every little touch feel tingly. He wondered if this was what true love felt like. 

Terry bobbed his head back and forth, and purposely went slowly just to see Korvo's reaction. Korvo's breath quickened as he was coming close. But before he could get the satisfaction of cumming, Terry stops, making Korvo whine. 

"W-" Terry kisses him, shutting him up. 

Korvo didn't know how, but he ended up in the backseat of the car. He was straddling Terry as he rode him, making the car shake. Korvo intoxicated himself with the taste of Terry's tongue and scent of his skin. He moans when Terry bit him, leaving a mark on his neck. 

"I love you." Korvo breathed as he brought his ass down on Terry's cock. His body has never felt so hot before, probably because he hasn't had sex for at least three months. 

It hurt Terry hearing Korvo say those words. He hasn't told him he loved ever since therapy. He knows it's a lie because he knows Korvo isn't sober. 

When they finished, they laid together cuddling with Terry being the big spoon. Terry was already asleep as Korvo watched him, stroking his cheek with the back of his fingers. "I'm sorry." He whispers. "I want to be better, but I don't know how." 

Korvo still sees the stars around Terry's face. He didn't know if it was a reflection of the lights coming from outside, but regardless Terry still looked breathtaking in his eyes. He slowly blinked until he fell into slumber too. 

The light was burning into Korvo's closed lids. He cracked his eyes open to the sound of birds chirping and Terry sleeping beside him. Looking down, he examines his clothes. His shirt was open revealing his chest and his pants were on but the zipper was open along with the button. Terry was also unkempt too. He realizes that they had sex last night. 

Korvo buried his face in his palms. He recalled that they went on a date as well. His breath became heavier when he realized that he doesn't remember any of it. He quietly sobbed into his hands. He couldn't recall having gone to the restroom to take more pills, but at that point he was blacked out.

They silently drove back to the dorms. Terry wondered if he did something wrong because Korvo seemed upset. When they got home, Korvo locked himself in his room again. 

Then, Terry found himself back at Terri's place again. "He's doing drugs again. You know, I don't think he ever stopped." He paces in a circle in the living room. "What do I do?"

Terri sat on the couch next to John who was touching her stomach. "Try talking to him." John says. 

"I'm trying!" Terry rubbed his temples. "He won't talk to me about his issue." 

"You could threaten to leave him if he doesn't stop." Terri suggested. "Though, it's kinda toxic if you do, but it's for his own good to be healthy again."

"But I don't wanna leave him." Terry began biting on his nails again. 

"That's why it's a threat." Terri says. "Sit down."

Terry listens to Terri and takes a seat. "But what if he gets so hurt by it that he accidentally ODs?" He begins to bounce his leg as he stresses out about Korvo. "I'm sick of having to pretend that I don't know that he's high. And I'm tired of him lying to me."

"Should I talk to him again?" John suggested.

"Remember the last time you talked to him? Korvo went to the bathroom while you were talking and never came back out." Terri explained.

"Yes, thanks, babe. I didn't need to be reminded of that." John got up and went over to Terry, grabbing him on the shoulder. "Look, I think you need to be there for him. Try spending more time with him. Keep him busy so he doesn't stop to do or think about it." 

And that's what Terry did. But it didn't stop Korvo. What stopped him was when he died from an overdose a year after Terri gave birth


	11. Chapter 11

Nothing mattered. Korvo stopped going to therapy all together and lied to Terry saying that he did. However, things went south when Terry found out. Things were thrown, someone got hurt. Korvo didn't feel the pain though. He didn't feel the sting of the glass embedded in his skin, nor did he feel the guilt of scaring Terry. It was the next morning that scared him. 

Terry had packed off of his belongings, not caring if he missed a few items or two. Being anywhere would be safer than being with Korvo right now. When he made his way to the door, Korvo cried, pleading on his knees, not caring if he looked shameful because he certainly did feel it. "Please don't go." He begged, tears stinging his eyes and painted them into a light shade of red.

Instead of looking back and telling Korvo that he'll never leave, that he'll love him forever, like he wanted to, Terry closes the door behind him. The tears never fall when he walks away from the room. John wasn't going to like this. 

Instead of a new dorm, Terry lived with Terri at her dorm even though it was prohibited. They were never the ones to follow rules, which was why they were so alike. By now, Terri was seven months pregnant. And Terry never got a chance to tell Korvo what the gender of the baby was because he didn't want to trigger any unwanted emotions like that one time.

The room was cold but not because the AC was on, it was because of the guilt looming over him. It sent shivers down his spine knowing that he left Korvo at his worst. He couldn't have felt more condemned. especially since he probably made it worse on him. 

The week had passed and Terry never heard from Korvo. There were no messages or calls, no owl that had mail attached to it. He was sure Korvo probably killed himself with the drugs, and he didn't know what to do if that really happened. He thinks he'll die too. And just when his day couldn't get any better, he spots Korvo over by the window in the studying area outside the cafe. He was staring out the window while he tapped his finger over his book following the pitter patter of the rain hitting against the glass. Korvo thought there was some secret code the rain was telling him. It was supposed to be morse code, but Korvo doesn't realize it's only the rain. 

Korvo hasn't been doing copious amounts of drugs, but he was still doing it regardless. It no longer felt good anymore. It felt like Terry. It felt like he couldn't live without it. There was a tap on his shoulder. Turning to see who it was, it was none other than his ex boyfriend, or current boyfriend? He wasn't sure what their status was anymore. The only thing he knew was that he loved Terry and Terry loves him back. 

"Hey." A smile grew on his lips. It was almost a relief seeing Terry here. Korvo was beginning to overthink the rain message. 

"Can I join you?" Korvo moved to make room for Terry on the couch seat. "Thanks."

They sat in silence together, and for the first time in a long time, it was comforting. Korvo stopped thinking and he couldn't keep his eyes away from Terry. It was like taking a picture of a sunset, but instead of a sunset it was Terry. He wanted to keep a mental image of him just in case they actually do go their separate ways, but he hopes they don't. 

"Are you sober?" Terry asked, keeping his eyes glued to the floor. It would be bad if some in wanted emotion arises and they end up causing a scene. 

Korvo looked at his shaky hands and his twitchy fingers. He was anything but sober. The only thing he took today was Adderall and it was only one this time, instead of three. If there was any time to make this right, it would be now. He didn't want to keep lying to Terry or fight him anymore. "No, but it doesn't hurt to try." Who is he kidding? It'll be painful. 

"Will you remember this?" Terry asked. It happened too often where Korvo wouldn't remember the conversations that he has with Terry. He doesn't remember the yelling, the fights, the complaints they'd get from their neighbors because of the ruckus.

"I need something to remember this by." That wasn't the answer Terry was looking for but Korvo figured he'd shoot his shot to steal a kiss from Terry. He knows he'll remember this. 

"I'm serious. " Terry whispered, willing himself not to cry. "I don't want to break up."

It was a stab through the chest hearing Terry say that. But deep down, Korvo knew it was going to happen eventually, but he didn't think it would be so soon. It hasn't even been a year yet since they got together, but still it feels like a long time. "I don't want to either."

"I don't know what to do. I don't want you to die." His voice cracked as he suppressed a cry. "Do you know how scary it is seeing you passed out for hours, days even?" 

Terry looked Korvo in the eyes and all he could see was affliction. Korvo wanted to avoid this. He doesn't have the strength to face it, especially when he's hurting Terry like this. "I'm sorry." Was all he could say. 

Terry's face twitched, it was somewhere between a smile and a frown but it all quickly disappeared. "Sorry doesn't fix you, or us." He takes one last look at Korvo then stands up. 

"Wait," Korvo grabs onto Terry's hand. "Let's go out on a date."

"No offense Korvo, but going on a date isn't going to make you any less of an addict."

"Just…" He pauses, trying to find the words. "Please, let me take you out tonight. It might be our last, so…"

Terry saw the hopelessness in Korvo's eyes, but there was something he didn't expect to see; determination. Korvo was planning something and whenever it was Terry wanted to find out. "Fine. I'll be at your place at seven."

Korvo didn't have a plan for this date.

It was already seven and he picked three top things to do with Terry: a restaurant date, though he doesn't have the money to pay for that, the carnival, too loud and Korvo's planning to be sober for at least 24 hours so loud places isn't gonna do him any good, plus he wasn't looking forward to bumping into people. Then the movies; kinda cheap, not many people will be talking, he could stare at Terry for the whole night like a creep and maybe take a nap. But he's definitely bringing his own snacks. 

Then there was a knock. Korvo opened the door to see the apple of his eye dressed in his sweater with ripped jeans and Nike shoes.

"You took my sweater?" Korvo asked with a playful smirk on his lips. 

Terry matched his expression. "Yeah, it looks better on me." 

Korvo comes closer and hikes a hand on Terry's waist, pulling him closer. He could feel his breath on him. "It looks better when it's off." He whispered in Terry's ear, making him giggle. 

"So, where are we going?" They made their way down the hall together. 

They stood in front of the colorful building that read The Movies. It was a stupid name but it was close enough to campus and the tickets were cheap. "The movies." Terry says. "You should've told me. I would've brought some snacks or something."

They took their seats in the theater all the way in the back. Korvo pulled out M&Ms, Skittles, Snickers, all of the good snacks from his sweater and gave them to Terry.

"Wow, you bad boy." Terry leaned in and planted a kiss on Korvo's lips, but he felt his lips quivering. "You okay?"

"Yeah." He shivered. Korvo hoped that Terry wouldn't notice him already having withdrawals. Terry held onto Korvo's hand and felt them tic under his touch. 

"You're off of it?"

Korvo nodded. "Surprise?" Terry smiles and kisses him again. "I want to try… for you. It's really hard." He whispers. Terry could see how Korvo was struggling by how glassy his eyes were. And still Terry would fall in love with them all over again. 

They kissed again, and the feeling was back. Korvo remembered the euphoria whenever he felt Terry's lips even before he was hooked on drugs. This was- no- this  _ is _ his favorite high. His mouth parted allowing Terry to slip his tongue in as he got his fingers lost in Terry's hair. He bit Terry's lip trying to stop himself from the tremors. It was so painful and so good, and Korvo wasn't sure if he was ready to mix the two. He's spent so much time trying to feel nothing because the pain and pleasure was scarier to deal with. 

Their lips touched with each burning kiss, yet they couldn't stop. Then fear stricken him. These thoughts became scrambled from his need for drugs to his need for Terry. They're almost one in the same. If he could be addicted to opioids, then he could be addicted to Terry too. And Terry was good for him, but Terry didn't make him feel nothing. He only made Korvo breathe faster and made his heart race so quickly that it might explode in his chest. It was the sweet kind torture because when it all goes away there is only him.

Korvo began to shake again and the room got colder. His lip quivered but not because of his withdrawal. A tear escapes his closed eyes when he realizes that he could never be good for Terry. He can try, of course, but trying wasn't enough. 

Terry pulls away. "You're crying."

Korvo couldn't keep his eyes on Terry as he blinked. "I'm really happy." He lies through his teeth. He was scared and tired, and he wanted to get high again. "I love you."

And so, Terry kissed his forehead and they watched the movie. Though, Korvo wasn't watching. He was holding onto Terry's arm, resting his head on his shoulder while he zoned out what was playing in front of him. Then there was music.

Terry pulled him through the crowd of dancing people. They all drank, danced, kissed, and lost themselves to the music and the lights. Everything was slow, his movements, his thoughts, the room with the people moving to the song being played. The sound was wonky and muffled but still audible enough to hear the sounds. But that's not what Korvo cared about.

He had Terry in his arms as he grinded on him on the dance floor. Stars were falling from the sky and covered Terry's hair in dust. Korvo chuckled lightly then stopped. The pretty purple lights reflected off of Terry's face illuminating him in the room, then the color changed again. Korvo wondered how lights worked while he swayed with Terry. They found themselves in each other as they replaced their sadness with smooches. 

"I'm so happy." Korvo carefully enunciated his words as he stared at Terry with dreamy eyes.

It was a shame though.That night never happened because it was all in Korvo's head. The movie wasn't over, however. Terry says something about Terri being in the hospital and they had to leave. 

It felt like Korvo's mind left his body as Terry pulled him out of the theater and into his car. Korvo watched himself watch the lights and other cars pass by as they drove to the hospital. He watched himself follow Terry into the hospital as he frantically asked the receptionist about Terri. She was laying in bed holding her stomach. The doctor said she wasn't going into labor and that it was just a contraction.

This was the first time Korvo saw Terri in a long time. She didn't have the belly last time. And John was here too. He stood by the door as he watched Terry go over to Terri and made sure she's okay. Korvo's hand shook so he held them. He didn't want them to know, but they're sure they all know that he has a problem. He smiled as he glanced at John. Terry kissed Terri's hand and smiled. Korvo's smile fades as he was being reminded of his pain, his inability to make Terry this happy, if not happier.

They sat in the car together while Korvo looked out of the window. "Thank god she's okay. I was scared that she was gonna give birth, though it's kinda early." He glanced at Korvo. "We could finish our date." 

Korvo laid his back on the seats. "I'm gonna call it a day." 

Terry drops his smile. "Oh, okay." 

When they were in the parking lot, they sat in silence. It was warm and comforting. It was cold and agonizing. "Can I sleep over?" Terry asked. He didn't want to leave Korvo alone tonight. 

"Sure." Korvo opens the door. 

When they got back to the dorm, Terry followed Korvo into the room. Korvo doesn't complain but lays in his bed and Terry joins him. "Promise me you'll quit." Terry whispered. 

"I promise." Korvo had his fingers crossed. 

Once Terry was asleep, Korvo pulled out the little baggy of Oxycontin pills from under his mattress. He slowly pulls himself out of bed and into the bathroom. Locking the door behind him, Korvo takes the pill into his mouth and swallows. He stares at himself in the mirror as the drugs begin to kick in. He's no longer shaking, his fingers don't twitch. His vision becomes blurry and he's not feeling anything anymore. 

This is a backwards world, where the colors are dark and intense and the world seemingly stops. His breath slows down again and feels like he's in his own heaven where there was no pain or pleasure. 

He makes it back to bed and kisses Terry's sleeping face. Guilt doesn't compare to what Korvo was feeling. It was as if someone gathered all of his demons and made them into a single entity where it would torment him whenever he was sober, and the only way to get rid of it was to keep feeling nothing. He laid his head on the pillow and hugged Terry. "I really did try." Korvo murmurs. "I'm sorry, I keep disappointing you."

Terry never moved back in with Korvo, but it did make their dates feel exciting, like they were dating for the first time, a young type of love, if you will. Sometimes Terry would show up with flowers and be a cheesy kind of romantic. Sometimes, he would take Korvo to a picnic on a roof top they snuck into, or they'd go to the mall, or the woods to feel nature scolding them.  Today wasn't one of those romantic days.  Today was bitter. Terry shook his head in disappointment when Korvo kept taking bathroom breaks to do heroin. Korvo obviously knew something was wrong when Terry wouldn't look at him. He began to ramble about religious studies because it was one of the classes he thought he would take as a joke. He joked about how his dad would be disappointed in him if he ever found out.

Terry grimaced at every word Korvo said as his jaw clenched creating a vein popping out of his head. For a month, he thought Korvo would get better because he promised him. He thought Korvo would change by staying with him a lot and being there, but he keeps getting pelted with lie after lie. Terry couldn't even look at Korvo. He gave him so many chances to redeem himself but nothing changed. Korvo was still getting high. 

"And then one of the idiot's in class says-"

Terry slammed his fist in the table, breaking the small glass cup and cutting his hand on the shards. "Stop!" Terry shouted, straining his voice. "The least you could do was be sober when we go out." 

"But I-" 

He doesn't even want to hear what excuses Korvo had up his sleeves. He's tired of it. Terry gets up and leaves. 

"Terry, wait." Korvo reaches his hand but the waiter comes and bills him.

Korvo ended up spending the night blacked out high on his couch. He drank down the pills with tequila and he passed out for three days. There could've been a better time for Korvo to do this, but no, he chooses the day of his graduation. 

Terry came into his room to see Korvo passed out on the couch. He runs to him and checked to see if Korvo was still breathing. He was. He smacks Korvo to wake him up and he groans. "Wake up, Korvo!"

Terry went over to the sink and filled a cup with water. He dunks it on Korvo and he sits up, confused by how wet he is. Looking around, he spots his love. "Terry?" He wipes the water from his face to get a better look at Terry, then he sees the cap and gown on him. "What are you wearing?"

"Get up." He says sternly. "It's graduation." 

Korvo forgot about graduation. He was supposed to be finished packing two days ago. "Shit." He realized he was out for three days.  Korvo quickly dressed himself then packed the rest of his belongings and Terry helped him bring the stuff to his car. He leaned against the trunk, rubbing his temple. Outside was too bright and it was blinding him.  Terry pulled him to where the other college students were. Korvo saw Terri and John. Terri looked like she was about to give birth right then and there. He forces a smile to his face. Korvo didn't want to imagine what he looked like right now. His family is gonna be here and they were gonna see how sick he looks. 

Terri comes up to Korvo, always with a smile. "Hey." She greeted. 

He nods at her, acknowledging her presence.

Terri pulled out foundation from her pocket and began to put makeup on his face. Korvo moves his head away from her but she pinches his cheek. "Stay still." She warns. 

Korvo rolled his eyes and stayed put as she dapped make-up under his eyes. They had a similar complexion so no one would notice Korvo wearing makeup. "Why are you doing this?" He asked. 

Korvo and Terri didn't exactly get along. They didn't even like each other. Korvo was jealous of her and she was jealous of him. They have one thing in common though, besides the jealousy, they both care about Terry. However, whenever Terry was frustrated about Korvo he'd go to Terri. She saw his pain. She was there whenever Terry decided to drown himself in alcohol because he didn't want to think about losing Korvo. And it was on his mind a lot.

"You look gross and I'm helping you." She rubbed the dark spot under Korvo's other eye. "I wanna talk."

"About?" 

"You keep hurting Terry and I don't appreciate that." She answers. 

"What are you? His mom?" It was supposed to be a joke, but Korvo wasn't in the right headspace for joking.

"No, I'm better. I'm his friend, and as his friend, I'm telling you to treat my friend better." Terri pulled a little brush from the little case and began brushing it against his skin. “Whatever shit you got going on in your head, I suggest you figure it out quick because I’m not gonna stand here and watch you kill yourself. As much as I don’t like you, I care about Terry. And if you hurt him like that, I’ll never forgive you.”

Korvo bit his lip as he processed what she said. He hanged his head. “I’m not perfect like you.” After so long, he admits his insecurities to the one person he’d never thought he’d confess this to. “I can’t be there for Terry, like you can. I can’t make him happy like you could. I keep failing.”

“Stop that.” She demanded. “Terry doesn’t need me like he needs you. I’m only carrying his child. I’m not his soulmate. Once upon a time, I wished I was in your place. But those days are over now because I have someone else I love more.”

“Is it John?” Korvo flashed a smile.

She shakes her head. “No, it’s this one right here.” She touches her belly, then she puts her makeup stuff back in her pocket. Terri looked him in the eyes with a soft expression. “Please, take care of yourself.”

Then Korvo watched her go. He goes to join the rest of the students who were lining themselves up to go on stage. This was one of the memories Korvo remembered while he was coming down from his high. He reunited with his family while Terry was with him. Terry didn’t invite his family to come because he didn’t need to be scolded on his graduation for being attracted to men. He especially didn’t want them to find out that he has a baby on the way. Terri introduced Terry and Korvo to her family, then she had to explain what their relationship was to them. She had to explain that Terry is the baby’s daddy but he also has a boyfriend. She never mentioned John because they were on a break again. 

Korvo, Terry, and Terri all moved in together in a house in the suburbs. Terry and Terri liked the idea of living together, but Korvo wasn’t too fond of it. As time went by, he started to like Terri because she was able to take care of Terry while he was too high to do anything. They’d all watch movies together, or have dinner together, or play silly games. Korvo felt less lonely and significantly happier. As much as he liked hanging out with Terry and Terri, it still didn't feel enough for him, like his brain was receiving serotonin but he still craved for more. The organic chemicals in his brain weren't enough, so he’d go back to the opioids. He became more careful with his drug use, only taking them at night or when no one was home. 

One day when no one was home, Korvo took one too many hits of heroin, and then Terri went into labor.


	12. Chapter 12

"In Einstein's theory of relativity, time dilation describes a difference of elapsed time between two events, as measured by observers that are either moving relative to each other, or differently, depending on their proximity to a gravitational mass." In other words, a possibility of time travel. Say you're in a train and the train is moving so fast that to the outside observer it looked like you teleported. However, to you, time is slowed down to an agonizing nanosecond that seemly feels like an infinity of the many infinities. It almost feels like time has stopped. You can stop and enjoy the flowers, steal a few donuts, visit a loved one you haven't seen in a while and they wouldn't even know you're there. However, time travel is impossible here on earth, but you can try your luck in space. Time works differently because of gravity. In space, gravity is curved, therefore so is time. 

Going at the speed of light stops time for the object in motion, but if you go faster, time moves backwards, in theory. But there is nothing that can move faster than the speed of light according to Einstein. Unless we're talking about quantum entanglement, then yes, particles can move faster than the speed of light, but it's a different kind of physics that plays by different rules. Plus, Einstein didn't like quantum mechanics anyway. 

Have you ever heard of the story of the twins, one goes to space and the other stays on earth? The one on earth aged significantly more than the one who went into space. It could be time travel, but earth was already toxic to begin with, and nothing can kill you in space besides your own incompetence. Terry thought time travel would be simple with no math or any big words that he doesn't understand. He stands outside in the rain with Korvo holding his hand, a frown on his face, dressed in black. Everyone was dressed in black.

If time travel were possible, a lot of things could happen: Hitler wouldn't have rose to power, there would be no slavery, or maybe constitute humanity to be socially intellectual then there wouldn't be wars or famine, and they'd all live under a totalitarian system where the progression of their race as humans was far more salient than some game of chess for land. If time travel were possible, maybe Terry could somehow bring Terri back from the dead. 

The rain bitterly fell from the sky perfectly hiding his tears from everyone. But he didn't need to hide the fact he was crying. It was pointless to wipe them when the rain would only soak his face. 

It happened a week ago. A week ago, she was alive. 

He got the call at 10:45 pm on a Wednesday. It was from Terry. Korvo pulled himself up from the floor, stumbling as he walked. The floor was suddenly on the ceiling and the room was rotating. It became hard to breathe and even harder to see. He knocked himself from wall to wall trying to make it to the door. Korvo shook his head, trying to sober himself up. "Just breathe" He reminded himself. His boyfriend was having a baby and he can't afford to miss it, though that's kinda an understatement.

He called an uber to rescue him from being late to the hospital. The driver tried to make small talk with Korvo but he was too anxious to continue the conversation. Though it wasn't his child being born, it still felt like it. 

Back at the hospital, Terry sat in the delivery room and held onto Terri's hand as he stroked her hair out of her face, telling her to breathe. Her monster grip crushed his hand as he comically cried in pain. 

The nurse there told her that she could get a C-section instead of a natural birth. Terri knew what a C-section looked like and what it entailed. She's not going to have her stomach taken out of her body and dropped on a cold metal table while they remove the child and have the doctors literally rearrange her guts then stitch her back up.

"No, this is fine." She breathed. Terri groaned loudly as another contraction hit her. "Fuck!"

A minute later John showed up but he didn't go into the room. He watched from outside because he felt like an intruder. He and Terri didn't have the best relationship but he still cares about her. 

Korvo tried to keep himself together. He looks at his feet as he walks. He's so fucked. Korvo moves past John to Terri and Terry in the room. Korvo tried to play it cool so they wouldn't notice that he's high.

When the nurse told Terri to push, she screamed. The pain was insurmountable, but it all stopped when the baby came out crying. 

"It's a girl!" The nurse wrapped the baby in a pink blanket and handed it to Terri. She held her baby in her arms, crying as she gazed at it, overwhelmed with love and joy. She's never been happier in her life. 

Korvo stared at the baby from afar. He always thought babies were gross, but this time, he thought she was beautiful. No wonder Terri was so obsessed with it and why Terry was so avid in protecting it. Now he knows the feeling as well. 

"It's my turn." Terry whispered as Terri gave him the child. 

The baby cooed, grabbing onto Terry's finger. He couldn't believe he made this, a 6'3 guy making such a tiny baby. Her cheeks were reddish and hands were tiny and chubby. Terry cried, kissing the baby's forehead. Korvo stood behind Terry, looking over his shoulder at the baby. The baby was covered in stars and sunshine, and all the love in the world.

"Wanna hold her?" Terry offered. 

He was too high to be carrying a baby. He didn't want to make that stupid joke into a reality by accidentally dropping her. "No." 

Terri smiled, watching her child and her fathers. She never imagined her life would be like this. Terri always imagined her life to be working at a big company and maybe being CEO of it. She'd make bank and be lonely forever. At one point, she had imagined her life with Terry. They'd live in a small apartment together while she worked at a local cafe. Though they were broke, she wasn't alone. Suddenly, it became harder to breathe. Terri gasping for breath became noticeable as the machines began to panic. 

"Terri?" Terry lets the nurse take the baby, as he grabbed onto her hand. "No, no, no, stay with me. I- I can't do this without you." He begins to cry again. 

"Terry." She gasped, struggling to breathe. 

"We're losing her." The nurse says as the doctor walks into the delivery room. 

In that moment, Korvo wondered if this was what his father felt like when he lost his mom due to childbirth. His breath quickened as he began to panic. Terri was going to die and he didn't know what to do. Suddenly, Korvo let his fear and anger fester as he grabbed the doctor by the collar of the shirt. 

"Save her, goddammit!" Korvo had tears in his eyes. He doesn't know what he said next as they both were kicked out of the room. They watched through the window as the nurses and the doctor tried to stabilize her. 

Then the sound came that rang in their ears. Terry had his hands pressed up against the window as he watched the nurses and doctor try to restore her heartbeat with the defibrillator and yelling "clear!" as they shocked her. Within minutes, she was gone. Korvo wrapped an arm around Terry's shoulders as he cried with him. He turns and sobbed into Korvo's shoulder. Korvo rubbed Terry's back then he took one last look at Terri. 

They sat in the waiting area for the baby. John had his seventh cup of coffee already. "This is all my fault." He blamed himself. 

Terry sat and stared at nothing. She was alive a few hours ago. He couldn't believe she was really gone. Korvo was beside him, his eyes were red too from crying. He was hunched over, his elbows digging into his knees as he interlocked his fingers together and had it over his mouth. He couldn't stop thinking about his mother. He wondered if he caused her this much pain. He wondered how he would ever live with this. He wondered if the child would blame themselves like he did. 

There was commotion happening in the hospital and Terry quickly noticed. He overheard the nurses panicking about a patient leaving without their baby.

"The mother just got up and left. There's no information on her." The nurse says. "We're gonna have to put the child up for adoption." 

Terry jolted as he went up to the nurses. Korvo noticed and followed. "Where are you going?" He asked

"Hi," Terry greeted the nurses. "I overheard you talking about a child's mother leaving and I was wondering if I could adopt them."

Korvo's eyes widened when he realized what Terry was doing. He didn't know if they could afford to take care of two children. "Terry-"

Terry puts an arm around Korvo's waist, pulling him in closer and faking a smile, acting as if he wasn't just crying over Terri dying. "My husband and I would like to adopt." He smiled.

"W-well, no one has claim on the child and we need to do the paperwork first." The nurse says.

"That's fine." Terry says. "The same thing happened to me when I was born, so I feel obligated to help." 

The nurse's expression softens. "I'll make sure the child goes to you." Then she had Terry sign some papers, but when it came to naming the child Terry was called by another nurse to sign some papers for his child, and left Korvo in charge of signing the rest of the papers for the adoption. 

"Yumyulack." The nurse read. "What a unique name." She smiled. 

Little did she know, Korvo was high as hell and didn't know what the hell he was writing. Yumyulack seemed like a cool name to him, even though he wrote something completely different on the birth certificate.

After they were finished signing the papers, Korvo, Terry, and John stood in front of the incubator room. The nurse had shown them which child was Yumyulack. 

"Hey, guys." John called while looking at the babies in the room. "If you need help raising the kids, don't hesitate to call." He figured he owes it to Terri, seeing as her child is the only thing left of her now. He wipes a tear before it falls. "I'm gonna go." His voice cracked. But before he leaves, Korvo pulled him into a hug, seeing as he was taking this just as hard. 

"Be careful when you drive home." Korvo says. 

John smiles and nods. And he's gone. It was only Terry and Korvo now. 

Korvo hugged Terry from behind. He thought back to when Terry called him his husband. "Did you mean it when you called me your husband?" Korvo closed his eyes, burying his face in Terry's back. 

"Is it a bad idea that I want to marry you someday?" Terry didn't want to think about marriage right now but it was a lot better than Terri's passing. 

"No." Korvo hugged him tighter with a smile on his face. 

Terry touches the window to where his baby was. He wanted Terri to see this too. He trembled as he cried and Korvo held him while he did. They'd imagine being parents together, not like married parents, but best friends as parents. It was mostly because they were excited to have a kid. Would things have been different if they didn't have a child together? Probably. 

48 hours after. The babies come home. When they got home, Terry looked at the papers for Yumyulack and saw that his name was Yumyulack. 

"You named our son Yumyulack?" Terry asked, setting the baby carriage on the couch. 

Korvo had little recollection of doing anything while they were at the hospital, but he can't tell Terry that. "I thought it was a cool name."

"He's gonna get bullied at school." Terry joked. 

Korvo sighs, hanging his head. He fucked up. "Yeah. I know."

Terry comes over to Korvo and kisses him on the cheek. "You know I was joking, right?"

He didn't. It was becoming harder to tell the difference between solemnity and satire. Instead of helping Terry, he passes out on the couch. Then Terry realized he was most likely be the only one raising the kids

The first week of being a father was hard for Terry because Korvo would do things wrong and Terry would have to fix it. If there was one thing Korvo was good at while playing daddy, he never fails to make the babies stop crying. It warmed Terry's heart seeing Korvo make the babies laugh.

Almost every night, Terry would talk to a picture of Terri about how the kids were doing, how he was doing and Korvo. Speaking of Terri, the funeral was in a week and Terry had to pay for the whole thing. He felt terrible because he had to face her family. He already blames himself for her death and to have her family do it too, was like a punch in the gut. 

Korvo came up behind Terry and wrapped his arms around his abdomen, holding him while he grieved over Terri. "Are you sober?" Terry finds himself asking that so often that whenever he's around Korvo he feels obligated to ask. 

"Yeah." Korvo says and he wasn't lying this time. "The kids are asleep, by the way. Are you tired?"

"No." Terry answered. 

"You haven't been sleeping." Korvo was worried for Terry because ever since Terri died, Terry slept very little and barely ate. "I'm worried."

"Don't be. I'll be fine." Korvo watched as Terry got up and went into the bathroom. He was going to cry again, and Korvo knew that. What he didn't know was how to get him to stop. Maybe he just needed to grieve and get it over with. 

Unlike Terry, who's handling this in a healthy way, Korvo has been doing the same old thing since college. He took out the pill and looked at it in the light in the room. Rolling the pill between his fingers, his consciousness screams at him to stop. Korvo's mind was blank as he was tuning out any semblance of right and wrong in his head. The thought popped into his head: he's a bad father. 

He began to think about how his dad did it, how he raised Korvo. What did he think? What did he do? Of course, his aunt was there to help but still, he wondered if his dad ever felt alone.

Instead of getting high tonight, Korvo pulled out his phone to call his dad. And he answers. He still hadn't told him about what happened with Terri yet. What better time to do it than now. 

"Dad, I'm a bad person." He admits as he chokes up. The emotion was already hitting him. He should've taken the OC.

"You're not bad. What happened, son?" He sounded worried. 

"I'm a bad friend, and an even shittier boyfriend. I suck at being a father." His voice cracks through his sobs. "Terry's gonna leave me one day and I'm gonna die alone."

"Korvo, calm down." His dad tried to reason with him. "Tell me why you're upset."

"Terri died."

"What? what happened to him?" Mister Korvo thought he meant Terry.

"Not my boyfriend, Terry. I meant Terri, the mother of his child. She died … after she gave birth." He wiped his tears. 

"Oh," Korvo could hear him breathe over the phone. "I'm sorry." 

"It's been hard to deal with, and Terry hasn't gotten over it, neither have I." Korvo inhales deeply, then lets the air out. "I feel lost. I think I have been for a while now, but this time it's different. I have two kids to help raise and- and I don't know what I'm doing." 

His father was quiet for a moment as he took some time to think about what Korvo said. "When Kira was born," Korvo rolled his eyes at the sound of his sister's name. "I didn't know how to be a father either and your mom was just as confused. Don't tell Kira. She was an accident, but it helped your mother and I learn what it means to be a parent. We no longer thought about ourselves and began thinking about her. Then Kira got older and your mother wanted to keep her dependent on her, because to your mother, it was a lot better to care for someone else than it is to care about yourself. But it's also important to care about yourself too." 

Korvo smiled, thinking back to when he graduated and Terri told him that. "She told me the same thing." 

"The secret to parenthood is love." Mister Korvo says. 

Love. It was something Terri said she always wanted to feel and in the end she did. It was easy to love someone else but to love yourself was challenging for Korvo. He hated himself for as long as he could remember and now it's only getting worse. Then he remembers the love his father gave him even if it wasn't in his best interest, though it was mostly Korvo's fault for neglecting to talk to his father more. Whatever love Korvo's mother had for him, and Terri for her kid, Korvo wanted to give that too. "I'll remember that."

"So, I have _two_ grandchildren." Korvo could hear the smile in his voice. 

"Yeah." Korvo laughed, embarrassed that he didn't mention it earlier. "We adopted a kid because his mother left the hospital." 

"That's good. I'm proud of you, son."

"Thanks, dad." Korvo says in english, then he goes back to portugese. "You know Terry was adopted because his mom left him at the hospital. That's probably why he wanted to adopt the child." 

"What about you? Did you want to adopt?" Mkster Korvo asked. 

"I didn't get a chance to have a say in it." He answers. "But the night I took him home, it felt like he was mine." 

Mister Korvo chuckles through the phone, happy that Korvo was telling him about this." So, what are the children's names?"

"Jesse and Yumyulack." Korvo smiled as he thought about his kids. 

"Yumyulack?" Mister Korvo repeated. "Were you guys drunk?" 

High, actually. "I thought it was cool name." Korvo laughs when he hears his father laughing. 

"It's a great name." He complimented. "I can't wait to meet them."

Korvo and his dad talked some more, but he fails to mention his addiction. He didn't want his dad to worry about him even further. Terry watched through the cracked door of the bathroom. He smiled even though he didn't know what they were saying, but he could tell by how Korvo sounded that he was getting a lot of stuff off his chest. Maybe it'll get Korvo to stop doing drugs. 

It's the day of the funeral and it was cloudy. The clouds reminded Terry of Korvo's eyes, then he felt Korvo hold his hand. Terri was in the casket holding flowers and wearing a black dress. Then, her family showed up. Immediately, Manny, Terri's oldest sister hugged Terry. 

"The world is too cruel." She said in his ear. 

Jacky was obviously pissed because she refused to look at Terry. Her parents were more sad about her being gone than being mad at Terry. They knew that Terry loved her too. 

John was babysitting the kids because he couldn't face being at her funeral. He thought that if he didn't go, she wasn't really dead. 

After the funeral was over, after she was put six feet into the ground, Terry still stayed. The tombstone read: _Terri Davis, 1994-2018, A great daughter, a great sister, and a great mother._

Terry has read that over a thousand times already. He still can't believe that she's really gone, besides her body in the ground. The rain fell on him as he sobbed and Korvo held his hand the whole time. 

If time were to go backwards and Terri was alive, would things have been different? No, because there would be some other time that she would die, or another worse situation. It was fate and it is cruel. Terri only lives on in their memories.


	13. Chapter 13

The cure for self-loathing finds its way into Korvo's system again as he lays on the pillow, unable to move or think about how much he hates himself. He didn't have to worry about the kids because Terry has them. They all went out to see Terri's family because they wanted to meet the babies. They commented about how Jesse looked like Terri but has Terry's eyes and hair color. They all thought Yumyulack was cute because he always looked angry, but Korvo wasn't there to hear this. He imagined it would be what they would say. 

The sun shone through the window at just the right angle to reflect the light bouncing off of the dust particles to be visible to the human eye. Korvo tried to catch them like a child playing with snowflakes. He appreciated the simple moments like these where he didn't have to think too hard or feel too much. The dust danced for him as the setting sun kissed him goodbye, and the dust slowly disappeared into the dimness of the room.

His eyes became heavy as the sirens of slumber tried to lull him to sleep. Korvo had to be awake so he didn't have to disappoint Terry again. He's been doing that too often now. It doesn't feel great, of course, but the elixir of complete nullity was so much better. Terry will forgive him. Korvo hoped that Terry won't. He doesn't deserve his forgiveness. 

Korvo was laying in bed, nearly about to fall off when Terry came into the room. His lips pressed together in a thin line. It has been the 15th time this month that Korvo would pass out like this. Terry could count the many places Korvo has passed out in. Once it was in the bathroom, then the kitchen, on top of the dining table, on the couch, in the backyard, somehow. Korvo passed out in the doorway leading into their bedroom and Terry had to tiptoe his way around his body and drag him to bed. He was starting to think Korvo had no shame in his abuse of narcotics. Sometimes Terry had to call John to babysit the kids and Korvo while he took his shift at work. 

Whenever Terry was home from work and he put the kids to bed, making sure that they were asleep, he'd pull out some poison and drink it down until he was numb. He'd crawl into bed with Korvo, or on the floor, wherever he was passed out, and laid with Korvo. The alcohol never failed to make him sob until his throat ached, and still he would choke down the liquor until he passed out too. 

Every morning he'd wake up hungover and Korvo would still be asleep. Sometimes, Terry would find himself in their bed and Korvo was next to him, facing the other way.

Tonight would be the same as any other night when Korvo's passed out like this. However, Korvo woke up when he felt Terry touch him. Terry grabbed the bottle and drank it down until it hurt to swallow any more. Korvo's eyes were hazy and he could barely open them. Terry sets the bottle down and lowered himself into Korvo's arms as he wrapped his arms around him, laying his head on his chest. 

The thumping in Korvo's chest was so slow that Terry was sure he was actually dead. For a moment, he would be okay with dying with Korvo like this. It was sad, pathetic and poetic that two broken people would die in each other's arms. 

There have been times when Korvo would be blacked out but was still able to function like a normal human being. The only problem was, he could never remember what happened. So, if he was fired from his job, he wouldn't know why. Luckily for him, he was fairly likeable by his fellow engineers. They all thought he was a genius when really he was high out of his mind. Those thoughts and ideas weren't really his if he wasn't there to come up with them. 

One of the few times he was out of it, he held Yumyulack in his arms while holding the baby bottle as baby Yumyulack drank from it. He looked up to see that Terry had taped the baby bottle to his chest and pretended to breastfeed Jesse like a mother would. 

"What are you doing?" Korvo asked. 

"I don't want them to miss out on what mothers do." Terry went back to feeding Jesse. 

Korvo looked around, thinking that Terry might be onto something. He's never had a mom either and look how he turned out. Korvo didn't want Yumyulack to suffer the same fate as him. "Sh-should I do that too?" 

Long story short, Terry and high Korvo taped baby bottles to their chest while feeding their kids. It wasn't Korvo's best moment, but he's glad he couldn't remember that memory. 

The night was moist and cool, but kinda sticky because the air was wet. The light of the lamppost reflected off of the wet ground and back up at Korvo as he held Terry's arm around his shoulder, practically keeping him from falling to the cement of the street. Terry had one too many drinks when they went to a neighbor's house party. Korvo wasn't high enough to be out of it, but he wished he was. It was embarrassing having Terry drunkenly climb the table and attempt to strip dance, but when Korvo pulled him down, Terry tried to fight someone at the party. They were real adults, unlike Terry and Korvo who were just college students yesterday. 

Korvo didn't want the neighborhood to hate them, then they'd have to move and they couldn't afford that. So, now they're stumbling into their house and Terry was mumbling something about Korvo being an addict. 

Terry plopped on the couch and laughed. "Did you see that guy's face when I punched him?" He punched the air reenacting what he did to the guy at the party. 

"What's your problem?" Korvo asked, clearly pissed off at Terry's behavior. 

"What's _your_ problem? When did you become so boring?" Terry spat.

The thought stuck in his head like hot glue, Terry thought he was boring. "I'm just worried about you. You usually don't drink this much." Not since college anyway. 

Korvo was left unaware of Terry's alcoholism because he would be left unconscious by the happy pills. He had no idea Terry had become dependent on the bottled liquid courage. "You're always too high to notice anyway." Terry slurred. 

Korvo's heart skipped. "What- what do you mean?" 

Terry pushed himself up, wobbling a bit in his stance. He moves towards Korvo, poking at his chest. "Yooou know what I mean, fucking drug addict." 

It hurt. Maybe hurt was an understatement. It was more like crushed, the kind where you were beaten by clowns with their clubs, honking horns and mirthful laughter that didn’t feel so generous to spare your feelings. And Korvo didn't know what to say. "I'm trying. " His voice was small.

Terry didn't know why, but it pissed him off hearing Korvo say that. He had promised him that he'd quit but Korvo was still doing it. "You keep saying that, but you never change! Sometimes I think you don't even want to be with me, like you get high just to be out of it so you don’t have to deal with me!" 

"That's not true." Korvo tried to grab onto Terry's arm but he just pushed him away.

"Fuck you." Terry flipped him off. "The kids are gonna be fucked up because of you."

That was it. The fact that Terry brought the kids into this made Korvo mad. He didn't want to involve his child with his problem. "Don't bring them into this." 

"And what are you gonna do? OD in front of them they'll run away screaming, 'daddy, daddy!' And next thing you know, they're traumatized by their father's overdose. Face it, Korvo, you can't change the fact that you're fucked up!" Terry shouted, hurting his voice.

"Fuck you, Terry! You're no better. You didn't have parents to raise you properly.. The kids are gonna be fucked up because of _you!_ " Korvo shouted, then Terry launched himself at Korvo and they landed on the couch.

They fought off each other and rolled onto the floor with Korvo on top. "I'm so glad we didn't get married because I'd divorce you in a second!" 

"Good, because I can't fucking stand you!" Terry kicks Korvo off of him as they both slowly get to their feet. 

"If you can't stand me, then just leave!" He had tears in his eyes. 

"Fine! Maybe I will!" Korvo turned around and it made Terry's heart sink onto his stomach.

He runs after Korvo. "No, wait." His voice trembled. "Korvo, please don't go." He held onto Korvo's arm, preventing him from moving. 

Korvo turned to face Terry and he saw that he was crying too. Terry grabbed the collar of his shirt and pulled him into a kiss. Korvo slithered his hands around him, pulling him closer. Terry sobbed into the kiss, gasping while he did. He felt Korvo's tears on his skin and tasted the saltiness of it. It was bitter like him.

They stood there while they got drunk off of the other's kisses, as the pain ate away at them. "This is bad for us." Terry says mid kiss

"I don't know how to stop." Korvo whispers, still capturing Terry's mouth with his own. 

"I hate you." He doesn't mean it. Terry wanted to hate him so bad because all Korvo did was cause desolation in his heart, but that wasn't the worst part. The worst thing about Korvo was that, no matter what, Terry knew he would still love him.

"I hate me too." He breathed into Terry's mouth, then Terry began to strip Korvo of his clothes, pulling at the fabric, not caring that he ripped away at his shirt. And Korvo did the same but made sure not to tear away at any fabric. 

Terry tripped over his pants and fell on Korvo like anime. He chuckled, as the feeling was familiar. "Remember when we-"

Korvo shuts him up with a peck to the lips. "I remember." He smiled, remembering the time he was so enraptured by Terry. That feeling never went away. 

Just like their first night, Korvo locked his fingers with Terry's as they had sex on the floor of their living room. When they were done, they laid on the floor together. The sex was always great but these kinds of sex, where they needed it rather than want it, felt like it was the only way to make up. And Terry didn't want that anymore. There needed to be another way to fix their relationship, but most importantly, to fix him. Terry couldn't keep drinking his problems away or have sex with Korvo every time they fight. This was bad for them, and he knows that Korvo knows that too. 

Korvo laid beside Terry, playing with his boyfriend's fingers. Terry asked, "What do you think about therapy?" He thought he’d ask because Korvo went to therapy.

“What’s there to think about? It didn’t help me, but I guess it’s different for everyone.” Korvo hoped that the kids didn’t hear them fight. Most importantly, he hoped that they wouldn’t remember hearing them fight. The last thing he wants is to traumatize them. 

The days go by and Terry becomes tired of drinking himself to sleep every night and having small fights with Korvo. He didn’t want to go to therapy because of Korvo’s opinions on it, but at this point where the fighting became mostly his fault because he’s too drunk to think straight and he blamed Korvo for everything while Korvo was just trying to be better, he decided to go to therapy. Terry had John over to babysit the kids while he went to therapy and Korvo would be at work while he did it. He didn’t want Korvo to know that he needed help because he was scared that he’d think less of him, even though it wasn’t true.

Things had to change and Terry wanted to be the first one to do it, and inspire Korvo to do the same. Though he knows that Korvo can't change.


	14. Chapter 14

White. Everything was white from the ceiling to the floor, even the tables and the vase that held a single red rose on Miss Ramos' desk. Her hair was usually up in a bun but lately she'd show up with her blond locks down. She wore more makeup that made her significantly more noticeable and she had a beauty mark on her cheekbone under her eye. Among this dull room, she was stunning. And Terry never noticed. 

She had an infatuation with Terry. How could she not? He was tall, like her, and his hair was light-ish brown. Not to mention his eyes were green. She also thought Terry was an idiot, which is exactly her type. 

Most of the time, she zones out while Terry talks about his problems, but she never fails her focus whenever Terry mentions his boyfriend. She had asked if he was gay and he said he wasn't.

"And yet you have a boyfriend?" Miss Ramos didn't understand.

"Yes?" He was confused by her confusion. To Terry it didn't have to make sense. He likes whoever he likes and their gender didn't matter to him. It was all about chemistry.

"Do you… like girls?" She asked, sticking a pen in her mouth, right in between her pearly whites. 

"I like everyone." He says, not sure why his sexuality mattered to her. It wasn't going to help him with his problems. 

The next week Terry wouldn't shut up about Korvo and it made Miss Ramos especially mad. She got herself all pretty for him and he didn't seem to notice or care, because Terry didn't care. He just wanted to talk about his feelings and maybe some advice. However, he doesn't get that from Miss Ramos. 

She began to come closer to Terry, like leaving the comfort of her seat behind her desk and sitting in front of Terry. At times, she would even sit next to him while he vented. Terry began to notice something wrong when she touched his chest and brought her face closer to his personal space, which was really close. 

He scoots away from her, feeling extremely uncomfortable. "I'm sorry." He says as her face drops to a disappointed frown. "I'm in a relationship."

"I know." She says, getting up from the couch. "You mention it one too many times. How could I forget?" That was sarcasm.

"Anyway, Korvo has been-" 

"You know what I think!" She says a bit too loudly, because she was tired of hearing about this Korvo person. "You should distance yourself from him. You know, have some time to yourself. It works great for couples who are struggling." 

And Terry followed her advice. 

Whenever Korvo was home, Terry wouldn't talk to him or be in the same room as him for long. Terry would face away from Korvo whenever they slept in bed together. It became torturous for Terry because he noticed how it was affecting Korvo. But regardless, he still continued because he believed it would save their relationship because the therapist said so. 

To Korvo, it just seemed like Terry was ignoring him because he was unaware of Terry seeking therapy. The first night Terry ignored him, Korvo didn't notice it because he was high. However, when he wasn't high, he began to think it was because of his drug abuse. It's the only logical thing that Terry would be mad at since they used to fight about it all the time. And this was when Korvo went to John for help. 

Unknowingly, Korvo vented to John about his relationship with Terry and his issues. "I want to be better for him." Korvo would say. 

"Then stop taking the opioids." John would say back.

"I don't know how to stop." Korvo says.

"Well, eventually, you're gonna have to choose." John made a good point because Korvo would choose Terry in a heartbeat, but he didn't know if he would completely let go of his happy pills. 

"I'll try." 

"Try harder." 

Instead of getting high, Korvo decided to go to the costume store so he could try to get Terry's attention. When he came home, Terry was sitting on the couch in the living room with the kids while eating popcorn. They were all watching Sesame Street together. 

"Terry." Korvo calls, and Terry turns to see Korvo in a banana suit. 

Terry tries his best to stop himself from laughing, so he's just smiling at Korvo in the suit. "Why are you in a banana?" 

Baby Jesse looks over to see Korvo in a big yellow thing that kinda looks like Big Bird. She reaches both her tiny baby hands to him, saying, "Bih buh!" 

"I wanted to change how I dressed." Korvo's smile grew as Terry's did. He goes over to pick up Jesse as she stares at him, touching the costume. "I think Jesse likes it. What do you think?"

Terry tried his best to keep himself composed. "It looks nice." He forced the smile down so his face is stoic again. 

Dammit, it didn't work, Korvo thought. He had to do something else. If Terry smiled then there must be progress. 

The next day, Korvo came home dressed as a lumberjack. He had a fake beard and everything, but Terry still wouldn't talk to him, and Yumyulack seemed to like it because of the beard. He pulled on Korvo's fake beard and cried because it came off and he thought it broke Korvo's face. 

"Great, you made him cry." Terry takes Yumyulack from Korvo's arms. 

"I'm the one who's crying." Korvo tears up. "He snagged my beard." 

Terry cradled the baby in his arms. "Aw, poor baby. You want a kiss to make it better?" He teased.

Korvo raised a brow. "Will you-"

"No." He gives baby Yumyulack a kiss on the forehead when he stops crying instead. Yumyulack looks at Terry and coos. 

"Someone's a favorite dad." Korvo scoffs, crossing arms. 

"Don't worry, Korvo. You're my favorite." Terry says, then he quickly realized what he said. He was supposed to be distant with Korvo, and he forgot. "I- I mean…" He blushes. 

Korvo just leans in and kisses Terry on the cheek. "You're my favorite." Yumyulack blew a raspberry when he saw his parents being gross. Korvo notices and pats Yumyulack on the head. "And you too."

However, the day after, instead of coming inside his home, Korvo rang the doorbell. Within minutes, Terry answers and sees Korvo dressed as a pizza delivery man, holding a pizza box. He tries again to suppress his smile because he thinks Korvo is being cute with these costume ideas.

"You ordered a pizza with extra sausage?" Korvo says while wiggling his eyebrows with a smirk played on his lips.

Terry flashed a smile but he quickly became serious again. "No." He watched enough porn to know where this was going. Though, he kinda wished it was going where he thinks it's going to go. 

"That's too bad." Korvo says in a teasing way. "It's gonna get cold." 

Terry stared at the box, then back at Korvo. "Is there actually pizza in that?" 

He moves past Terry and into the house, handing him the box. Korvo hangs his pizza man hat on the coat hanger by the door. Terry opens the box to see a hole in it. Immediately, he bursts out laughing, dropping the box. Korvo smiles, holding Terry's hand as he watches him hunch over laughing. Terry wipes a tear away as he calms down. 

Terry wants to tell him about therapy and why he's been so distant but he didn't want to ruin his progress. He's determined to fix his relationship and his family. It was sweet of Korvo to try to "cheer him up" even though Terry wasn't upset with him in the first place. 

The night was cold, but it wasn't bitter. It was calming and cool, the kind where solitude didn't feel all too bad, but company was still missed. They faced away from each other in the bed, and Terry felt Korvo turn in his sleep. He felt him come closer, pressing his warm body against his back. Terry felt Korvo's hard cock against his butt as his chilly hands roamed from his hips to his chest. He opened his eyes, his face was hot when Korvo kissed the nape of his neck and sending shivers down his spine. 

"Korvo, I'm trying to sleep." Terry breathed a smile growing on his face, and he didn't want him to stop. 

However, Korvo continued to kiss him and reached down to grab Terry's already hard member, giving it a soft stroke on the tip. Terry gasped. "Shh… don't wanna wake the kids."

Korvo releases his hand and Terry turns to see his boyfriend in the pizza delivery costume. Then he wakes up to see the sun coming up through the trees, and Korvo still asleep beside him. Terry looked down to see his boner making a tent under the blanket. When he opens it, there's a wet spot on his crotch. "Fuck." He ruined his pajama pants. 

It _has_ been a while since he and Korvo have been intimate with each other. To be honest, Terry really liked the costumes. They were funny and Terry wanted to rip the cheap fabric apart and get the goods that is Korvo's body, but he had a mission. It made him guilty for having to shut Korvo out every time he tried to talk. He knows Korvo is struggling just as much as he is. Korvo was about to tell Terry last night that he's been clean for about three days, but he never got a chance to say it because Terry made it clear that he didn't care, even though that wasn't his purpose. 

He was back in the office again, waiting for Miss Ramos to enter the room. He rehearsed what he wanted to say a thousand times on the drive here. Terry hoped that she would see things his way. 

Miss Ramos entered the room, smiling, and dressed in a tight black pencil skirt that high-lighted her curves, with a pink blouse that revealed a bit too much. "Good afternoon, Terry." She was still trying to sound sexy. 

"Hey." He waves awkwardly, his eyes roaming the room as she goes to take her seat next to him. "So, um. I was thinking that this might not be working."

"What?" Miss Ramos thought he was talking about doing therapy in general. as much as she would love to take his money, she was mostly interested in Terry. She didn't want him to go yet. She didn't get a chance to make him hers. 

"I mean distancing myself from Korvo." Terry finished. 

"Oh." She couldn't believe he's still doing that. What an idiot, she thought. Might as well continue if it fucks up their relationship enough for Terry to come to her for comfort. "No, keep going. It's all part of the process." 

Terry sank into the couch. He didn't want to keep going. 

Miss Ramos noticed his demeanor and touched his arm, reassuringly. "Hey, it'll be okay. It just takes time." _For your relationship to end and for me to have you_ , she thought.

Terry averted his eyes, tensing up under her touch. He decided not to tell her about his wet dream about Korvo.

It was his only day off and the costume ideas weren't working to their full potential. Korvo thought he would do something special for Terry because it was about to be Valentine's day in a few hours. Last year, he didn't plan anything because he thought holidays are stupid but it's Terry, he likes those things. Looking around his house, he figures he can't do it alone because he had to feed the kids and change their diapers while also trying to decorate the house and cook. He called John.

Within minutes, John busted through the door. "What happened?" He sounded frantic. He sees Korvo standing in the living room holding red heart wall decorations and christmas lights. 

"Good, you're here. Hang this up." He goes over to John and hands him the decorations. 

"You said it was an emergency." John watches as Korvo goes into the kitchen.

"It is." Korvo called from the kitchen. "A relationship emergency." 

John groans, dropping the decorations and follows Korvo into the other room. Baby Jesse and Baby Yumyulack were sitting in baby chairs. Jesse was giggling and slapping the little desk while Yumyulack was trying to throw something at Korvo but missed because he has little baby hands. John leaned against the doorframe as he watched Korvo attempt to feed Jesse strawberry and banana baby food, which is the best one by the way. "Korvo, as happy as I am to be part of this family of yours, you can't call me for relationship stuff." 

Korvo handed the other can of baby food to John so he could feed Yumyulack. "John, I don't have a lot of friends. And I trust you." John takes it and tries to feed him, but Yumyulack smacks the spoon away and giggles.

"I swear, Yumyulack is a devil child." He grimaces.

"Hey, that's my son you're talking about." Korvo narrowed his eyes. He sets Jesse's food away from her just in case she might drop it or accidentally drown herself by drinking the contents. He snatches the can from and spoon from John, then tries to feed Yumyulack who just turns away from the spoon held to his face. "If you don't eat, you're gonna die." He tells Yumyulack, even though his baby doesn't know about the concept of life and death.

Yumyulack still backed away from the spoon. "Wow, tough kid." John commented. 

"How does Terry do it?" Korvo dropped his shoulders. Terry usually just sticks the spoon in Yumyulack's mouth before he could refuse. Korvo thought he would do the same and it worked. Yumyulack smacks his lips together, tasting the food. "I think he likes it?"

John was feeding Jesse but the food kept falling from her mouth. "You ever wonder why Terry named her Jesse, with like the boy spelling."

"Uh, he said something about Terri's family tradition, where they would name the girls with boy names." Korvo wiped Yumyulack's face with the baby bib. He reached for the can of baby food because he wanted more. "No, Yumyulack, you ate it all." Korvo says casually, setting the glass can on the counter.

When John finished feeding Jesse, he helped Korvo clean and put the kids in the baby swing while they watched sesame street.While John helped Korvo hang the lights and the other decorations, he asked, "how long have you been clean for?" 

"A week now." Korvo sprinkled rose petals on the floor from the basket. 

John asked while putting candles around the house in a safe place just in case it doesn't fall over and burn the house down. "You think you're gonna relapse again?"

"God, I hope not." Korvo says. "Without it, I feel… great." 

"That doesn't sound very genuine."John commented while lighting some of the candles. 

"Well, it's been hard. And it doesn't help that Terry's been distant towards me." Korvo pouts. 

John looked away. He promised Terry he wouldn't tell Korvo that he's been in therapy. Was this distancing part of the therapy? It could be but it wasn't any of John's business. "I'm sure he has a good reason." 

"You think so?"

John averted his eyes. "Yes." He wasn't sure. 

After John finishes up helping Korvo and putting the kids to sleep, he takes his leave and pats Korvo on the back. "Thanks." Korvo says. 

"Don't worry so much. You're gonna get another gray hair." He jokes, then leaves the house before Korvo could hit him for making that joke. 

The babies looked up at Korvo from their cribs. He smiles at them. Taking a chair, he sits in front of the crib as they watch him. "Guys, I think your dad hates me and I don't know what to do." 

Jesse makes baby noises and Yumyulack just stares blankly at him. 

"You think that'll work, Jesse?" He chuckles. "Oh my god, I'm going crazy. You aren't even saying anything." 

Korvo looked at the time and Terry was gonna be home in a few minutes. The kids weren't asleep yet, so Korvo decided to read to them. It makes Jesse pass out within minutes, while Yumyulack stays awake as if he was listening to what Korvo was saying. 

"Go to sleep, Yumyulack." Korvo says, but he just shakes his head. "You wanna watch Sesame Street?" 

Yumyulack reaches his hands up to Korvo and opens and closes his hands. He wanted to be carried. Korvo picks up baby Yumyulack and cradles him. Looking around, he finds a spare pacifier. Korvo squints at it to see if it's dirty, but he can't really tell so he runs into the bathroom and runs it under the water until he was satisfied with its cleaness. Once dried, he sticks it in Yumyulack's mouth. 

Korvo rocks him until he slowly gets lulled into slumber. "Softie."

Terry drove up to his house and saw the curtains closed, but the lights were still on. He sighs, preparing himself to "be distant" with Korvo again. Who knew this would be so tiring? 

Opening the door, Terry is met with rose petals and candles with hearts on the walls. He chuckled to himself, thinking about how cheesy this looked. Terry moved past the living room where the coffee table was set up to look like a romantic date for two, with a little vase and a rose. When he goes into the kitchen, he sees Korvo wearing an apron and cooking something. 

"Ahem." Terry fake coughed, causing Korvo to flinch. 

He turned around. "Terry!" He covered the thing he was cooking with his body. "You're here."

"Yeah?" Terry says, his smile growing wider. 

"Dinners not ready. Get out." Korvo turned around to focus on cooking and avoiding burning anything. 

Terry frowned, then his eyes faltered to get a good look at Korvo's ass. He began to think about his wet dream about his boyfriend in a pizza man costume. Instantly, he got a boner. Terry covered his crotch with his hands, which was kinda ridiculous because Korvo couldn't see him, and he ran to the living room and sat on the floor. 

Korvo came out a few minutes later holding a plate with Terry's favorite food, lasagna. He sets his plate on the coffee table in front of Terry. "Aw, Korvo!" He sighs. "I didn't know you knew how to make lasagna."

"I learned it today." He says sheepishly.

They had dinner together but it was rather quiet, and Korvo noticed Terry fidgeting a lot. So, he started the conversation. "So, I've been meaning to talk to you."

Nervousness became panic as his stomach dropped. This was it, Terry thought, Korvo's gonna break up with me, for real this time. Terry held his own hands under the table, bracing for Korvo to spill the words.

"I know things were bad in the past and recently. I want to say that I'm sorry." Terry began to tear up. "I haven't told you before, but I've been clean for a week now and I did it all by myself." 

Terry dropped his shoulders as his tears got sucked back into his eyes. This news was better than Korvo leaving him. "Oh my god, Korvo, that's great!" He grabbed into Korvo's hand, squeezing it. Now, he feels even worse because Korvo couldn't tell him about his progress since he's been distant with him. It's only fair that he shares what he's been doing. "I've been going to therapy." He doesn't look Korvo in the eyes. 

"That's good." Korvo fakes a smile. "I'll support you no matter what." He can't help but blame himself that Terry went to seek therapy. 

"After everything that happened with Terri dying and you with your drug abuse, it wore me out and I just needed help." Terry explained, crossing the metaphorical fingers in hopes that Korvo would understand.

"Thank you for telling me." Korvo says. 

"Also, I've been distancing myself from you because my therapist said it would help." Terry chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck.

Korvo widened his eyes. "So, that's what that was about? I thought you hated me."

"I would never."

"Well, did it work?" Korvo asked, eager to see of anything changed with Terry. "Do you feel better?"

Terry sunk in his seat, rising his shoulders with a strained look on his face. "Not really, no. It sucked not talking to you and pretending not to care." Especially trying to keep his gaze away from Korvo. 

"If you didn't like it, why didn't you stop?" His eyes were gentle and Terry couldn't resist telling Korvo everything. 

"I… was scared that I'd ruin our relationship. Plus, my therapist was really suggestive about it." Terry explained. "She was really touchy and she kept trying to hang out with me, like just the two of us." 

Korvo raised a brow. "Are you sure she wasn't flirting with you?" 

"No?" He was unsure.

"Do you think she was trying to sabotage our relationship?" Korvo didn't trust her for a second **.**

Terry laughed. "That's ridiculous… but she did tell me to dump you a few times." 

Korvo crossed his arms, turning his face away from Terry so he can't see that he's annoyed by this. "And she's supposed to be licensed? Isn't there a rule that you can't date patients?"

He smiled. "Aw, are you jealous?"

Snapping his head back towards Terry, Korvo exclaimed. "Yes! I want to be the person you go to for these things. And I don't appreciate bitches trying to fuck up our relationship."

Terry puts his hand over Korvo's, feeling them slightly tremble from the withdrawls. "I know, but this is a different issue, one that I need professional help with. You understand that, right?"

Korvo nods, averting his eyes. "Are you gonna get a different therapist?" 

"I kinda have to now if she can't keep her hands to herself." He frowns when he sees Korvo's sad expression. He gets up and pulls Korvo in for a hug, and he hugs him back. "Thanks for the romantic dinner, by the way." He leans down to kiss Korvo's head. 

"You can go up to bed now." It was pretty late and Korvo wanted to sulk by himself. 

"Are you sure? I could help you clean." Terry played with the strands of Korvo's hair. 

"It's fine. I got it." Korvo gives a reassuring smile.

Terry flashes a small smile and leaves Korvo in the dining room. He watched as Terry disappeared behind the door, and gets up to blow out all the candles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> updates are gonna occur less because of school stuff. also, if it wasn't clear in the story for the ethnicities /races of the characters,  
> Terry: Caucasian  
> Korvo: Brazilian/black  
> Terri: mulatto  
> John: Caucasian  
> Jesse: mulatto, but looks white  
> Yumyulack: African American.
> 
> Also, the story if you've forgotten:  
> Terry and Korvo had a FWB deal, then they fall in love with each other, but Terry was still with Terri and he got her pregnant. She dies after giving birth. Terry ends up adopting Yumyulack because his birth mother left him at the hospital. Now, Korvo and Terry have to raise both of the kids together while Korvo is struggling with drug addiction and Terry is struggling with grief and slight depression.


	15. Chapter 15

Happy wasn't the exact words to describe their life together now. It was routine-like. Sure, Korvo has been clean for two months and he could say he was happy but he wouldn't mean it. It was close though. Korvo didn't hate his life, but he could use more sleep and the kids would keep him up sometimes. More sleep could make his life better. More sleep and a vacation would make him happy. 

The kitchen floor is chilly as Korvo stepped on it to get to the coffee maker. The only thing that he looks forward to everyday was coffee and Terry's morning kisses. Speaking of Terry, he crept up behind Korvo and wrapped his arms around his stomach, pressing his chest against Korvo's back. A smile found its way to Korvo's lips as he felt his boyfriend kiss the nape of his neck. Korvo poured the coffee into the mug he grabbed from the cupboard earlier. 

"Is that for me?" Terry teased, reaching for Korvo's cup from behind. Korvo moved his hand further away from Terry's reach, making him pout. 

Terry smirked and slid his fingers under the band of Korvo's boxers. A blush crept on Korvo's face. It was too early for sex but he's not gonna say no. “You just want my coffee.” He says.

“Maybe I want something else too.” Terry really wanted the coffee because he could barely keep his eyes open. He could fall asleep on Korvo’s back if he wanted to. 

Korvo sighs, rolling his eyes as he turns around and gives Terry his cup, knowing well enough that he can't manage his day without caffeine. He watches as Terry drinks it down. “Better?”

“Yeah, thanks.” Korvo grabs another cup and makes himself another coffee. 

It happens for the past two months that Korvo and Terry have done the same things everyday. They’d wake up, feed the kids, then Korvo would get ready for work and leave. Terry is left with the kids for a portion of the day, then he’d call John to babysit while he goes to work then to therapy. Terry felt bad for John because, in a way, he was also raising the kids too, and he thinks that John needs a break as well. 

It was worse when the kids wouldn’t sleep at night. They would keep Korvo and Terry awake with the crying, screaming and pooping. It was like they made a plan together to purposefully keep their parents awake. And it didn't help Korvo that he had to wake up early every morning. 

Korvo and Terry laid in bed together, exhausted from their day and having to put the kids to sleep. "You know, as much as I love our life with the kids, I need a change."

Korvo turns to Terry. "You wanna put them up for adoption?"

"No! Don't say that so loud, they might hear." Terry whispers. 

"They're only babies." Korvo reassures.

"I wanna go somewhere." Terry says, raising his shoulders excitedly.

"Where do you wanna go?" Korvo asks.

"I don't know! I just wanna get out of here with you for a bit and forget all about our responsibilities." Terry turned to face Korvo, holding his hands. "I miss when it used to be just us."

Korvo missed that too, though he does feel guilty for it because he also likes having the kids around. And he loves Terry too. "Three days." He says. "We could go somewhere for three days, just us. I'll ask John to babysit again."

Terry smiles, but it quickly fades into a frown. "But I feel bad because we keep asking him to babysit a lot."

"Would you prefer Terri's parents to take the kid?" Korvo raised a brow.

"You know, that's not a bad idea." Terry chuckled.

Korvo caressed Terry's cheek. "So where do you wanna go?"

Terry bit the side of his cheek. He didn't think Korvo would agree to run away with him for a while. He genuinely didn't know where to go. "Where do  _ you _ wanna go?"

"Anywhere with you is fine." Korvo smiled, making Terry blush. 

A road trip. Terry had planned for a road trip since he had no idea where he wanted to go. The idea that he'd go somewhere without an actual destination seemed perfect in his eyes. 

The first night, after they dropped the kids off at grandma Harri's house. (that's Terri's mom btw) Then they just drove around, listened to music and ate at a small diner that's suspiciously secluded from the rest of the town. 

There was a motel nearby and Terry was sure this is where prostitutes met up with their clients, or where serial killers come to grab a new victim. Either way, Terry didn't care. He was already tired, and it was only 10 pm. 

It had occurred to Terry while he was changing his clothes, "Korvo, we're old men."

Korvo went over to hug Terry from behind, thinking that Terry was being insecure about himself again. "You're one  _ sexy _ old guy." He says with a smile.

"I mean, we're going to bed at 10. We used to sleep way later than this, sometimes not even at all." Terry sulked, crossing his arms. "I just feel old."

"Terry, you're not even thirty yet." He turns Terry around so that he could get a good look at him. Terry kept his eyes low, avoiding meeting Korvo's gaze "You can still walk and do things without assistance, and even when that happens, I'll be here with you. Thinking about being old takes the fun out of being young." Terry gazed up at Korvo's eyes, being met with the clouds again. "So, just enjoy it before you can't." 

"Oh, Korvo!" Terry threw his arms around his boyfriend's neck as he felt the hug being reciprocated. "I love you." He planted a kiss on his lips.

They stood there, being consumed by each other as if the world had depended on it. The feeling was so nice. They didn't have to be alert for fear that they'd get interrupted by crying or something being thrown or dropped. It was refreshing. And Terry felt culpable for feeling this way. 

Terry pulled away, resting his hands on Korvo's shoulders. "The kids." 

"You miss them?" Korvo finished. 

"I'm worried about them."

"They'll be fine." Korvo reassures his boyfriend. "I promise."

It wasn't that. He shouldn't have left them for this. Terry didn't even know where he wanted to go, and he ditched his kids for a shitty motel in the middle of nowhere. "We should go back home." He says. 

"A-are you sure?" Korvo didn't want to leave yet. He didn't want to go home and be met with more dirty diapers and crying babies. 

"No!" Terry shouted, burying his face in his hands. "I'm a bad father for leaving them and we didn't even go to a nice place!"

Korvo held Terry's hand, attempting to move them from his face. "Look at me." 

Terry brought his hands down and looked at Korvo.

"You're not a bad father for thinking about yourself. Being a parent takes sacrifice." Korvo realized he was saying what his dad told him. "And sometimes, you have to… care about yourself too." Wow. Full circle.

Terry's tense shoulders dropped. Korvo was right, but he still feels bad about it. He doesn't want the kids to hate him for wanting some time apart. "You're right." He leans in to smooch Korvo again. "Thank you." 

It went quiet again, and Terry slipped on a shirt because it was getting cold. "So, are we gonna do it?"

Terry raised a brow as a smile played on his lips. "You wanna do it on the bed?"

"Um, not really, no. There might be STDs or something." Korvo glanced at the motel bed. 

"You wanna do it standing?" Terry wiggled his eyebrows. 

"Yes." He came closer. 

Terry smiled, booping his finger on Korvo's nose. "Horse." He joked, referring to how horses mate while standing. 

"That's gross." He leaned in, capturing Terry's lips. 

Terry melts into the kiss, like always, as they backed up to the front door. Korvo had him against the door, nipping away at Terry's neck. But then Terry had a brilliant idea. "Wait- wait," He demanded. "We should do it in the shower."

Korvo averted his eyes then looked back at Terry. "You wanna have sex in the shower, like a- like a couple of… okay, let's go." Terry squeaks with excitement while getting pulled into the bathroom. 

The water was running. It wasn't cold enough to freeze but not hot enough to burn. It was just right. Wonk. Korvo and Terry stood under the shower with wet lips meeting each other. Korvo was against the wall this time, and the coldness made goosebumps appear on his skin. Terry bit at the flesh, leaving love marks. It was stupid but Terry liked leaving reminders that Korvo is his. He came back up and stole kisses from Korvo, tasting his tongue in the process. 

The water began to burn their skin, not because the water was hot, but because they were feeling hot and bothered from all this horny energy. Terry couldn't contain himself anymore as he turned Korvo around, giving his ass a hard smack. "Terry!" Korvo gasped. He turns around with lust in his eyes. "Do it again." 

They had implied sex in the shower. It was the next day where they truly regretted it. 

The room was chilly like winter had started all over again, but it wasn't the room or the season, it was the common human enemy: the cold. 

"Korvo…" Terry groaned, laying his head on his boyfriend's chest. "Why did you talk me into shower sex?"

"I didn't. I just agreed with you." He sniffles. "Oh, my God. I wanna die."

"We're not really gonna spend the day like this, are we?" Terry pushed himself up from Korvo's chest to look at him, causing Korvo to shiver from the lack of Terry's body heat. "I mean, we can still do stuff."

"Like, what?" 

They packed their things and Terry drove 20 miles back into the city for a better place to be at than a cheap motel. It wasn't home, but it was better. 

"A hotel?" Korvo questioned as they drove up to the parking lot. 

"If we're gonna be sick, might as well be sick with fancy soaps and room service." Terry says. "I mean, if we can't take care of each other, someone else can do it for us "

Korvo thought about how much of a genius Terry can be. "I love you so much."

"I know." 

They quickly paid for their room and got their key. The first thing they did was dive into the bed to feel the softness of the sheets. Korvo laid there for a bit then passed out. Terry thought it would be a good idea to order food because they hadn't eaten anything for a while now. 

"Korvo…" Terry sang in Korvo's ear as an attempt to wake him up. He poked Korvo's face, watching as he didn't react. "You're really sleepy, huh?"

Terry smiles as a brilliant idea pops into his head. He slowly steps off the bed to search in the bags for a sharpie. Korvo always keeps one on him just in case he needed to label anything, which he rarely does. Terry unzips the bag carefully to avoid waking Korvo up. If Korvo wakes up, then his brilliant plan won't work. 

He crept up from the side of the bed as he squinted to get a better look at Korvo. He's still asleep. Perfect. Terry rose up and uncaps the pen. He sticks his tongue out as he brings the pen to Korvo's skin. Abruptly, he stops before he could touch Korvo because there is a knock at the door. "Room service!" The employee exclaimed through the door. 

"Shit." Terry cursed. He'll finish his masterpiece later. Closing the pen, he waltz to the door and answers it. The lady smiles as Terry opens the door wider for her to push the cart in. Before she leaves, he tips her $50. 

Terry shuts the door and glances at Korvo, who was still asleep. He sighs in relief. He thought that'll wake him for sure. As Terry made his way back to Korvo, he trips on one of his shoes laying on the floor. He fell with an "oof" sound escaping his lips. He hears Korvo shifting in the bed as he gets up. "Terry?" He called as his voice croaked.

"Y-yeah?" Terry pulled himself off the floor. 

Korvo stares at him with sleep in his eyes. "What are you doing on the floor?" 

"I tripped over my shoe." He shines a crooked smile as he kicks his shoe away. "Anyways, I ordered food."

Korvo glances at the cart. "I can tell."

"Should we-"

"Yes, I'm starving."

They ate in silence as they watched Up, the Pixar film. Korvo still doesn't understand why Terry enjoys cartoons so much, and how he was able to shed tears for simple pixels and animation. He watched as Terry focused his attention on the screen with tears in his eyes. It was the scene where Mr. Fredricksen finds Ellie's book and he flips to the last page to find her message to him, for him to find his own adventure. 

Korvo felt Terry's hand slightly squeezing his own. He moved forward and pecked Terry on the cheek, tasting the slight salt of his tears. "Korvo!" Terry giggles as he falls onto the bed while Korvo trails his kisses down along Terry's jaw. 

The movie was still on his mind while Korvo tried to get Terry to stop crying. It worked but something ached inside of him, besides the boner he was getting. It was in his heart. Mr. Fredricksen and Ellie seemed so happy while being married, and Terry wanted that with Korvo. He'd be lying if he said he hadn't thought about it more than once. And then Terri popped in his mind. She told him that marriage should be with someone you love.

Korvo stared down at Terry as he zoned out. "Are you feeling okay?" He asked. 

The question snapped Terry out of his thoughts. Marrying Korvo was all on his mind now. "I'm perfect.  _ We're  _ perfect."

He didn't know why Terry said that, but he couldn't agree more. "That we are." Korvo leans down to kiss Terry again. 

Terry snaked his arms around Korvo's neck as he let himself be consumed by his lover. He moans into the pair of soft lips as he slips his tongue into Korvo's mouth. He feels Korvo's cool hands rake up his ribs, pushing his shirt up. Korvo moves from Terry's lips to his neck, biting down on his flesh. He undoes the buttons to Terry's pants, pulling them down as his dick sprung up. He couldn't tell if they were hot because of the sexual tension or because they were still a bit sick. Korvo captured his lips again while he stroked the length of Terry's cock. 

Terry pushes Korvo away to look him in the eyes. "That's not fair." He says with a sly smirk on his face. "I want you to be naked too."

Following Terry's orders, Korvo brought his hand to his shirt, playing with the buttons while he undid them. Terry didn't know why Korvo still wore shirts like that, but it did come with its pros. He gets to see Korvo strip seductively as each button pops open. The cons, however, was when Terry is feeling rather aggressive, he'd ruin the shirt by ripping it open and the buttons would get chucked somewhere. And he thinks Korvo still looks like a nerd while wearing button up shirts. 

Terry bit his lip while his eyes roamed Korvo's chest, looking rather "daddy" to him. Korvo popped open the last button as he slipped the shirt off, tossing it to the floor. He tries to kiss Terry but is stopped by his fingers. Terry glanced at Korvo's pants. "The pants." He wants them off. 

Korvo understood what he meant. He sighs as he quickly takes his pants off. He just wanted to touch Terry again. "Happy?" He stands there with his dick out. 

Terry shook his head. "No." He gently shoves Korvo off the bed as he goes down on his knees. Korvo blushed, realizing what Terry was going to do. He gently strokes Korvo's dick as he brings it to his lips, giving the tip a kiss. Korvo watched as Terry sucked his dick and made obscene noises in the process, which Korvo found ridiculous because Terry didn't have a gag reflex.

His fingers were buried somewhere in Terry's hair while Terry bobbed his head back and forth as he sucked Korvo's dick. Korvo groans as Terry goes throatzilla on his cock. “Jesus, Terry.” 

Terry pulled away as strings of saliva lingered between his tongue and Korvo’s erection. It looked gross but Korvo liked the sight of Terry like this. He came up and mashed his lips against Korvo, making him taste himself. And Korvo loved it when Terry was this dirty, only being slutty just for him. Gently, Korvo shoved Terry onto the bed as he positioned himself to enter. (Imma just say this rn, booty be loose, but that shit still good.) Terry moaned as Korvo slid his cock in his ass.

Korvo focused all his attention into pleasing Terry with his dick and his hand. He glances up for a second and sees that the door to the hotel isn’t locked. “Terry.” He whispered, even though he didn’t need to because it was just them in the hotel room. However, Terry didn’t notice Korvo calling him because he was focused on his orgasm that was close to coming. “Terry.” Korvo called again.

“Ugh, what?” He groans, his face was hot and he was so close too. 

“The door.” Korvo pointed at the door with his eyes. 

Terry turns to see that it’s unlocked. “You stopped because of that?” He huffed. 

“What if someone comes in?”

He rolled his eyes. “Look, Korvy. The only person who’s going to ‘come in’, is you.” Terry pulled Korvo closer, kissing him. “Now, will you please fuck me?”

Korvo smirked. “Are you begging?”

“That was a demand.” A demand to be bottom was a good look on Terry, or so Korvo thought. Regardless, he did what Terry wanted, but he wanted to make it quick as the thought loomed over him that someone might open the door to see them engaging in sexual intercourse. 

Terry tensed up as his moans grew louder. He wrapped his legs around Korvo’s waist, pulling him closer. Korvo was close too as his thrusts grew faster. His moans choked out of him as they came together. They laid together on the bed, panting from their post-orgasmic haze. “So, there’s a carnival down the street.” Korvo huffed. 

Terry sat up. “There’s a carnival?” He shouted avidly. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“We literally drove past it.” Korvo says casually.

“I gotta admit, I was really out of it while driving.” He grabbed his shirt and slipped it on. “We’re  _ going  _ to that carnival.”

Korvo picked his shirt from the floor and put it on his body. “I know.” 

They left for the carnival while the sun was still up. The place was like every kid's dream: clowns, rides, cotton candy stands, etc. It wasn't Korvo's thing but it certainly was Terry's. It especially made Korvo feel stupid while going into the Hall of Mirrors. He kept bumping into his own reflection while Terry was a natural at going through this maze. 

Terry pulled Korvo into a nearby photobooth where they would make silly poses for pictures and kiss like they were teenagers. Then there was a magic show inside a tent. The magician would perform lame magic tricks that would bedazzle Terry but Korvo could easily see through them. It wasn't real magic. It was misdirection. The magician made eye contact with Korvo and winked at him. He quickly averted his eyes and turned to Terry who didn't seem to notice that the magician was flirting with him. Or maybe he was overthinking this and the magician was just being nice. 

"Do you like the show?" Korvo felt his skin jump from his flesh as he turned to see the magician and his stupid mask. 

"Uh, it's great." He played along. 

"You're not much of a believer, are you?" The magician said. Korvo realized that the magician was still on the stage while he was next to him. Before Korvo would ask how he did that, the magician interrupted. "Twins. That's my twin up there." 

That explains a lot, Korvo thought. Magic wasn't real. Not that he hoped it would be. Korvo turns back to the magician sitting next to him and he was gone. 

When the show was done, Terry and Korvo walked out while Terry gushed about how cool the show was. Korvo shoved his hands in his pocket, feelings chilly from the cool air. He felt a piece of paper in his pocket and pulled it out to find a note on it that said "call me" with a number on it. Once again, misdirection. The magician slipped it into his pocket while he turned to look at the twin on stage. 

Korvo tossed it in the trash. He wasn't interested in "learning magic" with the magician. 

Terry pulled Korvo towards the Gravitron. "Please, Korvo! I don't wanna go alone!" 

Korvo doesn't budge from his spot. "No! That's literally a death machine." 

"What can I do to make you come with me?" He bats his eyes at Korvo. "I'll do anything."

"You're not gonna talk me into going into the Gravitron with sex because I won't do it." Korvo crossed his arms. 

Terry needed a way to get Korvo to agree to come with him. He looked around the place for something to coerce Korvo with, then he saw one of the game booths. "How about this, you play that." Terry pointed to the shooty game. "If you win, we don't go into the Gravitron and I get a prize. But if you lose, we go into the Gravitron."

"You mean I get a prize." Korvo corrected. 

"You  _ could _ see it that way, but we both know that you'll do it for me." Dammit. Korvo hated how well Terry knew him. 

"Fine."

They go over to the booth and Korvo hands the guy a ticket. Grabbing the fake gun, he and Terry exchanged looks. When the booth guy finished explaining the rules, Korvo shot down the cans with perfect aim. It was simple math to Korvo as he calculated each trajectory with each shot. 

"Congratulations, sir! You won!" The guy said. "Pick any of the prizes you want." 

Korvo examines his choices and sees the big pink narwhal hanging by a string. He thought about Jesse and how she would love it. "I'll take the narwhal." The guy handed Korvo the narwhal, then he turned to see Terry smiling. "What?"

"Nothing." He thought Korvo looked silly with the pink plushie. 

"Okay, since I won. You have to play something too." Korvo challenged. 

"Korvo, I'm the master at carnival games. I could win all the prizes if I wanted to." It was true. Terry spent a lot of time at carnivals and arcades as a kid because he never wanted to be at home. The carnival couldn't hit him or make him feel like shit. It did the opposite.

Korvo's eyes roamed the place until he spotted the strongman game. He smirked. There's no way Terry could pull that off because he's lanky and he has thin, wimpy arms. He pointed to the game. "Wanna test your strength?"

Terry followed the direction of Korvo's finger, then turned back to him. "Okay, maybe-" Korvo pulled him to the stand before he could refuse to play it. 

The mallet was heavy in Terry's hand. He had a trick to winning these types of games, but he didn't know if it would work because it's been so long and he's rusty. He stared down at the lever he had to strike. 

"Here goes." He says, preparing himself to hit the lever. Placing the head on the mallet behind the back of his foot, he slightly kicks it back, giving it a head start and slams the mallet against the lever. The puck hits the bell with a "ding". Holy shit, that actually worked, Terry thought. 

The stand guy told Terry to pick his prize and he picked a big blue shark. He thought about Yumyulack when he picked it, because only Yumyulack would like big blue angy shark.

The sun was setting and Terry had a craving for some snacks, specifically cotton candy. Korvo wanted real food so they decided to split up and meet back at the entrance in 15 minutes. 

Terry stood at the cotton candy place, waiting for the makers to be done with his treat. But while he waited, he spotted a toy machine that only takes quarters. He loves these things. It was always a guessing game to him. Terry pulled a spare quarter from his pocket and puts it into the machine. The machine pops out a circle case with a cap on it. When Terry opened it, he lets out a small gasp. It's a ring, a cheap metal ring. The maker dude called Terry to take his order and he does.

While Terry makes it back to the entrance, he sees a crowd of people forming. Curiosity got the best of him and he goes to see what the commotion was all about. It was some guy proposing to his girlfriend. Everybody sighed, including Terry. When she said "yes", the crowd cheered for them. Soon they began to disperse when the hype was over and Terry still stood there thinking about it. 

It couldn't have been a coincidence that earlier today he watched Up and there was a married couple. A few minutes ago, he somehow obtains a ring from a machine. Now, he just witnessed a proposal. It must be a sign, he thought. 

The thought gets interrupted by Korvo. "Terry!" He called, coming closer. "I thought we were gonna meet at the entrance." 

"Sorry." He chuckled. "I was distracted." He can't stop thinking about the coincidences. It must be fate, right?

Terry ate the cotton candy while they walked back to the hotel together. When he was done he tossed the little cone thing in the trash. He watched as Korvo walked ahead of him as his eyes narrowed. Stuffing his free hand in his pocket, he feels the ring. The thought was back again; he wanted to propose. But it wasn't a real ring. Could he even afford a real ring? Would Korvo care? Does he even care about marriage? These were Terry's worries at the moment. However, it didn't matter to him if Korvo proposes without a ring. Or if Korvo didn't want to get married. Being with him was more than fine, it was perfect, but he needed to know. Terry pulled the ring out of his pocket. He needed to know if Korvo wants to be with him forever too. 

They were close to the hotel as Terry strode along with his long legs to get to Korvo. "Korvo?" He called. 

His boyfriend turned around, tilting his head from being called. "Yeah?" 

"Um…" Terry blushed, playing with the ring in his hand. He didn't think he'd be on the spot for this. "W-well, I know we've only been together for a year a-and a lot has happened in that span." His hands began to sweat as he clenched into the pushing in his other hand. "I- w- uh-" He stammers, tensing up. He can't find the words to convey how he feels and it's torturing him. 

Korvo could sense the tension. "Terry." He looks at Korvo. "Breathe." 

So, he takes a breath, feeling significantly better. He closes his eyes. "I love you, Korvo."

Korvo smiles. "I love you too."

The stress was back again and he was becoming overwhelmed. "N- no, that's not what I... I- I mean, I love you so much that- that I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I can't imagine my life without you. It feels impossible to." He's breathless and his heart is beating so fast he could die on the street right there. "I love that you call Jesse and Yumyulack  _ our _ kids. I love how your face lights up wherever you talk about boring science stuff. I love waking up to you every morning and sleeping with you every night. I love that you're still here even when you don't need to be because Jesse and Yumyulack aren't your responsiblity. You could leave whenever you want but you still choose to stay. And I can never figure out why because there's nothing special about me." He doesn't realize he's crying. 

"Terry…"

"I want to be with you all the time, maybe grow old with you and watch our grandkids or something like that. I wanna be best friends for life." It all felt too right to turn back now. "We've only been together for a year but, I need to know-" 

"W- wait, w- what are you saying?" He was tearing up too. 

"Korvo, will you marry me?" 

Korvo dropped the two plushies he was holding when he heard those words. He doesn't say anything as he pulls Terry into a kiss. For once, his tears were full of joy instead of despondency.

"So, was that a yes?" Terry asked. 

"Yes, dummy." They kissed again.


	16. Chapter 16

Korvo looked at his fake engagement ring and smiled. This was silly but he still loved it. He was still in disbelief that Terry proposed like that, and here he thought he would be the one to go on his knee and pull out a thicc diamond out of his pocket, uttering the magical words, "will you marry me?" Of course, this would happen three years into the future when Korvo would afford a thicc diamond ring. He was glad that Terry proposed first because it confirms that Terry actually wanted him around. 

They drove up to Terri's parents house to pick up the kids. They were all ready to go but Korvo kept having this migraine ever since they left the hotel. It didn't help that he and Terry stayed up all night making love. The kids were excited to see their dads again. Jesse kept saying "da-da" over and over again. Korvo was still surprised that Jesse could talk so early for her age. She wasn't even nine months yet. 

Harri noticed Korvo rubbing his head and making a face like he was in pain. "Are you okay, Korvo?"

"Eugh, I have this… terrible migraine." He groans. 

"There's ibuprofen in the cabinet in the bathroom." She tells him, pointing to the direction of the bathroom. "Just down that hall, to the left." 

Korvo follows her directions and finds the bathroom. He closes the door behind him and opens the cabinet to immediately see a bottle of oxycontin. He gulps. He didn't have to see the name to know it was definitely oxycontin. He took a long look at the bottle as sweat balled from his forehead. The urges were happening again as he began to remember the feeling he got whenever he was high, which is ironic because he mostly doesn't remember being anything while he's high. 

To steal or not to steal, was all in Korvo's head. By the time he came to a conclusion that he won't steal from Terri's parents, he walked out of the bathroom to meet up with Terry. They left the house together, carrying the baby carriages to the car. After Korvo strapped the kids into the back seat, he made his way into the passenger seat. Terry gave Korvo a kiss on the cheek when he got into the car. 

When they got home, Korvo locked himself in the bathroom as he pulled the pills out of his pocket. He stares at it. Every right and wrong seemed to disappear all together, and it was just him alone in this world. He climbed so far up that metaphorical mountain while carrying the weight of his burdens on his shoulders. This was adding to it. Then, he thought that if he takes the pills, he won't notice the burdens. They would seemingly disappear.

He can't do this. He has Terry and the kids. He doesn't want to disappoint them again. Korvo stares at himself in the mirror as he slowly puts the pill on his tongue. I don't wanna disappoint them, he repeats to himself. Once he swallows, Korvo realizes what he just did. "Fuck." He uttered.

Korvo stuck his fingers down his throat to try to force himself to puke out the pill. There was a loud banging on the door as Korvo froze, pulling his fingers out of his mouth. "You okay? I heard gagging noises." Terry called.

Korvo doesn't answer. Just when Terry was about to knock again, Korvo swung open the door. An exaggerated smile played on his face. "I'm good. Fine, actually." He doesn't look at Terry for long.

Terry narrowed his eyes, suspicious of Korvo's demeanor. "What were you doing?"

"Practicing." Korvo lies, closing the door behind him. He begins to sweat. "I was- I was practicing… you know." He makes the blowjob gesture.

Terry laughs, patting Korvo on the shoulder. "You were practicing how to suck dick? But, Korvy, you're already good at it."

"Listen, Ter-ry, not everyone is born without a gag reflex." Korvo walked past Terry and into the room.

Terry followed behind. "Well, you could've asked me to help you with that." He joked, but he was serious about that. "We could  _ practice  _ together."

"Do I look like a slut to you?" He placed his hands on his hips.

"Depending on the situation, yes."

Terry sat on the bed while Korvo crawled in with him. The drugs were still on Korvo's mind as he slowly began to panic. They were gonna eat him alive and he's going to like it. Once his head hits the pillow, the high consumed him. It was like getting hit with absolute bliss, or floating in a calming river, and nothing can possibly bother you. Korvo wondered why he was so anxious before. He didn't even have to go out on a roadtrip when he could've relaxed on his bed with some oxys or maybe fentanyl, if he was feeling dangerous.

Korvo wondered why he wanted to be clean in the first place. Oh, right because of Terry. Terry was gonna be so pissd if he ever finds out what Korvo did. He slowly blinked at the ceiling, feeling that void in his chest growing like a cancer cell. This is bad, he thought. After tonight, he promised himself that he'll stop for real. 

The next day, after the high wore off, Korvo started his morning with the oxys and a cup of coffee. He thought he would die the next morning if he went back on drugs. It was kind of an accident. Korvo could make up a ton of excuses for being on drugs again. Though, he wouldn't have to if he lied. He can't keep doing this to Terry. He promised himself to be off of it yesterday and he's breaking that promise. 

Then the next few hours, he took another one, then another one. Korvo stares at the little empty baggy where he stored the drugs. It was all gone. When he was going clean, John tossed out all of the pills to "help" him. 

Korvo slammed his fist into the sink counter. "Fuck!" He shouted, sinking to the floor as he held his knees to his chest. He was becoming fidgety again. He needed to call Steve.

When Korvo texted Steve for the drugs, he apologized to Korvo. "I don't sell drugs anymore, ever since Terri died." He was so depressed after she passed that he gave up drug dealing. 

"Do you know someone else who needed some business?" Korvo asked. Steve gave him a number. 

Soon, Korvo was spending money again on drugs again. He was getting high more often than when he was an addict. Who is he kidding? He's an addict now. However, whenever it came to doing drugs around Terry, he would be really careful and only took small amounts. 

Korvo sat at his job, during break, and sunk into his seat. He looked at the picture he has of Terry and the kids. His vision was blurry to see it clearly and the reflection from the sun made it looks like there were stars around them. He buried his hands in his hair as he hung his head. "I'm so fucked." He cried. 

When Korvo came home, he found himself alone. He forgot that John took the kids to babysit them at his house, and Terry was either at work or therapy. Opening the fridge in the kitchen, there was no beer. Right, Terry stopped drinking and so did Korvo. The closest thing to a beverage was orange juice. He sighs, grabbing it out of the fridge. He sunk to the floor as he drank from the carton. It tasted sour and happy and Korvo was anything but happy. 

Pulling the baggy out of his pocket, he pops the pill in his mouth and drinks it down with orange juice. It was gonna leave a gross aftertaste later. Though he was only sitting on the floor, it felt like he was having fun. It was one of the few things he had forgotten about the substance, how he could feel so content with doing nothing and sleeping away his problems, maybe even forgetting them.

He was supposed to be at work right now. His boss is gonna be pissed because he left during break. Korvo didn't care. He was too happy right now to care about trivial things like his job. Laying on his side on the kitchen floor, Korvo sobbed. His chest hurt, everything hurt too much. The happy pills filled his head and the pain was numbing again, but he still cried. He's never felt such disgust with himself before, and he couldn't stop. 

Hours passed as Korvo laid on the floor, being in complete euphoria as his demons ate away at him. A car drove up to the driveway. Shit. It was Terry. Korvo scrambled to his feet but the sudden moment made his head dizzy as he stumbled to the couch. He tripped over one of Jesse's toys and fell to the floor. He needs to clean the house more. Korvo crawls to the couch and casually sits there, waiting for Terry to unlock the door and walk in. 

He shouldn't have taken the second pill. It was enough for Terry to notice that he's not himself. Or maybe he won't notice if Korvo would just act normally. He can't be normal because he's high out of his mind! Terry is gonna find out and he's gonna divorce him before they even get married, then he's gonna get kicked out of the house and go back to living with his dad and his aunt. 

The door clicks open and Terry walks in holding Jesse and Yumyulack in the baby carrier, the one that's straps to your chest. Korvo watches as Terry struggles to carry the carriage into the house. He thought about helping Terry but before he could move to do anything Terry already handled it.

Terry turned to see Korvo sitting on the couch. "You're here!" He exclaimed, shutting the front door. "Could you take Yumyulack? I think he pooped."

Korvo gets up and takes Yumyulack off of Terry. Normally, the smell of poop would bother him but he's too high to even react. He takes baby Yumyulack upstairs and cleans him off **.**

Soon, Terry joins him in the baby room to put Jesse to sleep. "So, John told me that Jesse kept talking even though he couldn't understand her. Isn't that great?" 

"She certainly got that from you." Korvo jokes.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Terry elbows Korvo's side. 

Korvo sets Yumyulack in his crib. Yumyulack had his thumb in his mouth while he stared up at Korvo. Terry takes his spot next to Korvo.

"Aw, he's so cute." Terry complimented. 

Yumyulack made an angry face. "I don't think he likes that." Korvo commented with a dopey smile on his face.

"Doesn't matter." Terry picks Yumyulack in his arms and hugs him. "My baby is cute as fuck." 

"Fuck." Jesse repeated. 

"Terry!" Korvo gasped. 

"I'm sorry! I didn't think she would hear it!" Korvo went over and picked Jesse up. Terry went to her and said, "Jesse, repeat after me. Swearing is bad."

"Fuck!" Jesse exclaimed. 

"I've done goofed, Korvo." 

"Fuck, da-da!" She says again.

"That's right, sweetie." Korvo pats her on the head. 

"Don't encourage her!" Terry laughed, putting Yumyulack in his crib. 

Korvo sets her down in her crib. She was still giggling from the word "fuck." He had to admit, it is kinda funny. "Okay, it's time for bed." He tells the kids even though they can't really understand him, well, Korvo suspects that Yumyulack could understand him because he grabs a small toy and throws it at Korvo. 

He picks it up and gives the toy back to Yumyulack, only for him to throw it away again. Yumyulack raised his arms to be picked up. "Yumyulack, you can't sleep with us." Terry tells him. 

Yumyulack starts tearing up then he cries loudly. Korvo quickly picks him up and rocks him to stop crying before Jesse starts crying too. It was too late because Jesse started crying.

Korvo turns to Terry. "What the hell, Terry?" He whispers.

Terry picks Jesse up and tries to get her to stop crying. "Sorry, I didn't think he would understand me."

Jesse and Yumyulack ended up sleeping in Korvo and Terry's bed that night.

Korvo woke up the next day with a faint memory of taking the kids to bed with him. He doesn't remember most of yesterday. There was something in his gut that told him something important happened yesterday but he can't remember. He gets up and puts the kids in their room. 

He hides away in the bathroom and pulls the bag of happy pills taped to the back of the toilet. He swallows it down then goes to brush his teeth. 

Terry turns in his sleep, feeling the spot that Korvo would occupy, empty and cold. Peaking an eye open, he sees the bathroom door closed with Korvo's shadow from under the door. He turns to see that the sun hasn't gone up yet. The toilet flushing could be heard from the bathroom. Before the door opened, Terry quickly turned away from Korvo's spot and shut his eyes, pretending to sleep. He feels Korvo coming into bed with him. Then he feels Korvo's arm slither its way around Terry's waist. 

Terry stiffens under the touch until he hears Korvo's breath become softer and regulated as he falls fast asleep again. He waited a while before getting up, and made sure not to wake Korvo. He slipped from under Korvo's arm and tiptoed around the bed to get to the bathroom. Terry locked the door behind him as he checked under the sink for any bagged pills, there was none. He searched the cabinets, inside the soap bottles, behind the mirror, there was nothing. He checked the behind the toilet, and under the lid to see if Korvo was hiding any drugs from him. There was nothing. 

Terry sat on the toilet. Maybe he was overthinking things because Korvo has been up way too early for a couple of days. Maybe Korvo just needed to piss or something. He was worried about nothing after all. Terry leaves the bathroom to see Korvo still sound asleep. He crawls into bed and gives Korvo a kiss. 

John was coming over today and Korvo thought it would be a good idea to be off any substances because John is very perceptive when it came to Korvo being high. He couldn't risk having John know because he'd tell Terry, and Korvo didn't want that. 

It hasn't even been an hour after the drugs wore off and Korvo was already fidgeting. He stops himself by chewing on gum and blowing bubbles. It was starting to hurt his jaw from masticating so aggressively. 

John was gonna be here in an hour and Terry prepared some monopoly and figured they could ruin their friendship with monopoly. This was fucked because John is good at monopoly. 

When the doorbell rang, Korvo flinched at the sound. He was nervous. He didn't want John to find out because it'll ruin everything. He just needed to act cool and drink a lot of water. He snatches the bottle of water next to him and chugs it. More bathroom breaks means less eye contact and interactions, and maybe Korvo could get away with it. 

"Hey guys!" John greeted with a wave as he stepped into the house. He immediately spots the monopoly box on the table. "Are you guys trying to break up with me?"

Korvo narrowed his eyes. "What?"

"Uh, monopoly is my domain. If we play monopoly, you guys might boot me outta here because I'm just so goddamn good." He explained, taking a seat on the floor. 

"No, we're not gonna boot you for being good at monopoly." Korvo says as Terry sits next to him while holding Yumyulack in his arms. 

They played monopoly in the living room and Korvo probably chugged 3 bottles of water by now, and took several bathroom breaks. Luckily, he hid his drugs away so Terry doesn't find it. This time the pills were in his sock and the pant sleeves hid it very well. 

Korvo stared at himself in the mirror as he unwraps another piece of gun and sticks it in his mouth. He looks decent but it was only his own perception of him, or so he thinks. He's not drugged up right now, so he should be good, right? Grabbing into the door knob, Korvo prepares himself to face his family, and makes a mental note to keep breathing. After all this, he could go back to being high. It was a reward. He's doing this for the drugs. 

After several games of monopoly and John winning every single time, they decided to call it a day. The game was bitter because they betted real money to see who could win. Korvo was down $80 and Terry lost $50.

John stood at the door as he bid his farewell. "Before I go," he starts, "I wanna know how everything is with you, mentally?"

Korvo's stomach dropped. There's no way he could've found out about him. He was too careful today. "I'm great." He puts on a fake smile. 

"Really? Because you kinda stopped talking to me after you came back from your three day trip." John crossed his arms. "And I had to find out about your engagement from Terry. So, what's up?"

"I… just forgot to tell you." Korvo tried to keep his eyes on John because he knows that he'll detect that Korvo's lying by breaking eye contact with him. 

"You forgot?" John narrowed his eyes. "It's kind of a big deal that you just got engaged, even though it's with a fake ring. And you're telling me you forgot?" 

"Look, a lot was going on and I was just thinking about myself." Korvo explains. he could feel himself itch internally for some happy pills. He just wanted this conversation to be over. "I'm sorry." 

John sighs, dropping his shoulders. "I don't need an apology, dumbass, but it would've been nice that my best friend told me he was getting married. We could've gone out for drinks or something."

"I'm abstaining, remember?" Korvo reminded him, even though he really isn't abstaining. 

"You could drink milk or something." He joked. "You know I always thought I'd be the first one to get married because you were kind of a slut before dating Terry."

"Jealous?" Korvo smirked. 

"Extremely." John says, plainly, playing along with Korvo's antics. "Anyway, I'll be on my way. Make sure you don't forget to send me an invitation." 

"I'll try to." John waved as he walked to his car. Korvo pushed the door open to go into his house. 

"So, you talked to John?" Terry asked from the couch. He was sitting next to Jesse and Yumyulack while they watched kids cartoons. 

"Yeah." He says, taking a seat on the couch too. 

"Korvo, I need you to be honest with me." He turns to his fiancé, his face all serious.

Korvo gulps as he starts feeling uncomfortably warm. "O-okay."

"Have you been doing drugs?"

It was felt like Terry's eyes were burning through Korvo's skull. "No." His mouth was dry. "I have not been doing drugs."

Terry narrowed his eyes, then went back to his normal demeanor. "Phew!" He sighs. Korvo rests his shoulders. "I thought you were because you've been in the bathroom a lot." 

Korvo chuckles. "Because I needed to pee?" His lies were making his stomach churn.

Terry scoots closer to Korvo as he hugs his arm. "I'm sorry for doubting you, Korvo. I love you" 

This was killing Korvo inside. He hesitantly puts his arm around Terry. "I… love you too." 

After Terry went to bed that night, Korvo chokes down his pills to forget about his guilt. Not soon after, he slowly gets lulled out of the shitty feeling in his gut, and it gets replaced with spurious contentment. "God, I hate myself." He mumbles, sitting on the bathroom floor. He pulls himself up and joins Terry in bed.

Tomorrow would be no different.

The next week, Terry left the house to go hang out with some friends from college. Today was also Korvo's day off so he decided to go all in. He had forgotten that John was coming over to babysit. 

During his trip, the pills called to him, pursuing him to take more so he could be in complete nirvana. And Korvo listened. Then everything went black.

John unlocked the door because no one was answering. He figured Korvo was busy with something, so he searched for the extra key in the plant pot and found it. "Terry needs to find better places to hide these." John commented.

He called Korvo a few times but there was no answer. He goes upstairs and hears gasping. It didn't take him long enough to realize it was Korvo. He busted into the room to see Korvo choking on his own vomit. The little baggy was on the floor and the pills he could no longer take were scattered on the floor.

Not soon after, the ambulance showed up and people surrounded the house. They took Korvo to the hospital once they got him breathing again, but the drugs were still in his system, which they had to pump out but the drugs that had already dissolved in his stomach. It was slowly killing him and at any minute he'd die. 

John called Terry. He wasn't going to be happy about this


	17. Chapter 17

_ It constantly felt like a party in his head, but not the kind that has your heart beating to the music or the adrenaline rush that comes with dancing. It was the kind that wallflowers get when they watch other people have fun, or simply just being there but not really focusing on what other people are doing. The music was muffled out and the only thing that was there was his heartbeat and his breath. Even those things began to leave him too.  _

_ Every breath that left him was punishment and every breath that came back was a blessing. Whenever the life leaves him, everything stops, his heart, his lungs, eventually his brain. Whatever he wanted or ever wished for, whatever pain he wanted to forget, slowly fades into the ocean of pure abyss. Then he breathes again and everything starts. He was scared. He wanted to call the ambulance and maybe he kept alive for a while but he didn't because he accepted that death was going to happen, and if he could go out with complete bliss, he would. So, he wanted to wait out for those sweet seconds of absolute oblivion. And eventually that's all he ever wanted. _

_ There wasn't a revelation or meetings with god when his heart stopped for the last time. It was dark and he was only left with what he thinks might be his soul. Korvo has done research multiple times on death, what it was like, what the person experiences. For a short while, when he was young, Korvo tried to understand death. He knew it was part of a cycle but what happens after? Korvo never got his answers. They were mostly just speculation and things he didn't believe.  _

_ Now he's here. This is where death is. The last stop on the train and he gets out. There's nothing. Of course, it doesn't mean he can see nothing, or that there was nothing. It was more like Korvo feels nothing. It was the same feeling he'd get whenever he was too high to function properly.  _

_ "This was what I was waiting for my whole life.  _ **_And this is it_ ** _?" It echoed into the metaphorical room of his mind.  _

_ Within hours, possibly days, he doesn't know how long his heart has been stopped for, his heart beats again. It's just as painful as having to breathe again after the long seconds of no air. The room changes color and he no longer feels nothing. It was sadness and joy. It was a feeling of hope that he so much despises but can't turn away from. _

Three days. Korvo has been in a coma for nearly three days and Terry hasn't gone home since. He was afraid that if he did, Korvo might die while he's gone. Terry hadn't brought the kids with him because he didn't want them to see Korvo like this. He held onto Korvo's hand, waiting for him to move or do something.

"Please come back to me." Terry whispered as he tried to stop himself from crying. "Terri already left me. I don't want you to leave me too."

John watches from outside. "Fucking idiot." He grimaces at Korvo. He couldn't even stay while Korvo was in a coma. Of course, he was angry, but he was also scared. He felt useless when he was there, that he couldn't somehow help Korvo. So he left, thinking it would be better that if Korvo did die, he didn't want to see it. It was best to avoid it then maybe it never happened in the first place. 

Terry had lied to Terri's family and even Korvo's family too. Korvo never wanted them to hear about his problems because he didn't want them to worry. It would be a hassle just to fly all the way to Washington just for nothing. As for Terry, he didn't want Terri's family to think Korvo was a bad father because he has his issues. He just didn't want them to take Jesse away from him and Korvo. 

There was warmth on his face, the kind where the sunlight touches and it doesn't burn. Korvo finally opened his eyes, but struggled to keep them open because the light was too bright in the hospital room. When his eyes adjusted, he instantly saw Terry standing at the foot of his bed, and he knew he fucked up with the look of his fiancé's face. There was horror, relief, and sadness in his eyes. 

Korvo looked down to see that he was in a hospital gown, then quickly realized he was in the hospital but he doesn't remember anything about it. There were no sirens, or red and blue flashes, or yelling and crying. He remembered everything going dark and quiet, then there was nothing. He was dead. Korvo looked at his trembling hands and thought he'd gone too far this time. 

Terry opened his mouth to say something but was interrupted by the doctor who came in. "Oh, good. You're awake." The doctor says. 

Korvo kept his eyes on Terry while the doctor spoke. He wasn't really paying any attention to him while he explained to Korvo that he had to go to rehab. That word stuck in his mind. It wasn't such a bad idea, seeing as he just died from an overdose and was brought back to life with machines and apple juice. 

Terry didn't get a chance to talk to Korvo all that much. To be honest, he didn't know what to say to him. He was just so relieved that Korvo woke up. The doctors had to do more tests on him to make sure he was stable enough to leave. 

The first few nights at rehab weren't bad but they weren't good either. Nobody ever said it was going to cure them of whatever affliction they had. Korvo specifically requested for no visitors. He couldn't face Terry or the kids, especially not John. He knew he would be pissed at him. Korvo couldn't face the shame.

To pass time, Korvo was fixated on complex math equations. It got into his head that if he could solve every problem then he could fix himself. He knew that wasn't the case and that it'll take time for him to be "normal", but Korvo still hoped anyway. 

First it was a few days, then weeks, and eventually Korvo hadn't realized he's been in rehab for three months. More often than not, Korvo thought about coming home and finding the house empty. It gave him another reason to stay longer. But what scared him the most was coming home and relapsing again. This time he'd die for real and he'll never see Terry or their kids again.

This was just as hard on Terry. Three months without seeing or hearing from the love of his life makes it hard to enjoy the simple things, like when his kids take their first steps. Of course, John was there to help but John wasn't the kid's father, Korvo was but he's not here. 

Terry cried every night, missing Korvo and feeling scared. He didn't sleep in their bedroom because that's where John found him when he OD'ed. Terry often slept in the living room and he had the baby cribs down there with him. Sometimes he had the babies in his arms while he laid on the couch and cried. They didn't know why their father was crying, but it definitely bothered them. Jesse would cry with Terry while Yumyulack would just stare blankly. He stopped crying for food or attention. Yumyulack stopped crying in general. 

The therapy sessions became longer but it didn't help Terry at all because Korvo was always on his mind. Terry began to drink again and he'd get into bar fights just so he could get someone to hurt him. He couldn't stop blaming himself and hurting himself felt like the perfect punishment for not being more cautious with Korvo, for trusting him when he shouldn't have. 

During one of the days of the three month hiatus from his fiancé, Terry went to Terri's grave and sat next to the tombstone with an opened can of Whiteclaw where the flowers should be. "What do I do, Terri?" He asked, holding a can of his own beer. She always seemed like she had all the answers. "Korvo OD'ed and- and now he won't even let me go visit him in rehab. It's the least he could do after scaring me like that!"

Terry wipes his tears, thinking back to when he first showed up at the hospital. The minute he got there, Korvo flatlined right in front of him. He was paralyzed in that spot as he watched the nurses grab the defibrillator and rubbed the metal parts together. It all happened in slow motion for Terry. Every second felt like an eternity as they tried to bring Korvo back.

It became harder to breathe as the nurses shocked Korvo with the defibrillator and he was still flatlined. The last try got his heart starting up again, and Terry felt his whole body tremble all at once. His chest never experienced pain this badly before, besides Terri dying. 

"After all this, Terri, I still can't bring myself to hate him." Terry explained. "Because when he died, when I saw him die, I died too."

This isn't love, Terry thought.  _ It's insanity. _ He wasn't sure if he was crazy for Korvo or if he was crazy because of Korvo. Honestly, he couldn't tell the difference anymore. Either way, Terry didn't have anyone else besides him. No one loved him before, not even Terri. 

Today was a different day. Terry decided to visit Korvo at rehab again and expected to be hit with "he requested for no visitors," but instead they told him to follow them. They brought Terry to a library room and he could see Korvo through the glass with multiple books. He was writing stuff on several pieces of paper. He looked exactly how Terry remembered him, though it hadn't been a long time but to Terry, it felt like forever.

"Korvo." The lady called. Korvo doesn't give her any attention because this equation was way more important than what she had to say. "You have a visitor."

Korvo's head snaps up to see Terry. He immediately blushes as his heart beats rapidly in his chest. After being together for so long, he still can't stop himself from being enraptured by Terry's presence. Terry was no different. He was getting butterflies in his stomach just from seeing Korvo after months of no contact. They smile at each other as Terry takes a seat in front of Korvo.

The lady was long gone and they were still speechless as they stared at each other. Korvo looked for any disappointment in Terry's eyes while Terry looked for any discomfort in Korvo's. Korvo wanted to apologize but he knows that won't change anything, or take back what he did. 

Terry was the first to break the overwhelming silence in the room. "Korvo, I love you." Terry says quickly. "I just wanted you to know."

Korvo's face broke. He expected anger and disappointment, maybe even a punch or two, and a huge "I want to break up because you can't control yourself." But instead, Terry gave him love. Korvo teared up, feeling all his emotions all at once, as he covered his face, sobbing into his hands. He hated Terry right now. How could he still love him after all this? Korvo didn't deserve it. "Stop." Korvo begged. "please, just… don't."

"but-"

He looked up from his hands as tears poured from his eyes. "I'm not good for you." He wanted to say that they shouldn't be together anymore, but he couldn't bring himself to say those exact words. And he didn't want to break up again either. "Forget about me. You should find someone be-"

"Stop." Terry interrupted. "This isn't about me or the kids. This is about you, so if you think leaving is going to make things better it won't because I know it won't fix you- if anything, it'll probably make things worse." 

"But I keep fucking up-" Korvo's voice cracked as he began to cry.

Terry cuts him off by grabbing him by the shirt and planting a kiss on his lips. "And I'm not going anywhere." He looks into Korvo's teary eyes. Terry leaned his forehead against Korvo's and he reached for his hand, lacing his fingers in his soon-to-be husband's. "I'm with you till the end. Even if you keep fucking up, I'll make sure you don't this time."

When Korvo calmed down, when Terry came over to hug him. He missed Terry's touch and his presence in general. He buried his face in Terry's abdomen, smelling the cologne off of his shirt.

"When are you going to leave this place? I miss you." Terry asked, stroking Korvo's black hair.

"I- I don't know." He stammers, knowing full well that he could just up and leave at any time. Rehab wasn't like prison where someone had to bail him. "I'm scared. What if I go back? What if I die-"

"You're not-" Terry says, a bit too loudly. "You're not gonna die. If you were in rehab for this long because you're afraid of dying, then I think you'll be fine outside."

Korvo looks up at Terry with hopelessness in his eyes. He wanted to believe him so badly, but he can't because Korvo doesn't believe he can change. "H- how are the kids?"

"They miss you." Terry answered, which only made Korvo even more depressed. 

"I miss them too." He hugs Terry tighter, remembering what his kids look like.

Korvo felt Terry shake as he chuckled. "They just learned how to walk." And he missed it. "Jesse almost said a full sentence." He missed that too. "Yumyulack is still quiet though, but I think it's because he wanted you to be there when he finally speaks."

It had occurred to Korvo that he's been in rehab for a while now. He counted the months in his head. It's July. "It's almost their birthday." He says. 

"Yeah." Terry sighed. "I didn't want you to miss their first birthday." How could Korvo say no to that? Of course, he wanted to be there. It's not everyday that your kids will turn exactly one year old. "Please tell me you're going to discharge yourself so you could be there. You could even come back to rehab if you want." That wasn't what Terry wanted but he was ready to bargain just to get Korvo to leave even for a little while. 

And so, that night Korvo packed the very little things he had with him. It was mostly just clothes that he could keep. He couldn't stop the palpitations in his chest when he thinks about being in the real world again. His whole stay in rehab was just him living in his own mind, not caring about the real world.

The next day he discharged himself, and Terry was there to drive Korvo back home. During the car ride, Terry says, "Make sure you apologize to John. He's been taking this pretty hard." 

When they drove into the driveway, John was standing by the door of their house. They got out of the car, while John watched. Korvo got to the entrance to the house and John was still in his way. 

"John." He says.

"Korvo." John says back.

"I'm sor-" Korvo gets interrupted by a fist to the face. It knocks him back. He holds his cheek from the blow, then John pulls Korvo's arm and knees him in the stomach. He kicks Korvo down onto the grass. "I deserve that." He wheezed, holding his abdomen.

John gets on top of Korvo, grabbing him by the collar of his shirt and punches him again. "You fucking dumbass!" He says with each punch. 

Terry watches as his fiancé gets beat by his best friend. He made a deal with John earlier that he gets to beat Korvo up because Terry couldn't do it. 

"I already lost the love of my life, I can't lose my best friend too!" John shouts in Korvo's face.

"I'm sorr-" 

"Stop saying that!" He slaps him across the face as the tears escape his eyes. He leans down to hug Korvo. "How could you be so stupid?" He whimpers as Korvo puts a hand on his back.

When John stopped crying on top of Korvo, he got off of him and pulled him off of the grass. "You let him beat me up?" Korvo asked Terry. 

"I didn't want to hit your beautiful face." Terry stroked Korvo's bruised up cheek. 

When they got into the house, Korvo sees Jesse and Yumyulack playing together. He was speechless. It's been so long since he last saw them. They both had more hair on their head. 

When Jesse spots Korvo, she coos, "dada!" And raises her arms to be carried by him. Korvo comes over and gets on his knees to pick Jesse up. She wraps her little arms around Korvo's neck. 

Yumyulack doesn't acknowledge Korvo and he could tell his son was mad at him. Regardless, Korvo still carried Yumyulack and hugged him. His son pushes away from Korvo.

"Me too, kid." John says, referring to Yumyulack rejecting Korvo. 

"I'm sorry, Yumyulack." Korvo says, hoping he would warm up to him a bit. 

Yumyulack begins to whine as he tries to wiggle away from Korvo. Terry went over to take him from Korvo and he stopped whining once he's in Terry's arms. "Wow, I never seen him this mad before."

"I don't blame him." Korvo narrowed his eyes as Jesse kept repeating "daddy" in the background. He holds Jesse by the armpits, then looks at Yumyulack. "God, when did they get so big?"

"Da-da!" Jesse coos, reaching for Korvo's face. 

Terry chuckles as he watches Jesse touch Korvo's face. "Jesse missed you." He says, then he looks at Yumyulack who's falling asleep on his shoulder. "Yumyulack missed you too, but he's just mad that you disappeared."

Korvo frowns. He's mad at himself too. He didn't think they would remember him.

"I'm sure he'll forgive you. I mean, he can't be mad forever. He's just a baby." Terry reassured as he began to sweat.

"But he's smart." Korvo says, trying to come to terms that Yumyulack would probably hate him forever. He might never talk because of this. 

"So, what's the plan?" John asked, his arms crossed. They started at him unsure of what he meant. "The birthday, remember?"

"Oh, we get a cake, invite people we know. It's not that hard, John." Terry explained. 

"Then, what the f- why am I here?" He threw his hands up.

"Because Korvo's here?" John gave Terry a look. "What? I wanted you to make up." 

"I'm leaving." John grimaces. "I missed an appointment for this!"

"We'll call you if anything happens." Terry says, waving back at John as he leaves out the door. 

Later in the day, Korvo tries to care for Yumyulack. He tries to change his diaper but Yumyulack pees on him and laughs. Korvo tries to feed Yumyulack but he throws the food at Korvo. However, when Terry changes Yumyulack or feeds him, he's himself again. Whenever Yumyulack catches Korvo looking at him, he throws one of his toys at him. Korvo wasn't too sure if he knew how to parent.

"He hates me." Korvo says, sitting on a tall stool in the kitchen. 

"He doesn't hate you." Terry wiped down the table from the baby food that Yumyulack threw while Korvo tried to feed him.

"I don't see our son throwing anything at you." He crossed his arms, pouting. 

"Don't be like that, Korvy." Terry leans down to kiss Korvo but he looks away. "You're that upset about this?"

"Yes!" His shoulders raised as he grew tense. "I was gone, Terry, for three months! I missed their first steps. I miss the important stuff!"

Terry puts down the rag and pulls Korvo into a hug. "It's not the end of the world. You still have more important stuff to be there for."

Korvo narrowed his eyes as he slowly relaxed, and wrapped his arms around his fiance's waist. Terry leaned down to give Korvo a smooch on the lips. "What if I relapse again?" He thought out loud without meaning to.

Terry kisses him again. "I'll beat the living shit out of you if you try." 

Korvo blushed at the thought of Terry dominating over him. "That's really hot." His hands snuck under Terry's shirt, sliding his hands up his back. He could feel his pants get tighter as he day dreamed about Terry being on top of him. 

"Not now." Terry whispered, making Korvo pout as he slid his hand out of his shirt. 

Korvo watches Terry's hips sway as he leaves the kitchen to check up on the kids. Terry finds Jesse sleeping on the couch while Yumyulack was lazily watching the cartoons. It was definitely time for bed. Terry carried Jesse while Korvo carried Yumyulack. He was too tired to fight him off. They put their kids to bed, then went to their room. 

Korvo closed the door behind him while he had Terry in his arms, enraptured by his kisses. They stumbled back as they reached the bed. Korvo didn't notice that everything looked like it hadn't been touched for a while because he was too focused on Terry. They stripped each other without breaking their kiss. 

Terry fell onto the cold sheets of the bed as his fiancé got on top, covering his body in light fluttering kisses. He slowly trailed his lips down to Terry's crotch and made him flustered. Stroking his cock, Korvo tasted Terry's erection. "There's some things I miss while being in rehab."

"Don't talk about rehab while you're sucking my dick." Terry laughed. 

Korvo went back to pleasuring Terry with his mouth. He hummed while he deepthroated as a moan escaped Terry’s lips. He did a combination of sucking and stroking, but you get the point. 

“When did you get so good?” Terry groans, running a hand through Korvo’s hair. 

“Practice.” Korvo jokes referring to the time he lied about practicing fellatio in the bathroom when really he was eating pills. 

Korvo came up and marked Terry in little love bites. It’s been so long since he’s touched him like this and he wasn’t planning to be hinged when he fucks him. When Korvo comes up to kiss Terry, he places a finger to his lips. "Please, don't  _ ever _ leave me again."

He gazed into Terry's eyes, thinking that this would be the last time he would abuse drugs again. This was the last straw after all. Not many people are lucky enough to escape that. "I'll come to you if I do l." He closes the space between him and Terry, feeling the softness of his lips on his own.

Terry held his breath as he kissed Korvo for fear that if he inhaled, he might kill him. In a sense, it would've but he neglected to realize that he also breathed life into Korvo. He pulled him closer as Korvo leaned an arm into the cushion of the bed, putting his weight on it. His breath hitched as he felt Korvo slowly pushed his cock into his ass. 

The room grew steamy as the pleasure built up. Terry raked Korvo's back with his nails as he suppresses moans so it wouldn't wake the kids, or the whole neighborhood with his sounds. He tasted the salt of Korvo's sweat as he let him explore his body more. He couldn’t stop himself from thinking that he’s crazy for being in love with Korvo. As much as he loved him, he knows this is bad for his family if Korvo ever goes back to drugs again. Hooking his legs around Korvo’s waist, he pulls him closer. It was more than just sex this time and Korvo knew that he was scared too. 

Korvo connects his lips to Terry’s to stop him from crying and apologizing for it. None of this was Terry’s fault, at least that’s how Korvo saw it. He tasted the tears, but he was here now and that’s all that mattered to him. 

They laid in bed together with the covers over their nude bodies. Terry was in Korvo’s arms, enjoying his company and listening to his heartbeat. Who knew such sounds could bring peace especially since Terry had the people he cares about die in front of him. He slowly blinks himself into a quiet slumber, and when Korvo feels him go limb, he slips out of the bed. Dressing himself, he leaves the room. 

Jesse stared up at Korvo from her crib while Yumyulack was already in a deep sleep. He takes the chair from the corner of the room and places it in front of their cribs. Taking a seat, he rests his elbows on his knees, and Jesse was still staring at him. He smiles at her and she smiles back.

“Dada.” She cooed, reaching for him behind the bars of the crib. 

He gives her his finger to hold. “Yeah.” He answers as his smile drops. "I'm such a bad father. I don't even remember you being born, or Terri dying, or taking Yumyulack home. I was too high all the time and I keep missing… moments like this. I wanna be here for you and Yumyulack, and for your dad."

The force of human nature made Korvo’s eyes tear up. He didn’t know why he was so overwhelmed from Jesse holding his finger. “Don cwy.” She says, trying to touch his face. “Daddy crwies.” She was referring to Terry crying when Korvo was gone.

He wipes his tears with the back of his free hand, smiling at how smart she was to understand what sadness is. “Daddy cries?” He repeated. 

“Mhmm.” She says. “Ewey night.”

Korvo’s stomach dropped, feeling even more guilty. Jesse did the things with her hands so she could be carried. Korvo obliged, taking her into his arms. She hugs him, knowing full well that he needed one. He wondered if Terry told the kids about what he did and why he wasn’t home. He hoped he didn’t. Korvo didn’t want the kids to know how ugly he was deep down. 

The tears escaped as he held Jesse and he didn’t realize he was crying again. “Daddy!” He hears Jesse call, feeling her reach behind him. Korvo turned around to see Terry by the doorway. 

“Terry,” Korvo sighed as he came over and took Jesse from his hands. “I was scared for a second. I thought you-” He doesn’t finish the sentence to save Korvo from remembering that he used to be a druggie. “Nevermind.” Terry shakes his head. He looks at Jesse who was still smiling. “You’re supposed to be in bed.”

She shakes her head. “No.”

“Jesse.”

“No!”

Korvo and Terry ended up staying up late with her until she fell asleep. 


	18. Chapter 18

Before they could blink, it was already July 21st, Jesse and Yumyulack's birthday. And there still was no cake. 

"I can't believe you forgot to order the cake." Korvo sipped from a juice box while holding the ladder that Terry is standing on. The juice boxes were supposed to be for the kids but Korvo bought them so it's his juice boxes. 

"I know, which is why John is picking it up." He hung up pink and blue decorations from the ceiling. Luckily, he did it instead of Korvo because he would have to step higher on the ladder and Korvo isn't a big fan of heights. "Aren't you excited, Korvy? Our babies are growing up! And the whole family's gonna be here!"

Of course, Terry would be happy about this. He never got to experience birthdays or family gatherings, well, one where he isn't excluded from. He only wished Terri was here to see how much their kid has grown. 

"Hey, when they get here, don't mention anything about me overdosing." Korvo tells Terry as he climbs down the ladder. 

"You know I won't." He caressed Korvo's cheek with a warm smile on his face. "Should probably tell John that." 

Once the decorations were up, they had to wait for the fam to get here. The first person to show up was Terri's parents and her older sister, Manny. But Jack wasn't there. She still couldn't forgive Terry for Terri's passing. Then Mister Korvo showed up with his sister, Korvo's aunt, and the cousins. Immediately, they wanted to see the kids. 

Jesse and Yumyulack were confused, but Jesse was a happy kind of confused because she got to meet new people. And she couldn't wait to tell everyone her new secret. Taking a big puff of air, she shouts, "Dada died!"

Jesse began to repeat the phrase in a sing-song voice as if she was happy that Korvo was dead. Obviously, she wouldn't be happy about that because she didn't know about the concept of death. Korvo quickly scooped her up and ran into the kitchen. The family all looked at Terry as he awkwardly smiles and makes a stupid joke about Jesse having an active imagination.

Korvo sets her on the counter as she repeats the death of her father like a mantra. "No, no, no. Dada's right here." He tries convincing the baby. When Terry entered the room, he turned to him. "Did you mention anything about me being gone to her?"

"No!" Terry's eyes roamed the room as if he was hiding something. "I mean, I think? It's all kinda fuzzy to me because I was drunk-"

"You were drinking in front of the kid!" Korvo yelled.

"Shh! Calm down, Korvo. You want the whole house to know about that?" He says sarcastically. "But yes, I happen to have had… one too many while you were in rehab, and I was talking to myself. I didn't think she was listening." 

"Terry!" 

"Ghost!" Jesse giggled. 

"Aw, she learned a new word." Terry pinches her small baby cheeks as he complimented her. 

Korvo raked his fingers through his hair. "Oh, my God. What is my dad gonna think about this?" 

"Think about what?" Mister Korvo stood by the doorway. 

Korvo quickly turns to face his father as he starts sweating profusely from apprehension. "A-abou-"

"The party!" Terry interrupted. "It's great, isn't it?" He lets out a fake laugh as he puts an arm around Mister Korvo and begins to talk about nothing as he turns him out of the door. He turns back to Korvo for a split second to shoot him a look that says "fix her."

Korvo looks her in the eyes and tries to be serious. "Okay, Jesse, dada's not dead. can you say that?"

She nods, repeating what Korvo said. 

"Good, now keep saying that throughout the party." 

"Cake." She says.

"You want cake? But the cake isn't here yet."

"I wan cake!" She yelled. 

"Sweetie, the cake-"

"Dada dead!" 

Down at the bakery, John gets a phone call while waiting for his order. He checks the ID to see it was his best pal. "What, Korvo?" He answers, then listens to Korvo screech about death and cake. "Slow down, asshole. You're not making any sense."

"Hurry and get the cake! Jesse learned how to blackmail." Korvo says through the phone.

"Oh, sure! Let me wait in line faster because that'll help." He says, sarcastically. "And Jesse's only one, she doesn't even know what blackmail is."

Through the phone John hears Jesse screaming "dada dead". 

"That's not good." John hissed.

"She really wants that cake, John."

"Okay, fine. I'll see what I can do."

He hangs up and sighs. He can't believe what he's about to do. 

Korvo had promised Jesse a cake if she kept quiet about the secret. He didn't want people becoming suspicious about her or him. Just when the commotion died down. John busts through the door with a ski mask on, holding a cake box and a gun. Someone screamed and it was Terry. 

"Relax, it's just me!" John pulled off the mask and held his hand up **.**

"John, what the fuck!" Korvo screeched. 

"Fuck!" Jesse repeated. 

"What? You wanted me to get the cake faster." John shrugged.

"Not by robbing the bakery! What are you, crazy?"

The family began to whisper among themselves and Korvo dragged John into the kitchen. Terry slyly followed along. 

He shoved John into a chair. "This seems bad, but I did not rob the bakery despite what you might think."

"You showed up to my house with a mask and a gun. Where did you even get a gun?" Korvo shouted. 

"Did you actually rob a bakery?" Terry chuckled with his arms crossed. "That's pretty low, even for you."

"No, I pretended to rob the bakery and then paid them anyway. So, it's not a big deal." He shrugged. 

"You know they could've gotten your license plate and called the cops, right?" Korvo says, as a matter of fact.

"Don't worry, I parked my car somewhere far."

"And if you leave later today, they're going to arrest you." Korvo crossed his arms.

John was silent for a moment because Korvo had a point. "You wanted the cake, Korvo!"

"Not like this, John! Not like this."

So, the party was going great. Everybody got along. Mister made friends with Terri's parents, relating losing his wife to child birth too. Terri's parents expressed that they're glad that Terri died before ever getting married to John because he's a criminal now. Korvo's cousins played with Yumyulack and tried to get him to speak but they weren't successful. So they tried to speak english to him to see if he would understand but he just stared at them blankly. 

The adults were drinking wine and Korvo was still sipping on juice boxes. He hoped he didn't look too stupid for enjoying a kid's drink. 

Suddenly the lights were out and Yumyulack didn't understand why. He sees Uncle John come out of the kitchen with a cake and candles but he didn't know how the sticks were on fire because he had no concept of what fire was and how it worked. Jesse was next to him when John set the cake in front of them. He grimaces at the blue and pink sweetness of the cake. He didn't enjoy sweet things, much like when Terry would give him a juice box but he would throw it somewhere else. He hated sweets. He knew for sure that his sister loved sweets. She never rejected juice boxes or ice cream. 

"Cake!" Jesse had her hands up, trying to reach for it. 

Terry had told Jesse to not touch the cake but she was still reaching for it, repeating the word "cake." 

Terry and the rest of the strangers in his house started singing Happy Birthday. Korvo was in front of them trying to take pictures. The flashes were so blinding to Yumyulack that he had to blink away the sparkles in his eyes. 

The people were saying something about blowing the candles and Jesse beat Yumyulack to it. He watched as the candle wick sizzled from the air and the smoke escaped it. He hadn't realized everyone was clapping for them. 

Soon it was cake time. 

Yumyulack stared at the piece of cake laying on the plate in front of him. He could smell the diabetes coming off of the frosting. 

"What's wrong, Yumyulack?" Korvo asked him. He didn't realize his father was sitting next to him. Instead of responding, Yumyulack picked up his fork and threw it at Korvo. Already used to his shenanigans, Korvo catches it and sets it on the table. "You can't still be mad at me?" He whispered.

He  _ is _ still mad. He doesn't know why though. Maybe because every night when Korvo was gone, he saw his other father cry over him. Maybe because he feels abandoned. Either way, he's a baby and he can be mad at his dad for playing the longest game of peek-a-boo. Yumyulack pushes the plate away from him and Korvo frowns. He was an inch away from crying on his son's birthday.

There were boxes of pinks and blues, all of which caught Yumyulack's attention. Lucky for him, he got to open the blue ones. He wanted to open all of them. They were mostly things he didn't know of and Terry was the one who helped him with unwrapping the colored paper, while Korvo helped with Jesse. 

The flashing lights of the camera were so bright that Yumyulack could barely see anything or anymore. It didn't matter anyway. He won't remember his first birthday, but he certainly will remember the bitter feeling he has towards his dad. 

There was music somewhere and people dancing, just having an overall good time. Yumyulack just wanted to go in his room to be with his best friend, Mr. Shark. It's the shark plushie that Terry won him during his date with Korvo. Even though the music wasn't loud, it was overwhelming to him. The amount of strangers in his house was overwhelming to him too. For some reason his heart beat really fast and it felt like being in a trance and he couldn't do much besides stare blankly and observe.

Before Yumyulack knew it, the party people were leaving, and he could not be more relieved. The palpitations were slowly easing as he watched the strangers leave the house. They said their goodbyes to him and Jesse, then his parents. He found it weird that his dad had someone who looked like him at the party. Whoever that guy was, Yumyulack respected that man.

"Drive home safe!" Terry waved at his family goodbye, then closed the door. He turned to Korvo who was leaning against the wall. "That went better than expected-"

"Except the part where John robs a bakery." He and Korvo said at the same time, almost in perfect sync.

"You guys make me want to vomit." John complained with his arms crossed. "I'm gonna head out too."

Korvo pulls his hand on John's shoulder before he heads out the door. "Be careful, okay?"

"Okay, mom." John joked, then he was out the door.

"You really don't think he's going to get arrested, do you?" Terry asked.

"No, he's smarter than that." 

The next day, at 4pm, Korvo's cell rings, startling him from watching kid's cartoons with his children. It was from an unknown number. It was probably a scam, he thought. He loved getting scam calls because he would scam them back and make the situation uncomfortable for the caller. Answering the phone, "hello," he says, almost singing the word.

"Hey, uh. You were right. They were waiting." John explains over the phone. 

Korvo grunted, setting down his juice box. "Where did they take you?" He asked, vex in his voice.

After a 30 minute drive to Terri's parent's place to drop the kids off, he drove an additional hour to get to the police station. It just happened to be the one furthest away from where Korvo lived. This one was at the edge of the city. 

When the police guard escorted Morvo to see John, he was behind bars. It was a sight to see for Korvo. Never in a million years would he see his goodie-two-shoes best friend in a cell. A smile plastered on his face as he came closer. 

"Stop smiling. This isn't funny." John retorted.

"I know. I'm just having a great time because I just got a fat sandwich from the 'I-told-you-so' shop, which I will metaphorically hand to you in congrats to proving me right." John rolled his eyes. He couldn't punch the smirk from Korvo's face and risk being in jail for real.

Avoiding the comment all together, he gestured for Korvo to come closer. So he does. "I lied. I said that someone must've stolen my car." John explains in a whisper. 

"You dumbass." Korvo ridiculed his friend. 

"You wanted cake." 

"Will you stop saying that?" Korvo rubbed his temple. "So, how much to bail you?"

"I'm not in jail, stupid. They're just interrogating me. I'll be out in no time **.** " John wasn't confident. In fact, he was terrified. This would be bad on his record and he'll never get a job again.

"That's what every prisoner says in every prison movie." Korvo wasn't helping.

"They're gonna keep me here for 24 hours-ish and find out I'm getting the truth, because someone actually did break into my car a few days prior. I have the marks to prove it." John says slyly. 

"And you didn't tell me about this?" Korvo pouted, furrowing his brows.

"Korvo, you never tell me anything." Though it was true that Korvo wasn't always a great friend, he didn't appreciate John doing the same thing to him, even though he does deserve it. 

"This is no time to be petty, dick." Korvo mocked. He checks the time. "Visiting time is almost over, so I'm heading out." He backs away from the cell as he walks backwards to the entrance door where the guard is standing. "Call me if you need anything. Oh, wait. You can't because you already used up your one call." He laughs as he gets escorted outside by a police guard. 

"So, John's in jail?" Terry had his phone wedged in between his shoulder and his ear as he changed Jesse's diaper. He picked up the kids earlier from their grandparents house because Korvo had told him he was leaving them there for a bit while he checked up on John.

"No, but I like to think he is." 

"Wait, so who's gonna babysit Jesse and Yumyulack?" Terry adjusted his phone with his free hand.

Korvo was quiet for a moment. He hadn't told Terry that he's currently unemployed ever since he skipped out on work to do drugs. "I could do it." 

Terry snickers through the phone. "Yeah, right? Did you forget you have a job?" 

"They're not gonna let me into work after coming out of rehab." He says, turning into the driveway. "Actually, they're probably not gonna let me into work at all."

"What-" Korvo begins to sweat as he thinks about Terry scolding him for getting fired from his job.

"Can'tcallontheroad,Iloveyou.Bye!" He quickly hangs up and toss his phone in the passenger seat. A groan escapes him as he leans his head against the steering wheel.

After waiting in his car for a few minutes, he finally decides to go in the house. Peaking through the door, he checks to see if Terry was in the living room. Maybe he could avoid him by sneaking in. Tiptoeing into the house, he sneaks into the kitchen. There's still no sound. Perfect. Terry hadn't realized he came in the house, or so he thinks. 

He cracked the fridge open, avoiding making any noise and pulled out a can of dr Pepper. Turning around, Terry was in the doorway that separated the little corridor from the kitchen. "Terry!" He lets out a shaky laugh. "What- what's up, baby?" He asked, clearly nervous because he almost never calls his fiancé a pet name unless he was trying to gain something, in this case, it's forgiveness. He leaned his hand on the counter, trying to act casual. 

"You don't have a job." Terry went straight to the point as he stepped into the kitchen. 

"Well-"

"Don't fucking lie to me!" He yelled, knowing that Korvo would try to lie to him to get out of his responsibilities. And once upon a time, Terry thought he was the immature one. 

"Okay, I currently don't have one, but I will when I find one." He puts his hands up in defense. 

Terry rubbed his forehead with his fingers, clearly annoyed and frustrated with Korvo. "How long have you been keeping this from me?"

His shoulders dropped as he looked away in shame. "Since before I overdosed."

"Oh, my god." Terry whispered, shaking his head. "Wait, so, what were you doing after you came back from rehab?"

"Taking care of the kids." He answered. "I kept cancelling on John. You know, I thought he'd be more suspicious of me doing that but I don't think he noticed."

Terry thought about Korvo being the housewife in the relationship, when normally he would be the one to do it. Then the thought of his financé in a maid outfit popped into his mind. That wasn't such a bad idea after all **.**

"Terry?" 

"Huh?" He gets snapped back into reality, pretending he wasn't just daydreaming about Korvo in a maid outfit while they were having a serious conversation.

"You okay?"

**"** Yeah," He nodded. "I was just thinking about you… being a stay at home dad." 

"You mean what you used to be?" Korvo raised a brow. 

"Exactly! So, what do you think?" 

"I think you want me to be a stay at home dad." 

"Maybe I do." 

"Well, that's not gonna happen." Korvo frowned, crossing his arms. 

"Why not?"

"Terry, I'm- I was an addict. You seriously trust me alone in the house with the kids. I might OD again." Fuck. He was right. Sure, he took care of the kids after rehab but he was still looking for a job while doing it. He couldn't just sit around and pretend that he didn't just die from being left alone.

"But when you were doing drugs, you did it outside the house too. So, how do I know you won't do it again?" He narrowed his eyes. 

"Because… I promise." Korvo jokes, knowing full well he keeps breaking drug abstinence promises.

Terry smacks Korvo's arm. "This isn't a joke!" 

"'kay, sorry." He rubs his arm. "If you think trapping me in the house is gonna make me any less of… what I was, then it's not gonna work. It's a me issue. I have to figure it out by myself."

"Well, what about me? Am I not part of you or this, whatever problems you have? You think I can't help you?" Terry's eyes were soft and hurt because he didn't want Korvo to go through his problems alone. 

"That's not what I meant." 

"Then what do you mean?" He was becoming increasingly angry from Korvo's choice in words.

"I have to do this alone." 

Terry was quiet for a moment as he gathered his thoughts. "How the hell are we supposed to get married if you keep thinking that it's just you against the world? I want to help you, Korvo, but you keep leaving me out." 

Marriage was on his mind now. Terry was right but Korvo knew he keeps hurting him with his problems. He just wanted it to be easier on him. "I don't want to hurt you." 

"Korvo, I'm choosing to help you despite that because we're partners." Terry puts a hand on Korvo's shoulder, feeling him relax under his touch. 

"Could we be a little more than that?" He smirked, leaning and puckering up to kiss Terry.

"May-be." He gave Korvo the same bedroom eyes. "If you're being good." 

"Baby, call me Superman because I'm good." He pulls Terry by the waist so that they're closer. 

"Wait, wasn't he evil in the Injustice comic?" He glances at Korvo smiling at him being a closeted nerd. "Who cares." He captured his lips as they shared a kiss. 


	19. Chapter 19

It was like just yesterday the kids were celebrating their first birthday, but a year has passed now and Jesse and Yumyulack are two years old. Jesse began to speak a lot and her words were more comprehensible than last year. She was mostly active and ran around often. However, she was different from her brother. He didn’t run around like she did, nor did he speak, at all. They would still play together, but Yumyulack would become aggressive sometimes but immediately felt guilty for it. He would be mean to Jesse whenever she got more attention or whenever Korvo was trying to care for him, he would express his discontent with fits of crying or outright throw something at him for him to go away. His parents couldn’t understand why he was so moody all the time, yet he's clingier than Jesse. 

Yumyulack didn’t speak, not because he didn’t want to, but because he couldn’t, and he didn’t know why. Everytime he tried he would freeze up, ending in him not saying anything. This made him more aggressive and angry because he would be misunderstood by his parents. While Terry was worried about Yumyulack’s lack of speech, Korvo wasn’t. He thought it was because he’s a late bloomer. He didn’t start worrying until Yumulack was four and he was still quiet. 

The doctors, after running some tests on the child and finding that he wasn’t deaf or autistic, or mute, concluded that Yumyulack has an anxiety disorder that causes him to be unable to speak. In other words, “selective mutism,” the doctor said. "It's also called situational mutism, where he can't speak under certain conditions. If he hasn't spoken yet, there's a chance he won't speak at all."

They didn't know what to do with that information. Of course there was no cure. They just needed to be there for their child. The doctor did say there's a "chance". They didn't know if that was a high chance or not. Korvo and Terry blamed themselves for this, knowing that they hadn't been great at raising their kids together. 

They went home that night sad and disappointed in themselves, thinking that they already fucked up Yumyulack's life before he even got to experience it. Yumyulack knew somehow that he fucked up, that he was a disappointment for being the problem child. It wasn't exactly that feeling but it didn't make him feel good. He could tell by the way his parents looked that he did something bad. 

And it didn't help Yumyulack at all that he was mute. At the age of 7, the other kids at school noticed something wrong with him; how he never spoke or made eye contact, how he would walk away when someone asked him a question, how he avoided interacting with anyone. He soon became a subject for the bigger, badder kids to pick on.

It started with name calling in the corridors, then pushing, then eventually they'd throw things at him. Because he would be overcome with anxiety, he never does anything to stop them. He wasn't the only one who was picked on. Jesse faced a similar fate for being the opposite of her brother. She never stopped talking. She was targeted by boys and girls for accidentally spilling secrets by repeating what was said. Because she was notorious for spilling secrets and being a subject for the popular kids, no one wanted to be her friend. The only friend she had was Yumyulack, but that didn't count because they're siblings. Unlike her brother, Jesse was optimistic, thinking that even if they said mean things to her, they were still talking to her. And she thought that was better than being avoided by everyone. 

Jesse never told Korvo and Terry about this because she didn't want to lose her "friends." Her friendships with those people ended when they took it too far. 

It was recess and the kids were playing outside. Yumyulack would usally sit under his tree, doodling or writing down his name. He hated his name. It was one of the things they'd bully him about. Jesse was by the swing set, trying to talk to the bullies. They were mad at her again for breaking up a kid relationship between a girl and a boy. Yumyulack watched as the boys were yelling at Jesse. It wasn't until he saw the boy push his sister that he got up and went over to the fight. He got in front of Jesse as he stared down the bully. 

"The mute finally does something!" The bully says. Yumyulack didn't know why he's doing this. He would be the last person to confront anyone. Everybody is staring and he feels stupid, but the kid decided to be a dick and push his sister.

Jesse looked between them. Sensing there's going to be a fight, she grabbed onto her brother's arm, slightly tugging him back. 

"What are you gonna do?" The bully instigated, stepping closer to Yumyulack, invading his personal space. 

She tugs his arm harder for Yumyulack to back away, but he doesn't budge. He was so overwhelmed with anger and the shit he had to endure from these kids who think they're better than him because they were "normal." 

Scared for her brother's safety, Jesse acted first and pushed the bully away, but he grabbed onto her wrist. Yumyulack punches him, making him release his grip on Jesse. The bully jumps at Yumyulack and they fall to the cemented ground. He throws several punches at him as Yumyulack kicked at him and threw fists back. 

It wasn't long before the teachers broke up their fight and they were sent to the principal's office. The bully made a case for himself, claiming that Yumyulack started it first even though it wasn't true. He was well aware that Yumyulack couldn't defend himself. 

He hugged himself as his teeth dug into his tongue. There were several more minutes of listening to the bully's lies, which made Yumyulack even more pissed. Relief struck him as he saw his dad come through the door. 

The teacher explained what happened to Korvo. He kept his eyes on Yumyulack because the bruise on his face was getting darker, and it concerned him. He could tell what the teacher was saying wasn't the truth because of the way Yumyulack narrowed his eyes at the floor and how he clenched his teeth. He only did that when he knew something that someone else didn't. 

Korvo thanked the teacher and took Yumyulack home. He dismissed Jesse from school too. He didn't want her to be here knowing the kids were so ill mannered. 

Yumyulack was in the passenger seat while Jesse was in the back seat. "Dad, Yumyulack didn't start the fight. The other kids were talking about it in class and it's not true!" She says from the back seat.

"I know, sweetie." Korvo answers. 

"Oh, you do?" She sounded embarrassed, as she rubbed the back of her head and chuckled. "How?"

"Because that bitch, Mrs. whatever-her-name-is, always had it out for you guys." Korvo answers, making Yumyulack chuckle at his boldness to swear in front of them even when Terry specifically told him not to. Korvo glances at Yumyulack's laughing face. "It's not your fault Yumyulack." Korvo kept his eyes on the road as he reached to tousle his son's hair. 

This time he doesn't pull away and relaxes with the presence of his father. His face was hot as he grabbed onto Korvo's hand. "Thanks, pops." His voice was small and soft-spoken, but Korvo could hear it loud and clear. He smiled throughout the car ride home.

Korvo couldn't wait for Terry to come home. He kept blowing his phone with texts, telling him that something great happened but when Terry asked what it was Korvo tells him that he'll tell him in person. This happened over a span of five hours. At that point, Terry wouldn't even respond to Korvo anymore.

When Terry finally got home, the kids were playing Jenga in the dining room and Korvo was making dinner. He walked in to see Korvo wearing the apron that he got him. It was pink and gay, and Terry loved it. He glances at the kids to make sure they weren't looking, then he hugs Korvo from behind, sneaking in a kiss or two on the back of his neck. "So, what is it you wanna tell me?" Terry whispers into his ear.

Korvo turns around, patting his fiance on the shoulder. "I'll tell you later."

"Aw, c'mon. You were bugging me all day about this and you still wanna save it for later?" Terry narrowed his eyes, realizing that the big surprise might be some kinky sex. He smirked. "Actually, yeah. We'll talk about it later."

"Actually, there is one thing." Korvo uttered quietly so the kids couldn't hear. "Yumyulack got in the fight at school today. Don't mention anything about it, okay?"

"You got it, babe." Terry didn't mean it. He's fuming. He wanted to know who did it, where they lived, what their social security numbers were. He agreed to keep it a secret like Korvo asked but curiosity got the best of him at the dinner table. "Yumyulack, who was it?"

"Terry!" Korvo shouted.

"I wanna know." He turns his attention back to his son. "Tell me who it is and daddy will fix this." 

Yumyulack doesn't answer, but Jesse does. "Billy Patrick!" She blurted, then covered her mouth. The rest of the fam looked towards her direction at the dinner table. Yumyulack gave her a panicked expression, which made her realize she fucked up. "I- I mean…"

"I'm gonna have a talk with _Billy_ 's parents." Terry says. 

Yumyulack opened his mouth to say, "no, don't do that. The other kids are gonna make fun of me for involving you guys." But he was silent. He looks Korvo in the eyes, then switches his glances between him and Terry. 

Korvo got the memo and puts a hand on Terry's shoulder to stop him from ranting. "You don't have to do that." He says. "I'll handle it." 

"But-"

"I'll handle it." He snapped. 

Terry puts his hands up in defense. "Okay, jeez." 

It was a silent dinner afterwards. 

After the dinner and the cleaning, and the parenting, the two guys went into their room because it was still the weekday and they didn't want to sleep in. "So, what was the thing you were dying to tell me about?" Terry asked, while changing into his pajama pants. When he was done, he plopped onto Korvo's lap. 

"Yumyulack spoke today." His smile was wide and slightly painful but he was too happy to keep a straight face. 

"No way." Terry exhaled. He grabbed onto Korvo's hands. "Well? W-what did he say?" 

"He thanked me for today." Korvo was practically bouncing on the bed, the same as Terry was. "He called me pops." 

"I'm so jealous!" He gasped. "God, I wish I was there!" 

"Maybe next time he'll speak again." Korvo leans in towards Terry for a goodnight kiss because he couldn't sleep without one. 

"Yeah," He gives Korvo a smooch without realizing it. It's become part of their routine that it's something he doesn't have to think about. "So, what are you gonna do about _Billy_?"

"Why do you keep saying his name like that?" 

"What? With emphasis?" Terry raised a brow.

"No, in italic." 

"Answer the question, Korvo." He crossed his arms.

"You'll see." Korvo says, menacingly, rubbing his hands together. 

"No, I won't. I'm gonna be at work tomorrow." Terry retorted.

"Not in the morning, though. Then, you'll see my plan." He does a devious chuckle. "Okay, well, goodnight." He pulls the covers over his body and lays in bed, facing away from Terry. 

He smiles at Korvo's silliness and closes the light to end their day. 

Yumyulack started off his day with pancakes, no syrup or anything sweet because just the simple flat cake itself was too sweet for him. And this time, it was Terry making them. His parents always take turns making breakfast in the morning. Sometimes, when they're not looking, Yumyulack would take a sip of Korvo's coffee and tasted the bitterness of the morning beverage. It was what he looked forward to most days, but Korvo didn't make coffee today. Thus concludes Yumyulack starting his day off with a shitty morning. 

School wasn't great either. The other kids no longer bothered him because of what happened. Billy's friends tried to pick on Yumyulack for sending the kid to the principal's office yesterday, but with their leader absent, they just gave him dirty looks. But Yumyulack didn't care about the stares. He always felt like he was being watched anyway. This was just a normal Tuesday to him.

He stared at Billy Patrick's empty desk. He wondered where he was. Most importantly, he wondered what Korvo did, since he mentioned that he "would handle it". Yunyulack didn't think Korvo meant anything by that and was just trying to get Terry to stop embarrassing him. He wondered if Korvo talked to Billy's parents, or somehow killed Billy. Was that why he didn't drink coffee today? 

He over-analyzed the situation as many scenarios played in his head. It stopped him from doing his work or listening to his sister ramble about whatever during lunch. He couldn't eat. He was excited and terrified. He didn't want his parents to go to jail for killing his bully. Yumyulack wasn't old enough to take care of himself or Jesse. The thought ate away at him until school was over. 

They stood at the entrance of the school as Korvo drove up to it. The kids got in the car and Yumyulack stared at his father in the passenger seat. Of course, Korvo noticed, but when he was about to drive. Yumyulack tugged on his arm to really get his attention. His expression was concerning as his lips formed a thin line. That could mean anything in Korvo's eyes. 

"Billy wasn't at school today." Jesse says from the back seat, breaking the silence.

Yumyulack nodded in agreement, but his eyes were glued to his father. 

"You think I had something to do with it?" Korvo asked. 

Yumyulack nodded again. 

Korvo started the car and drove off from the school. "If you're wondering what I did, no, I didn't talk to his parents." 

That was one of Yumyulack's stresses that was eased.

"It just so happens that today, Billy's couldn't come to school. No, I didn't kill him, if that's what you're thinking." Korvo says. "Unfortunately, his mom's car exploded, for no reason." He shrugs dramatically.

The thumping of his heart was loud in Yumyulack's ears. He grew a smile on his face. This was way better than having parents talk about kid issues, and way less embarrassing. And Korvo won't be going to jail because he didn't kill anyone. 

"At least that's what I heard." Korvo picked his words carefully, so Jesse wouldn't tell the whole neighborhood that he was the one who blew up her car. It was all the works of one gift Korvo’s father gave him: the lazer pen.

As the kids got older, Yumyulack still hadn’t spoken very much, not to his parents anyway, but they grew to understand what he wanted by his body language and his expressions. When they couldn’t understand what he wanted, he would tell them in little words. Or when he tries to get their attention, he’d call them by name. It saddened Korvo to hear his son call him, “Korvo” instead of “pops”, like before. It didn’t bother Terry at all because what mattered to him was that Yumyulack was comfortable enough to talk to them. 

Whenever Yumyulack spoke, Korvo and Terry could fanboy over it, like he’s some famous celebrity that they just met, and Jesse couldn’t understand why. Yumyulack loved their reactions, which gave him more of a reason to speak less.

“Why are you guys acting like that?” Jesse asked, while they fanboyed over Yumyulack in the car in front of the middle school. He had left a few seconds ago and Jesse was still in the back seat as she stared at her parents in the front driver and passenger seat. “Yumyulack talks all the time.”

“What?” Terry gasped, as he and Korvo looked back at her. 

“He does?” Korvo added.

“Yeah. He talks to me.” She shrugs. “You’re acting like he never speaks.” 

“Sweetie, he doesn’t talk to us and when he does, it’s only a word or two.” Korvo explains. 

“Yeah, it was only recently he started to speak more.” Terry says.

“Ugh!” Jesse groans. “Whatever, dads!” She hooked her backpack strap to her shoulder as she gets out of the car and slams the door shut.

“Don’t be too jealous, honey.” Terry says from the window as she was walking away from the car. 

“I’m not jealous!” She stomped her foot into the cement of the ground, then quickly turned around and speed walked into the building. 

“They grow up so fast.” Terry commented, interlacing his fingers with Korvo’s. His fiance smiles back at him. 

They didn't mind the moodiness of 13. What was more terrifying for them was periods. Not the ones at the ends of sentences, but the ones when a girl becomes a woman. Korvo only had textbook knowledge of it and Terry had Terri. From what he remembers while being with Terri was that it's painful and she'd cry a lot- not from the pain, but from little things, like accidentally snapping the lead of her mechanical pencil from putting too much pressure on it. 

Neither him or Korvo knows what to do when she starts bleeding. Today just happens to test their knowledge. After two hours of chilling at home because it happens to be both of their days off, they get a call from the school. It was about Jesse. 

When they picked her up, she was wearing different pants. She was sitting in the waiting chair with her arms crossed and a huge frown on her face. When she spotted her parents she quickly walked past them to the car.

Terry looked at Jesse from the car rearview mirror. She still had her arms crossed as she looked out the window. It started to rain and she began tearing up, and she didn't know why.

"Jesse-" Terry's started.

"I don't wanna talk about it dad!" She buried her face in her hands. 

When they got arrived to their home, Jesse sprints to her room and locked the door, as she drove into her bed and cried into her pillow. She didn't know why she was so sad, or why she was crying so hard. Her abdomen felt like it was getting stabbed by ten knives and the blood in the weird diaper the nurse gave her was uncomfortably wet. When Terry had said that she'll go from being a girl to being a woman, she didn't think she would bleed from her no-zone. It was even more embarrassing when the nurse had to explain what periods were to her because Terry's explanation was vague. The nurse had to reassure her that she wasn't going to bleed out and die when she thought she was. 

The worst part was yet to come. If the beginning wasn't bad enough, the worst part was that she had to bleed every month. It wasn't fair! In all honesty, Jesse was terrified because she didn't think existing as a girl would be such a pain, or embarrassing. Everyone at school saw the blood stain on her pants and made fun of her for it. It was another thing on the list to pick on her for. 

There was a knock on her door, a soft one, and she knew who it was. There was only one person who would gently knock like that. Jesse opened the door to see her father, Korvo, holding a plate of her favorite sandwich. She always liked the way Korvo made her sandwiches, with the crust cut and random shit thrown together. Yumyulack would joke to her about eating trash, but to Jesse, it tasted like love. 

"Dad." Her voice was small and her eyes were puffy from crying. 

He hands her the plate and she takes it. "You wanna talk about it now?" 

Jesse held the door closer to her for comfort. "Talk about what? That I bled through my pants in front of everyone?" She was tearing up again. "No offense, dad, but you and dad wouldn't understand!"

Before Korvo could say something. she shuts the door in his face. He frowns, turning his head to see Terry poking his head from the corner of the corridor. 

"Thanks for the sandwich." Her voice could be heard through the door, as she sunk to the floor slowly and took a bite of it. 

Within two minutes, there was another knock at the door. This time the knock was loud and obnoxious, and it belonged to Yumyulack. She trudged out of bed to open it and see her brother. "I can't get two minutes of- What do you want?" She asked, annoyed that she had to pause her music for this. She hadn't realized five hours had passed since she last came home.

"I heard you got stabbed." Yumyulack says with his arms crossed. 

"I didn't get stabbed. I got my 'period'." She puts the word period in finger quotations because she doesn't entirely understand why it's called a period. 

"You mean when girls bleed from their vaginas?" He says, nonchalantly shrugging. "It's health class 101." 

"Ew, you actually pay attention in that class?" She says as Yumyulack invited himself into Jesse's room and shuts the door behind him. "You wouldn't get it, Yumyulack. No one does because I'm the only girl in the house!"

"Did you forget about Uncle John?" He smirks, stopping himself from laughing at how pathetic John could be sometimes. 

"That doesn't count. He doesn't have- he doesn't bleed!" Jesse' lips formed a thin line as she tried to stop herself from crying. She would be caught dead if her brother of all people saw her sweating from her eyes. "You know this happens every month for the rest of my life?" 

"Haha, yeah." He chuckled, feeling thankful he wasn't born with a womb. 

"What's that supposed to mean?" she shouted, sounding like a demon had escaped her. "Oh, my god. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to yell." 

"I thought I was the angsty one here." 

"Being quiet doesn't mean you're angsty." Her stomach growled. She was starting to crave for something sweet, like cookies or candy. "Yumyulack, could you do me a favor?"

"No." He leaves the room before she could tell him what she wanted. 

"Dammit." She grimaces. Jesse wanted to avoid leaving the comfort of her room because in here she didn't need to face the world. Here, she was still a child and not in the beginning stages of teenage angst. But she was hungry, and she really wanted cookies. Maybe if she was quiet she could steal some before anybody notices. Surely, everyone would be busy doing something to pay attention to her. 

Creaking the door open, she tiptoed down the stairs to the kitchen. Once through the door, she was met with both of her parents who stopped whispering to each other and stared back at her. 

“Hey, honey.” Terry greeted with an awkward smile

“Hi, sweetie.” Korvo follows along, then does a quick glance at Terry, then back at Jesse.

She narrowed her eyes. Her parents were acting more suspicious than she was. “What’s going on here?” Jesse asked. “Were you guys being gross?” 

“No!” They say at the same time as Terry's face grew pink. "We were talking about taxes… Anyway, how- how are you?"

"Still bleeding." She answers, hugging her arms. "And I want cookies."

Terry goes to the cabinet and reaches up to take the cookie bag and hands it to Jesse. She snatches it and goes to the fridge to steal the pickle jar and the tub of ice cream.

Terry sheds a tear when Jesse leaves the kitchen. "She's growing up so fast." He cried. He was more than happy but to a parent, it was just yesterday that she was wearing bibs and crying over spilled milk. 

Korvo wraps an arm around his shoulder and pulls him closer. "I know." 

When was it the perfect time to give someone you love a ring, a perfect diamond hand picked from the coolest, perhaps the oldest caves. It was more than one color and in the sun it reflected so beautifully. It was the perfect mineral to use for a satcom-link. As much as Korvo wanted to do that with his ring, he couldn't. There were bigger and better things to make use of this diamond. 

Korvo kept himself locked in the garage as he melted white gold alloy and worked on perfecting his ring for Terry. He spent so much money on just the diamond that he doesn't even bother telling Terry that he's nearly broke. This was all for love, and it was expensive. 

All the while, Terry hadn't told Korvo that it was his day off because he was busy looking for the right ring for Korvo. While he was sleeping, he had to sneak measurements of Korvo's finger and he had to do so quietly, so he couldn't wake his fiancé. He couldn't let him be sus about Terry because he wanted it to be a surprise. Which is why he's shopping at the mall for THE RING. 

There were so many and they were all so expensive. There was a couple in the store shopping at the same time as him. The girl reminded Terry of Terri because she also had dyed red hair. He wondered what kind of ring she would get. Would it be a gold band and some wacky colored gem? He didn't know, but he knew she liked weird things like that- things that made no sense. But what would Korvo like? He looked between the gold rings and the white rings. They both looked equally nice to him. If Korvo got him a ring like that, he would pass out from sheer happiness. 

Terry began to overthink about what ring Korvo would like. He had a few thousand dollars on him so he could literally pick anything. Does Korvo even care about what it looks like? Terry guessed not but still. He wanted something Korvo could gawk at, instead of gawking at him, or something so nice that he could drag about it. Though, he knew Korvo wasn't the type to brag about something as insignificant as a jewlry, but he _would_ brag about something math related.

It took him about two hours to pick a ring and he still wasn't sure about it. At one point, the lady employee thought he was going to rob the store. When he was paying for it, the lady commented, "What a lucky lady!" 

"Yeah," Terry smiled. " _He_ sure is."

Her smile dropped. "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know." She apologized for that embarrassing comment. 

"It's okay." He smiled back politely. It didn't matter to him because today he was finally going to propose with a real ring this time. He makes a mental note to not forget the ring somewhere because chances are, Korvo might find it and it'll ruin the surprise. 

Later in the day after John took the kids to babysit them at his house, he took precautions just in case the couple ended up doing something the kids might regret seeing. And surely enough, the couple did do something that the rest of the family would regret seeing, but before that happens. The date, perhaps the last one, that these two men will be having as just boyfriends.

The air was cool, maybe a bit warmer than usual. It would only make sense since it's mid May. The flowers were already blooming, which was unfortunate for Terry because the pollen would make him sneeze quite often. That didn't matter right now. What mattered was his love sitting in front of him. Any minute, he thought he would swipe out the ring and quickly ask, "will you marry me again?" But the opposite happens. He waited, and waited. Terry didn't understand why he was so nervous, or why his palms were so sweaty. 

Korvo was no different. He had planned on revealing the ring and romantically ask his partner to official be his (in terms of marriage). But that plan was supposed to happen an hour ago.

These two idiots haven't realized they weren't even looking at each other the whole time. Korvo had his eyes glued to his jacket pocket while Terry was feeling his pant pocket for the ring to make sure he hadn't lost it. The conversations were excruciatingly dry and most of the time, they weren't even into it. If this were a first date, they would've left before it even started. 

Terry looked at Korvo who seemed to be just as nervous as him. He took this as a sign, that maybe they weren't right for each other, or maybe the universe was telling him that this wasn't meant to be. And Terry began to believe his irrational thoughts. He thought back to the many times they'd fight over things that didn't matter, or for caring too much or too little. He wondered if Korvo felt that too. Why was this so much easier when he first proposed with the fake ring? It wasn't real so it made things simple for him. But this rock in his pocket was real and it was supposed to signify his love for Korvo (or something like that). He gave Korvo a fake ring before, did that mean he didn't love him for real? Maybe this time he thinks it's real love when really it isn't because he tried so hard to pick out something that'll look good, as if it was a materialistic item. He didn't know. Last time, he was so sure but he doesn't know if he's sure that he's sure. _Just give him the ring_ , his mind screamed at him, but his body was stiff and he couldn't feel his hands. The incessant thoughts were too loud and he was feeling uncomfortably hot. He couldn't take it anymore. 

He shut his eyes and yelled, "I wanna go home!" 

Korvo quickly snatches his hand away from his pocket as he turns his attention to Terry. He was just about to say the magic words and pull out the ring. He didn't think Terry would be so dissatisfied with their date that he had to shout. Korvo was a lot disappointed. "Okay, yeah." He says, wanting to make Terry happy and thinking he could still save the day. "Let's go."

So they drove. Well, Korvo was driving and Terry was staring out the window, watching as the other cars passed by. There wasn't a single thought in his head as he played with the ring in his pocket. He couldn't think after what happened. He embarrassed Korvo and ended their date short. Terry didn't want to look at Korvo for fear that he somehow let him down or made him angry. Either of those options were equally bad. 

Instead, he stared out at the dark, ignoring his reflection entirely. He had to do one thing and he couldn't. He felt like such a loser and a failure. He wondered how Korvo could still love him after all this time. 

Korvo took several glances at Terry because he looked bummed out, and he thinks that it's his fault. Of course, he does. He always blames himself for any inconvenience. Tonight was supposed to be special- no, more than special. It was supposed to be ethereal, second from a wedding, but still pretty out of this world. If only he had asked Terry fast enough then he wouldn't have wanted to leave so soon. 

He could've asked the restaurant to play Terry's favorite song or told them that he was going to propose and they get free food. Or- or- anything that'll make Terry stop hating him! He knows he's fucked up in the past, but as the old saying goes, he's a different person now. He barely thinks about oxys or drinks anymore and he spends a lot of time with Terry and the kids. That has to be a bonus for everything that he's done.

Korvo began to think that maybe Terry doesn't want to be with him anymore. He has kinda let himself go but he tries to look up to standards. Maybe Terry doesn't want an old guy. Korvo is almost 40 after all. Before he knows it, he can't get it up anymore and he's shooting dust from his dick. And it certainly doesn't help that his white hair is more prominent now. He takes a glance at his hands on the steering wheel. He doesn't have wrinkles yet. 

The thought of Terry leaving him was killing him inside- no, it was worse than dying- it would be hell. Korvo doesn't want anyone else but Terry. It would be hard to fall in love. He's gone years without dating anyone, and he's pretty sure that his skills are nonexistent at this point. Korvo is a nerd, not the sexy kind from when he was in college. An idea popped into his head. Maybe he could get Terry to consider staying with him. 

Korvo inhales deeply, then slowly exhales. "I'm sorry." He doesn't see Terry turned his head to him because he was keeping his eyes on the road. "Whatever I did, I'm sorry."

There came a sad smile on Terry's face. He hated when Korvo blamed himself for nothing. "You did nothing wrong." 

It relieves him to hear Terry say that, even though he doesn't believe it. He was still scared. "You know I love you, right?" 

"Of course, I do." He wasn't looking at Korvo. 

"I'd do anything for you." Korvo glanced at Terry then back to the road. 

"Are you feeling okay?" He asked as Korvo parked in the drive way. 

He sighs, trying to contain his growing anxiety. Korvo faced Terry and answered, "yes, I just love you so much." He didn't realize his voice was shaking.

Terry smiled after hearing Korvo say that. Then he realized he was definitely sure about marrying him. It didn't matter if they fought or if they had issues of their own. He couldn't picture anyone else telling him that they loved him or walking up to see someone else in his bed in the morning. It was always Korvo. No one could make him so weak yet so powerful like Korvo does. It didn't matter if they were married or not, as long as they get to be together forever, then everything would be fine. Terry answers Korvo's confession with a kiss.

They giggled like two lovers about to have sex for the first time as they made their way up into their room. Terry was pressed up against the door as Korvo covered him in kisses. He pulled the jacket back as Korvo took it off of his body. When he threw it to the floor, a loud ping was heard, like a piece of metal had dropped onto the wood. Terry glances at the shiny object next to Korvo's jacket. Korvo turned his head in the direction Terry was looking at and realized it was the ring that dropped. 

"Shit." He quickly left the warmth of Terry's body to snatch the ring off the floor. "Uh." His face grew hot as he blushed. 

This just confirmed everything. Fate actually was on his side and that his nervousness wasn't a sign to not marry Korvo, but was a sign that he still cares about what Korvo would think. And Korvo still cares about what Terry would think too. "You," Terry stared at the ring, then to Korvo. "Were gonna propose?" 

"Y-yeah." Korvo says, sheepishly and rubbed the back of his neck. 

Terry stuck his hand in his pocket and pulled out his ring he got for Korvo, holding it up to him. "I was gonna propose too." 

They didn't say anything. They didn't have to. It was already written in the stars from the start. The room was dim as the only light source was the moon from outside. They both sat on the floor while the world broke into pieces, and they were only abstractions of two people in love. They shared a kiss as they slipped the rings onto the other's finger and laughed until they cried. The only thing that silenced them was their love and a pair of lips. 


	20. Chapter 20

The kids came home to find engagement rings on their parents fingers. Jesse couldn't have been more happier. Her parents were the reason why she believed in true love, besides all the fairytale stories Korvo used to tell her at night. And Yumyulack was just as happy even though he tried not showing it. John, however, wanted to be happy for Korvo and Terry. Korvo is his best friend, he's supposed to be happy but it bummed him out.

Korvo and Terry didn't get married right away because of money issues. They both spent a lot of money on the rings. It wasn't until four years later that they finally get to be wed. The timing couldn't have been more perfect as it was relatively around the same time as prom, just only a week away. 

Yumyulack and Jesse were juniors in high school now. Yumyulack spoke more often to his parents. He still wonders why he called his dads by their names when he was in middle school. Things were different then and he's matured a lot for his age. 

"Dad, when am I getting a car?" Yumyulack asked Terry while he was driving him and Jesse home from school. 

"When you learn to not crash every time you're behind the wheel." Terry answered. 

"It was Jesse's fault." He argued. 

"Hey, _I_ was helping with direction!" She yelled from the back seat. 

"Keep telling yourself that, dum-dum." Yumyulack mocked, then turned to his father. "Anyways, pops said I did great, so I should get a car." 

"I'll think about it." Terry says, not really meaning it. Until Yumyulack could properly drive then he might consider it. 

"Yes!" He cheered to himself. "And it has to be when I turn 18, so I could get bragging rights from my friends." 

"I don't think dad could buy two cars within a month." Jesse commented.

"Two cars?" 

"Yeah, he's obviously getting me one too." She rolled her eyes at Yumyulack for only thinking about himself. 

"Guys, did you forget about the wedding?" He furrowed his brows.

"So?" They said. 

"We don't have money to buy you both a car." Terry finished. 

Yumyulack slipped Terry a $20 and whispered, "you could still get me one and forget about the goblin in the back seat." 

Terry takes the dollar. "Yumyulack, a car doesn't cost $20. And I'm keeping this."

"Fine. It was your $20." He says nonchalantly. 

Later in the day, Jesse had hid away in her room, like she always does. But this time she was unsure about her dress for prom. It was light pink and lacy, and she felt silly for wearing it. The heels were uncomfortable and it made her taller than she already was. She wondered if her date would like it. It didn't matter if her date would like her dress because she didn't like her dress. Dammit! She should've bought something nicer than this cheap fabric.

Pulling the dress off, Jesse throws it on her bed and puts on a nice shirt with a skirt, which were the same exact colors. Nobody would notice she was wearing two pieces of clothing anyway. 

Jesse had waited a solid two minutes at the entrance of the prom for her date. Two minutes became two hours, then she finally concluded that she got stood up. It wasn't enough to make her cry though because she spent hours perfecting her make up and she wasn't about to ruin it just because of some jerk. In all seriousness, she was hurt. It didn't help that the person who asked her out was her grade school bully, Billy Patrick. Jesse was too nice to say no, but wasn't naive enough to know what his game was. She didn't bother going inside because she was scared the school was gonna pull a _Carrie_ on her and pour pig blood on her. As cool as that would be, she didn't feel like being sticky in a blood. Plus, she didn't have telekinesis, and she wouldn't be able to get her revenge. 

She sat in the back of the building's parking lot, and wished Yumyulack was with her. She takes it back because her brother would only scold her for trusting Billy-Fucking-Patrick. She thought that maybe there could be a chance, even though he's not the most attractive looking or nice. That wasn't the point though. She wasn't hurt because she liked Billy. She was hurt because she spent so much time trying to look nice for an event that she didn't even go to. It was supposed to be every girl's dream to get asked to prom by some guy, but to Jesse this doesn't feel like a dream, nor was it special. She should've just gone to the arcade with Yumyulack and his friends. 

Finally, the familiar vehicle of her father's car drove up to her. "Hey, honey." He says through the rolled down window. 

Jesse doesn't greet him back and just gets into the car. The ride was silent. Jesse didn't want to talk about it, and Terry didn't want to pry. However, instead of going home, they went out for burgers. It made Jesse significantly better, especially with Terry's jokes and stories. She almost forgot that she was ditched at prom. _Almost._

After that, Terry takes her to his favorite place, the cliff. It was the spot that he and Korvo went to on their first date. "Why are we here?" Jesse asked while getting out of the car to follow Terry.

He stood by the fence that blocked the cliff from the edge. "Just cause." He answers. "It looks nice up here."

Jesse looked over the horizon and saw what Terry saw; lights from the city. The faint sound of traffic and people talking could be heard. It was like being on the edge of the world, or the edge of society and you're stalking in to see how people live. 

"You look a lot like your mother." With the exception of the color of her hair and eyes belonging to Terry. 

"I know. You say that a lot." Jesse says, recalling the many times Terry commented on her semblance to her maker. She looked at her hands. Terry always mentioned her but he never really talks about her. Maybe because she never asked. "What was she like? My mom?"

"She was," Terry paused, trying to find the words to say what Terri was to him. "My best friend."

"So, she was like how Uncle John is to dad." Jesse says.

"In a way, yes, but we were closer." Terry says.

"What's closer than best bros?" She asked, quickly realized that Terri wasn't just a surrogate mother. "You were together? Like- like you and dad together?"

"Yeah." Terry confirmed. "She was really smart and kind, sometimes she was harsh, but not mean, not on purpose anyway. And she also had the same name as me, but with an i." 

Jesse started laughing. "That's so lame! How do you even get someone pregnant with the same name as you?"

"Well, it happened in college-" 

Jesse laughed louder. "A- a college pregnancy. Dad, I thought you were better than that." Her laughter dies down as she wipes her tears.

"It was complicated between us, but it wasn't always like that. We were together for two years, then she cheated on me." Terry remembers, but the feeling he got wasn't bitterness anymore. It became a fond memory, knowing why she did what she did. "But she wasn't a bad person. She was just looking for something that she couldn't find in me." 

Jesse kept quiet as she listened to her father talk about his dead ex girlfriend.

"She died after you were born." He says with a sad frown. Jesse couldn't help but feel sad too. 

Jesse began to think about all the times he and Korvo would fight. Terry would bolt out of the house sometimes. She always wondered where he went. Now, she might have an idea. "Is that where you go every time you and dad fight?"

"To her grave, yeah." He answers, with a twinge in his chest. There was a slight guilt looming over him with the thought that he finds comfort in Terri when he's mad at Korvo.

It was quiet and the only thing that was loud were the crickets chirping and the owls' hoots. This was brooding. Jesse's next question probably made it worse. "Why did it take you so long to propose to dad? I mean, you guys have been together forever." She asked. "Why the wait?" 

Terry didn't know either. It wasn't because of them as a couple, but themselves as individuals. "Because we're not perfect people." He says. "Your dad had his issues and I had mine and we fought sometimes. But despite that he still stayed. He didn't need to because you and Yumyulack weren't his responsibilities." Sure, money was kind of an issue but Terry knew his truth. He knew their problems got in the way of their happily ever after. And it scared him that once they finally got married it would only get worse. 

"Do you… love him?" Jesse asked, embarrassed from the question. 

Terry looked away as he spoke. "I used to ask myself that a lot back then. I didn't know if it was love or if I needed him, then I realized it was both in a fucked up kind of way." 

"Like you're dependent on him? That's kinda toxic, dad." Jesse chuckles slightly to ease the tension. 

Terry laughs too then solemnity takes him. "I know. I can't imagine my life without him. If your dad weren't here, I'd be alone. Probably on the street somewhere downing a 40 and tripping over my two feet. And maybe you wouldn't be born." Terry chuckles as he realizes another epiphany. "It was because of Korvo that I knocked up your mom. Because I liked him too much and I was jealous of Uncle John. I thought they were dating, but turns out, he's not into guys. I forgot about the little detail when I first slept with your dad."

"Okay, gross. I don't need to hear that." She giggles. "So, dad is actually my mom."

"Sure, you could see it that way." Terry paused. "Korvo's mom died the same way that your mom died. Call it fate or whatever, but I don't think Korvo's ever gotten over it. So, how are you holding up?"

"I feel fine. I mean it would've been nice to know her, but I'm still happy with you and dad." Jesse says. "Also, it's kinda funny having a grandpa named Mister."

Terry chuckled. "Yeah, his last name is Korvo. From what your dad told me, he has his mom's last name." It was a sweet thought to Terry, that Korvo's father named him his last name and uses his wife's last name as Korvo's last name. He had a piece of each parent.Something foreign to Terry, but still something he admired.

They laugh about Korvo being a mom. It was true though, but he and Terry would take turns being the mom. "So, when are you gonna tell Yumyulack that he's adopted?" Jesse asked.

Terry's smile drops immediately. "How did you know that?" He asked, looking his daughter in the eyes.

"I snooped around in your room and found the papers. Sorry." Jesse shrugged with a guilty smile. 

Terry wasn't mad. He knew eventually they'd find it. He didn't do a good job at hiding the papers. "Did you tell him?"

"No. It's the parents job to tell their kids that they're adopted. It's pretty messed up now because I've made… some jokes about it to him." Jesse fidgets with her fingers. 

"You made jokes to your brother that he's adopted?" He puts his hands on his hips. 

"He stole my wallet and kept it for a week! I couldn't eat lunch at school because my card was in it." Jesse explained herself. 

Terry sighed as he thought he could deal with his kid's feud later. "We'll tell him soon. I don't want him to freak out and start looking for his birth parents." 

"Because he doesn't have any?" Jesse finished. Before Terry could say anything, she says, "I saw it on the papers. There's no names. Poor Yumyulack."

"Yeah." Terry agrees, thinking about his own abandonment of his birth parents. 

Yumyulack stood at the door of his parents bedroom. The dark wood door was closed as he stared at the lines of this once blooming tree. Korvo was out to get something from work and left Yumyulack alone in the house. He was almost 18. Korvo didn't need John to babysit his kids anymore. Thus left his son unattended with the thought in the back of his mind that his parents were hiding something from him. 

Jesse had made jokes before, maybe ones that were quite jarring but it enticed Yumyulack's curiosity, in a bad way. It bothered him so much that he left early from hanging out with his friends at the arcade. He often overthinks things. It was a curse brought upon him since he was born. Jesse wouldn't say something about him being adopted unless there has to be more to it, right? It could be just nothing, but the thought was too formidable to ignore. He had always thought that he belonged to Korvo, like how Jesse belonged to Terry. He wouldn't know unless he opened the door. The thoughts screamed at him, reminding him that Korvo will be back any minute then he won't get this chance again. 

Yumyulack holds his breath as he forgets to think for a moment and twists the door knob to swing the door open. He peaked his eyes open as he hadn't realized his eyes were closed the whole time. The room was quiet and cold. The bed was perfectly made. Yumyulack could clearly tell which side his parents slept on. Terry's nightstand was messy and unkempt while Korvo's was neat and mostly empty with only an alarm clock and a deck of cards. He didn't know his father liked gambling.

There was a single couch with a lot of Terry's clothes on it. He quickly searched around the room for anything that looked important and made sure to put everything back where he found it. Then, there it was. It was a brown suitcase that didn't have any lock to it. If Yumyulack had to guess, it was because Terry is bad at remembering combinations and locations of hidden keys. 

He opens the case and first sees Jesse's papers. It was her birth certificate. It had Terry's name on it as the birth father and a woman named Terri, too? Yumyulack found it weird that Jesse's donor had the same name as his father. He found the other government documents. She was in custody of Terry. He looked through more of the papers and saw Terri's name again. It had her date of death and the cause. It came to him as a shock that Jesse's birth mom died while giving birth to her. He wondered if his mother had the same fate. 

It didn't take him long enough to find his own papers. He found his birth certificate but didn't see any names for the birth parents. Instead of finding other documents for his birth, he found adoption papers. He was under Terry and Korvo's custody. He couldn't believe it. He didn't belong to anybody, not even Korvo, like he thought he did. He began to brim with anxiety as anger stirred inside him. Yumyulack tried to search through the papers to see if there was anything information on his birth parents but still no names or anything. There wasn't even a signature.

Yumyulack gritted his teeth and he fixed the papers neatly back into the suitcase. He shuts it and shoves it back into the closet. When he stepped out of the room, he heard the front door open and the sound of Jesse's high pitched voice. Confrontation was his worst trait, but he was curious and angry, and hurt. 

He ran down stairs to see both of his parents there too. They must've gotten back at the same time. 

"I'm adopted?" He shouted at his parents. 

Terry and Korvo exchanged glances at each other. "W-well, two guys can't make a child-"

"That's not the point! You didn't think it would be ideal to tell your kid that they don't belong?" Yumyulack clutches his fists, digging his nails into his palms. "And why don't I have real parents?"

Technically, Korvo and Terry are his real parents but he was referring to his biological parents. Neither of the men wanted to break the news to him. Terry didn't want Yumyulack to be bitter like him with the knowledge that his biological parents didn't want him. But he was bitter now. 

"Fine, I'll go look for them myself." Yumyulack shoves past Terry and out the door. 

"Yumyulack, wait!" Jesse ran out the door to follow him. She grabbed into his arm to pull him from moving any further. 

He snatches his arm back away from her. "Leave me alone." He turns to her. "You don't get it, Jesse. You actually have someone. I have no one! How is that fair?" 

"You do have someone. Me, dad, and dad. Just because we're not related to you doesn't mean we're any less family." Jesse says. "If you're gonna run away, which I guarantee that we'll find you before you leave the block, just know that dads actually wanted you around." 

"What you're saying my biological parents didn't want me?" Yumyulack crossed his arms. 

Jesse bit her lip, deciding whether to tell him about his mother. "Look, dad told me that your real mom left the hospital the minute you were born, which is why there's no names on your birth certificate."

He averted his eyes. "You're lying." He says, knowing full well that Jesse had no reason to lie.

"Why don't you ask them yourself?" Jesse advised, pointing to the house. 

Yumyulack frowned. She was right. If anyone knew anything about what happened when he was born, it would be his dads.

He comes back into his house to find his dads sitting on the couch, huddling closely as they whisper amongst each other. "Uh, dad?" Yumyulack called rubbing his arm as he caught their attention. "Could we talk?"

Korvo got up and gave Terry a pat on the shoulder. He had no business in this because he was high the entirety of Jesse's bith and Yumyulack's adoption. Korvo and Jesse escaped into the backyard to give Terry and Yumyulack time to talk. "S-so what do you wanna talk about, kiddo?" 

Terry wasn't exactly excited to have this conversation. His palms were sweaty and his leg couldn't stop bouncing. He didn't want Yumyulack to have a bad reaction and try to run away for real. "Jesse said my mom left me at the hospital. Is that true?" He knew it was. He just needed to hear Terry say it.

"Yeah." Terry answers. 

Yumyulack sat down next to his father. The truth hurts. He was hurt but not enough to shed tears. "Why?"

How do you tell someone that they were unwanted? How do you make someone feel better with the thought of abandonment, that someone purposely made the choice to leave you all alone in this cruel world? Anyone can assume that their creator hates them if they left them for dead. Or maybe it was love, but Terry never saw it that way. No one had ever loved him after he was born, except some crazy exes. He doubts they ever really loved him as they never got a chance to fully know him. They only stayed for the "cool party Terry," not the "depressing lonely Terry." Maybe because he never showed that side of himself to anyone but Terri. He was wrong. Terri had learned that about him while being with him, yet she still stayed, after knowing how ugly he thought of himself. 

But this was different. Terry doesn't want to tell him about monsters and hopelessness. He wanted to give what he never got. 

"I asked myself the same thing when my mom left me at the hospital." Terry started. Yumyulack looked at him with sorrow in his eyes. "I was adopted too, but I didn't have two dads. It was by two people who hated me and tried their best to show it."

Terry glances at Yumyulack to see his expression as both sympathetic and uncomfortable. He didn't want to think about Terry's adoptive parents abusing him. He was smart enough to know what Terry was implying.

"Point is, the difference between us is that your dad and I love you." He puts a comforting hand on his son's shoulder. "So, if you want to find your birth parents, we'll support you. Just know that we'll still be your family."

Yumyulack thought about his life with Terry, Korvo and Jesse. He didn't know anything else besides that. He didn't have any family besides that, but he wanted to know what his life would be like if his mom never left. Yumyulack pulled his dad into a hug. "Thanks, dad." He did know one thing. He was definitely loved here. 

It was around night-ish, or mid evening, John didn't know. He was too busy sitting in a bar feeling lonely while downing a tall glass of beer. It's not his favorite drink but at least it'll make him temporarily forget about Korvo's wedding tomorrow. He doesn't stop with three drinks. Instead, he keeps drinking until he becomes too shitfaced to keep his head up. 

He wondered why he wasn't getting married. He wondered why he wasn't already married. It can't be that hard to fall in love and have someone love you back. John couldn't even stay with one person long enough to want marriage because all he thinks about when he's with someone else is Terri. He thinks he should be over her but he's not. He never gave himself a chance to grieve over her. John downed another cup as the muffled sound of the bartender telling him to stop goes past his head. 

The next thing he knows, he was hunched over the toilet and vomiting his guts out. The thought of Terri smiling and laughing with him plays in her head. He doesn't even remember her voice correctly. Is this insanity? Her "voice" was telling him to stop and that he should go home. She'd know what to do in this situation. She'd know how he feels and maybe guide him through it. But Terri isn't here, she hasn't been for a while now. 

When he walked out of the bathroom, he saw his best friend Korvo sitting at the bar, waiting for him. He rubbed his eyes to make sure his eyes weren't playing tricks on him. He didn't recall him being here with him.

"John." Korvo called as he walked up to his friend, and watched as he trudged towards him. "Okay, I think you had enough to drink."

Korvo helped John outside of the bar. "How did you know I was here?" He asked.

"You called me, remember?" Korvo raised an eyebrow as they got to the car. He doesn't remember calling Korvo at all.

John leaned his back on the car door as the feeling came back again, the one that he was trying to get rid of with disgusting beer. "Korvo, why am I st- still single and sad about Terri? I tried to- to move on, y'know?" He bit the sobs attempting to escape. "I fucked a prostitute because I was still a virgin. Isn't that sad? I couldn't even get a nice lady!" 

"You had sex with a prostitute?" Korvo asked in disbelief. He didn't think the lad would go that far. 

"Yes!" John cried as he wrapped his arms around Korvo's neck and hugged him. Korvo hugs him back. "Why am I s- s- s- so alone?" 

Korvo pats John on the back, pitying his lonely bro. "You'll find someone." 

John looked up at Korvo. You'd think all these years he would at least grow a bit taller but no. He's still 5'7. Without much thought in his head, he says, "I shouldn't have rejected you," referring to the time when Korvo asked him out when they were in college all those years ago. Maybe he would've been happy. Maybe he wouldn't be alone and heartbroken. John tiptoes, mashing his lips against Korvo's.

He pushes John away, creating a fair distance between the two men. Korvo remembered all the times in college when he and John would drink together and he would become extremely touchy and gay towards Korvo. He remembered how it made him felt and how much it confused him. Korvo remembered how he felt about John all those years ago. Korvo remembered how he no longer felt that way for his best friend. "You're just drunk. You don't actually mean it." He says, trying to convince himself more than John.

"I know." John sounded small. "I'm sorry." He buries his face in Korvo's chest and cries.

Korvo comes home later after dropping John off at his house. He didn't know how he could bring this up to Terry. What could he even say? Regardless, he couldn't lie about this. Their wedding is tomorrow and he didn't want to hide anything from him.

He goes up into his room to see Terry playing on his Switch on their bed. His tongue stuck out as he tried to kick the NPC's ass but cursed when he lost the fight. "Hey, Korvy." He greeted, looking up to see his fiancé. 

"Uh, hey." Korvo greeted, kicking his shoes off and crawling into bed. He looked at his fidgety hands. "Um, John kissed me."

Terry paused his game. "What?" 

"John-" 

"I heard you." He put the game down and turned his attention to Korvo. Terry's eyes roamed around as he gathered his thoughts. "Did you… reciprocate?" 

"No- no, I love _you_. I love you so much that I hate myself a little bit less. How could I even begin to feel for someone else?" Korvo says, holding onto Terry's hands. 

Terry tilted his head as he smiled at the response. "Aw, Korvo. That was almost romantic." His smile drops. "But you used to have feelings for John before we…"

"Yeah, 'used to', as in, I don't feel that way anymore, because I want you." He scoots closer to Terry and gave him a peck on the lips. "It's always been you." 

Terry smiles Korvo's words as it calmed him from the anxiousness.

* * *

**THE WEDDING DAY**

The wedding wasn't too big or too extravagant. It was nice and simple, something the two men could afford. The whole family was invited, even Jack was there, Terri's sister. She and Jesse became best friends. Terry thinks it's mostly because Jesse looked like Terri that she decided to show up. Mister Korvo was there and he still hasn't gotten gray hairs, but he did bring a date. It made Korvo happy that his father found someone and wouldn't have to die alone. Jesse brought some of her friends and Yumyulack brought all of his friends, which were only three of them. 

Korvo and Terry stood at the altar, which wasn't really an altar at a church. It was outside. They said their vows, toasts and speeches. It was perfect to them. 

They thought marriage wouldn't change a thing between them but it changed everything. This was happening for real, not just in either of their minds. They both had a place for Terri to be at so her ghost wouldn't be left out. When it came to the bouquets throwing, Korvo just tossed it to John to give him some luck with romance. John didn't stay at the party for too long and Korvo couldn't blame him. He would feel the same way if John was the one who had "everything." 

They were alone again as they shared a kiss privately, like they had a secret between only them. They weren't the same people they used to be. Perhaps, they were better than they were before. Korvo doesn't do drugs anymore and Terry doesn't have to constantly worry about him killing himself. Korvo made peace with himself and tried to make peace with his sister but she didn't show up. He wondered if he'll ever see her again. 

Terry never looked for his biological parents, or even invited his adoptive parents. He wanted to leave that life of his behind him. Terry was no longer Lawrence anymore. He never told anyone that he changed his name after he left home, not even Korvo knows about it. He did it just in case his adoptive parents tried to look for him. Now wasn't the time to dwell on the past. It was his wedding! He should at least enjoy it without being burdened by his depressing past. 

They lived happily ever after. It would be a shame if this was all a dream and Korvo was still in a coma. No, this is real… unless?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Terry's name used to be Larry. LMAO  
> The end btw. thank you for the wait and for reading.

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally supposed to be a oneshot but I just continued writing. There's no plan or direction for this fanfic. I'm just shooting blankly out of my ass, hoping that the story will write itself. I hope you enjoy what i have so far..


End file.
